Corpus Christi is a "moveable feast." Today is the actual day, i.e., the Thursday just following Trinity Sunday UNLESS the Sunday after Trinity Sunday is free from another obligatory feast, which is the case THIS year, but Corpus Christi is such a pivotal and rather important aspect of our faith, that I tend to start on Thursday and maintain the mood through the next Sunday. In fact, the time period between Pentacost Sunday (which marks my entrance into the church) and Corpus Christi, has a deeply personal significance and cause for celebration for me.
Today is one of those days when I really wish that my physical condition was a bit better, just so I could attend church and have the blessing of the Eucharist. Of course, I do believe that, having received it once, it is of enduring benefit, but humans tend to appreciate the blessings that are repeated at regular intervals.
Because of Covid 19 pandemic, I have not tried to get anyone to visit me with the Eucharist on a regular basis. The last person who was bringing it started delivering it with the good news of Donald Trump instead of the day's Bible reading, and I objected to the substitution.
The Gospel reading for today is Matthew 6:7-15 in which He gives us the Our Father prayer and says that it is how we are to pray:
"Our Father, who art in Heaven
Hallowed be thy name
Thy kingdom come
Thy will be done
On earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread
and forgive us our trespasses
as we forgive those who trespass against us
and lead us not into temptation
but deliver us from evil."
Forgiveness of others is a wonderful message that is obviously extremely important to our Lord. Every time I ask something of God I remind myself to advocate also for those who have hurt me or others. To be able to put aside all resentment and the urge for retaliation is SO important. One cannot always enjoy the idea of repaying evil with good, but I can make that positive decision for it, regardless of feelings.
Every time this topic comes up, I have to work on my own capacity for forgiveness, especially with regard to some really big and shocking things done in a deliberate effort to hurt me and to also hurt my poor father who suffered from Alzheimer's and Parkinson's Disease. His whole life he said, "when I die, kid, you're gonna be rich!" He said it all the time. Provisions in his will reflected it, giving each of his daughters a third of his estate and another third for someone else. It would have come in handy for someone like me who is disabled, but it is not what happened.
After my father got Alzheimer's he was taken to an attorney entirely unknown to him and I was written out of his will . Shortly thereafter, my poor father died under EXTREMELY suspicious circumstances. His death certificate was signed by a quack doctor who later went to prison for writing prescriptions for patients he never saw! I was not notified of my father's death until his body had been cremated, and it was too late for me to get the police involved.
In the process of trying to get information about my father's suspicious death, I also learned about some outrageous lies that were told about me - to my father before he died, and to family after the fact. Supposedly, I had called and screamed at this person, when telephone records will confirm that this never happened. I DID try many times to reach my father, leaving concerned messages, but I never heard back. I did not realize that my messages were being erased by someone else. I did not know that my father had dementia or that he was being told lies about me in order to position him into an emotional state that would allow someone else to write me out of his will. During this time, that person ALSO contacted me and told me, "your father does not love you. He used to have a picture of you by the bed, but he threw it away."
The person responsible for this was obviously trying to manipulate my father (and everyone else) before his death and cover their tracks afterwards. They were successful in this, as many people are because, face it, Americans don't really care about disabled people or old people. A LOT of people think it is perfectly OK to kill a person with dementia. They say things like, "he wouldn't want to live like that." I know my father really well, and he definitely would not want to be killed. He would expect that people he took care of with the money earned from his hard work would, in turn, take care of him until his natural death. But when the money is rushing out the door for 24 hour, around-the-clock care, certain types of people start to say that "ending his (or her) misery" is the compassionate thing to do.
Every year around this time, I have to endure the emotional distress surrounding the suspicious circumstances of his death. It aggravates my PTSD something fierce. I have this vision in my mind of my father being moved into a room by himself, given an overdose of some medication from that quack doctor, the same doctor who later signed the death certificate, and then he was allowed to struggle and die, alone and unloved. And there is nothing I can do about it because his body was cremated before I knew anything. I was 3 states away, disabled and poor, without the wherewithal to travel to see him.
