I am always curious about hermits because, so far, all of them are intentional hermits and not accidental ones like me. I look to them for encouragement, example, and inspiration.
Once I found myself unable to work and somewhat isolated, about 20 years ago, I did choose to dedicate my life to God, but being a hermit was nothing I had ever aspired to do prior to finding myself in the position of being unable to work due to physical pain and disability. Over time, I have realized that my solitary condition is the only real ascetic practice that I have, other than offering up the chronic, constant pain I have suffered for the last 20 years. It's interesting how these things work out. God has a way of organizing it into an organic flow of its own. I have accepted God's will, as it has been revealed by circumstance.
Today was also Trinity Sunday. I won't even try to begin to explain the Trinity, the central concept of the Catholic faith. It is not a simple aspect of our theology, and I am too tired to even look for a good quote.
I rarely experience a day when I do not feel ill. The pain is marginally addressed with medication but causes other issues, including chronic insomnia. I can't seem to sleep more than 4 hours at a time, for one thing, and I have days when I am dragging myself through my activities. Today was one of those days. I had overdone things yesterday when I had tried to clean my house and do some laundry. The kitchen is a particular problem, since standing in one spot, to do dishes for instance, causes quite a bit of pain. So, the kitchen is almost always in a bad state. It is a constant struggle.
As I have mentioned before, I was approved for caregiver services 2 years ago but have been unable to actually avail myself of those services. There are no caregivers available and the agencies usually ask me to provide someone MYSELF in order to run them through the agency. Only the people who have relatives willing to do this job end up having their needs met. The rest of us go without. (I have previously told you about a handful of people I was offered who caused more problems than they solved - middle-aged drug addicts who had never had a job in their lives before showing up at my door because they had to show a paycheck to the judge to get their kids back who tried to bully me into letting them do their own shopping on my time, people who wanted to lay on my couch and eat my food, and a couple disabled individuals who thought they could sit around and get paid for keeping me company. That sort of thing.)
I have not just sat around and waited for someone to show up. I got creative and advertised for a caregiver many times through various websites, and I did find quite a few people who said they wanted to do the job, but when they learned that I wanted them to register with an agency to get paid, they each said the same thing, i.e., that Medicaid does not pay enough and that they wanted me to pay them cash, under the table, or they would not take the job. So, there ARE people available to do the work but they won't do it at the pay that the government allows.
I have called every single approved agency on the Medicaid list MORE than once and their situation is such that they don't even have a waiting list. They just tell me they can't help me - except for the one agency that promised me a caregiver, then when I got switched over to them, they claimed that the three days it took to get it done was "too long" and that they had given the caregiver to someone else. They offered to give me someone who refuses to get a Covid shot, which seems ludicrous. I declined to risk my life just to get my dishes done. They offered me a woman who, when she showed up, told me she intended to spend the day watching movies on Netflix on her phone or sitting and reading because she has gout and can not stand on her feet. (She refused to stay and even TRY to do the job and kept telling me that her last client did not "make" her work and that she only kept her company and brought her a sandwich when she asked for food. THAT poor woman ended up going into a nursing home because she wasn't getting the care she needed.)
I have called Medicaid have a dozen times and they just ended up telling me they can't do anything about it and to call the Department of Aging and Long Term Services who, in turn, told me to call Medicaid. Finally I called the Governor's office four times and emailed them once but never received a phone call back from them, despite assurances that I would. I sent an email to the President of the United States asking him if there wasn't something HE could so, since he was coming to our state - but I got crickets, of course. He has bigger fish to fry, obviously, but I wanted to do everything I could to advocate for myself before I gave up entirely.
Occasionally a friend will come by to do my dishes, and I am grateful I have this help. But meals happen every day and it isn't long before the dishes pile up after I have a few bad days.
Today was Sunday, a day when I typically ease up on my diet, as it is a "feast" day, and I was really hungry, so I decided to get a rare pizza from Pizza Hut. As usual, it was a disappointing experience.
It is much too expensive to have them deliver the pizza, which always arrives cold ANYWAY, so I arranged for a "contact free" pick up. I was to notify them when I got there, and they were to bring the food out to my car, just a few steps outside their front door.
Arriving at the restaurant 5 minutes after the pizza was supposed to be ready, I called the Pizza Hut number and a woman said she would "tell them" and that someone would come out with the pizza. No one came out, of course. I did see one employee outside, loitering with a homeless looking girl and polishing the hood of a car that was parked out there.
A van pulled up and a driver went in and back out again and drove away. Another van with a Texas license plate drove up and parked behind me so I could not leave if I wanted to. They went in and came out with a pizza and some Pepsi. Ten minutes went by. I saw an employee go in and out several times.