Imagine the type of personality who could plan and then carry out something like this! Yet, I can freely write about it because it is so common that my description could describe any one of thousands of people who met their death in the exact same way, under the exact same circumstances. These days, our society counts it as a "favor" when disabled and demented people are "helped to die." Doctors are often 'in on' the schemes. The victim typically leaves money and property behind. How convenient.
Given all this, I often feel grateful to be poor. No one will be murdering ME for my money, because I do not have any. I own no property. I leave behind only bills.
To make matters worse, other family members intervened after my father's death and compounded the injury, benefitting financially with despicable machinations originally framed as something supposed to "help" me but which were designed to back me into a corner and rob me instead. This too is quite common. The moment someone dies, it is often the trigger for the worst character traits to suddenly come out by anyone involved. I wasn't expecting it because my mind does not operate in this way. It took me far too long to realize the grift that was being perpetrated on me, on top of everything else. This is the stuff of which murder mysteries are made.
I have learned from this experience and others that human beings "become" avaricious when someone dies. They're like cockroaches scavenging a dead bug. It is a perfect example of why humans need the forgiveness of God and why having money is more of a curse than a blessing.
It is not easy to pray for the welfare of people responsible for heinous acts against myself and people I love, but I can decide to forgive without feeling happy about it. I keep having to make that decision, over and over again, every year around the anniversary of my poor father's death - chipping away, each time, at the tendency for unforgiveness. The happiness I do feel is in obeying the commandments of my Lord. He will deal with the cruel perfidious people responsible for everything that happened to my Dad and all the other dads that meet their fate in that way. Life is short, but eternity is very very long.
The Feast of Corpus Christi is the celebration of the Eucharist, so I plan to watch mass online and take advantage of spiritual communion. I am exhausted from the aftereffects of the booster shot I received yesterday. I can barely move, but I have many things to do. I pray for the energy to do what is necessary.
Saint Lutgardis
b. 1182
d. 16 June 1246
Today is also the feast day for Saint Lutgardis, who is the patron saint for people who suffer from blindness, disability, handicaps, and physical challenges, which is right up my alley, isn't it?
When she was only twelve years old, she was placed in a convent because her family had "lost" her dowry in a failed business deal, and there was no hope of finding her a good marriage. It is SO sad to read these stories about how women were treated as property until a very short time ago. Here in America, for instance, a woman could not have a credit card in her own name until the 1970's, nor could she sign pretty much any legal document without a co-signature from her father or her husband.
In the Middle Ages, when Lutgardis lived, a family had to PAY a man to take their daughter off their hands. Women were considered a burden on the family and, in the case of poor families especially, a useless extra mouth to feed. It didn't matter how much work a woman did in the household. She was never credited with the benefits of it. (To be fair, marriages were more credibly looked upon as the merging of two families rather than just individuals - and love matches were fairly rare.)
The ONE way a woman could be perceived as having any value was when she became a nun, but Lutgardis had little real interest in religion. An attractive young woman who enjoyed nice clothing and entertainment, she lived in the convent as if it was a private apartment, coming and going, hosting visitors, and generally being a scandal. I suspect this was not an unusual state of affairs, considering the spot that women were in at that time. There were a LOT of children placed in convents who had not the slightest interest in any sort of religious vocation, but living as a nun was better than living in the world as an unmarried girl, which carried the weight of disgrace.
But suddenly, one day, while relaxing and enjoying conversation with a gentleman caller in the parlor, she was struck with a vision of Jesus Christ, showing his wounds to her. She dispensed with the ersatz lover and, from that point forward, she was transformed. Of course, the other nuns were skeptical, even after she made her solemn profession as a Benedictine. But she continued to have many visions of Christ, the Blessed Virgin Mary and St. John the Evangelist. When Pope Innocent III died, he came to her to thank her for her prayers and sacrifices that she had offered for him while he was still alive.
Pope Innocent III
I love this story of Lutgardis being visited with mystical visions, despite being a pleasure-loving young woman. I relate to this very much, since I came to monasticism later in life. I find her a good example for me. I also love it that the Lord came after her and graced her with visions. It reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:
"Therefore, behold, I will allure her, and will lead her
into the wilderness: and I will speak to her heart."