When I'd been there 20 minutes, I call again and the woman said, "well, you should have called when you arrived."
"I DID call," I told her, annoyed about the whole thing. The rude woman on the phone said she notified them that I was waiting but I may just have to go into the store. It was supposed to be "contactless pickup" and they were supposed to bring it out to my car.
So, I hobbled into the store, with my purse and my cane. The diffident and unapologetic girl behind the counter said that she had gotten no notice at all! My pizza was ready - sitting there, in the warming oven. I hobbled back out with it, juggling pizza, chicken wings, cane and purse. No tip was paid to these people and I told them I would not be back. I had given them many many chances over the years, but their food and their service is uniformly bad, and it would be crazy for me to give them any more chances.
By the time I got home, the pizza was cold, so I put it in the toaster oven. Half of it was just plain old bread. It was the worst pizza I have ever had.
I think it is time to revert to eating raw fruits and vegetables and maybe some canned beans and rice or baked yams, with nuts and seeds to supplement. It will be healthy and perhaps I will lose some weight. That way, I can avoid too many dishes. If I can get a chair into the kitchen, I won't be faced with having to stand to clean and chop veggies.
I bet Peter of Mount Athos did not eat much. I found myself being curious about the diet of the original hermits. I am betting it was also mostly raw food. In any case, it was frugal, I'm sure.
Today I made a couple pair of earrings from aluminum wire and some other findings I had on hand. I hope to sell them at a local store. I added them to the dozen or so I had made previously. Even hermits have to do some kind of manual labor to support themselves.
My favorite Carmelite nuns, with a monastery in Colorado Springs, Colorado, are part of an ascetic order of nuns that live mostly in silent adoration of the Divine, practicing meditation, chanting the holy office and immersed in mental prayer. But they have to bring in money to support themselves also, so they have a website where they sell special hand-made rosaries, religious medals, books, and all sorts of things. (By the way, you can find them at: SISTERS OF CARMEL) I highly recommend them.
I remember reading about the monks of Mount Athos when I was a nun in the Hindu convent. Mount Athos is extremely important to the mystical heart of the Orthodox Christian world. Like most monasteries, there are no females allowed on Mount Athos EXCEPT for cats which keep the mice and rats under control!
Photo from an article on a blog devoted to Greece
"The Only Female Allowed on Mount Athos"
I was surprised and delighted at the number of cats that swarm about the monasteries.
If you would like to read and see more of it, The Guardian also did a wonderful picture essay about it, which you can see HERE - "The Holy Mountain: Monks of Mount Athos
In addition to the monks of the monasteries that live there, the hills are dotted with tiny little hermit "cells" where the hermits live with the bones of the hermits that lived there before them. The bones are kept in a silver box. I'm not sure what the point is of that but it probably assists the monk in keeping his mind on the reality of human life and death. The little hermit cells look fairly dirty and unkempt. I am not sure what the older hermits eat, because some of them can no longer even get out of their cells because it would mean climbing the rocky hills and ledges where their cells are perched. One of them has lived in his cell for 64 years but can no longer come out because he can't handle the rocky climb. I am assuming that the monks of the monastery must leave him some kind of food to eat or they lift it up to him with an arrangement of pullies and baskets. When comparing my situation with his, I live like a queen, so I try to keep this all in perspective.
CBS NEWS did a report about the health of the monks of Mount Athos. The monks there live very long lives with "shockingly low" rates of cancer, heart disease, and other illnesses that plague modern man. Alzheimer's is almost "unheard of." This really IS surprising.
Their remarkable health is attributed to their diet of simple meals eaten at regular intervals in what is known as "the Mediterranean Diet" which is the diet that every one of my doctors has recommended I use! How wonderful that the diet for my good health is the same as the simple diet of ascetic monastics that I am trying to emulate!
I am pretty sure they don't have a Pizza Hut on Mount Athos. They also do not have any women or children (obviously.) They pray and meditate, do a lot of physical work, and eat a wholesome Mediterranean diet that includes lots of fresh fruits and vegetables, olive oil, nuts and seeds.
In addition to the nuts and seeds, there are some supplements that the doctors recommend. All of these things are on my wish list on Amazon. They have my address and can mail to me directly.
CLICK HERE TO SEE MY WISH LIST
CLICK HERE TO SEE MY WISH LIST
I hope and pray that you all have a wonderful week. I will be working to try to make a little extra money with my art projects but I will not forget to pray for all of you, as I hope that you also pray for me.
God bless us all!
Silver Rose
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