Hosea 2:14
Don't we all wish that the Lord would lure us away from the world and speak to our hearts in this way? Clearly he wanted Lutgardis for his own because he interfered with her flirtation with that young man in the parlor. I used to carry in my wallet a little slip of paper with this Bible passage written on it. Then I knew it by heart and gave it away to someone who needed it.
,
Lutgardis is credited with having many mystical experiences, levitating into the air and a type of stigmata. When the Benedictine convent where she lived was trying to make her an abbess, she did not want the honor, and she shortly thereafter left them to join the Cistercians, which is an intensely contemplative order. Still, she became known for her spiritual wisdom and the miracles she performed.
For 11 years before her death, she was blind. Macular degeneration is the principle cause of blindness in older age. It is the disease I have that has destroyed the vision in my left eye, and I would just bet that Lurgardis had this same disease. She was 64 when she died. It is interesting that she is a patron saint of blindness. I should remember to discuss my eyesight with her!
She deliberately refused to speak the French that was used among the Cistercians so that she could practice an extremely solitary and quiet life. She continued to receive visions of Christ and the saints.
She was one of the first saints to be devoted to the Sacred Heart of Jesus, and the first recorded mystical revelation of His heart was hers.
In the 13th Century, she was QUITE popular, and she is memorialized in art by several prestigious artists. There is a statue of her made by Matthias Braun, and she was painted by Goya. To this day she is revered as one of the more famous mystics of the 13th century.
Painting of Lutgardis by Goya
There are many more stories of the really remarkable mystical life of this unexpected saint, caught unawares by the grace of God, and I hope I have time to read more about her!
Less than two years after her death, a book was written about her by Thomas of Cantimpre, a Dominican friar and theologian.
Thomas Merton, one of my favorite contemplatives, wrote What Are these Wounds? The Life of a Cistercian Mystic: Saint Lutgarde of Aywieres (Bruce Publishing Company, 1950.)
This is one of the books on my Amazon wish list for books, which you can see:
HERE IS MY WISH LIST FOR BOOKS ON AMAZON
Today has not been terribly productive. I am having some side effects from the Covid 19 booster shot I received yesterday. All I have managed to do is fill out this year's paperwork for my apartment lease renewal, make my daily meal, and go to the bank and get a little grocery money. All of that is in addition to my study for today's saint of the day, etc.
I did spend a short time on Facebook where I wrote a little public service message about these infernal fake memes that attribute quotes to Pope Francis that are actually New Age messaging invented out of whole cloth by some scammer on the internet. People really need to get their quotes (and their facts) from reliable sources - and we all need to remember that just because it sounds good does not mean it is true!
Speaking of truth: I watched the "January 6th" hearing today and was surprised to learn that nearly every close advisor in the Trump administration told him that "the big lie" was, well... a big lie... and that there was no legal way to force Pence to throw out the electors chosen by the people. Even after the mob had started killing people and were chanting, "hang Mike Pence," with a gallows in the background to emphasize the point, Trump egged them on. Advisors begged him to stop the violence, but he refused. It is hard to believe that anyone supports him now, but they do. The world puzzles me. What can I say but please, rely on facts in all things. Rely on TRUTH.
Speaking of truth: I watched the "January 6th" hearing today and was surprised to learn that nearly every close advisor in the Trump administration told him that "the big lie" was, well... a big lie... and that there was no legal way to force Pence to throw out the electors chosen by the people. Even after the mob had started killing people and were chanting, "hang Mike Pence," with a gallows in the background to emphasize the point, Trump egged them on. Advisors begged him to stop the violence, but he refused. It is hard to believe that anyone supports him now, but they do. The world puzzles me. What can I say but please, rely on facts in all things. Rely on TRUTH.
May you all have a blessed day, and I hope my little blog post has given you something helpful.
May we all be blessed!
Silver Rose
Sannyasini Kaliprana
Sannyasini Kaliprana
Silver Cottage Hermitage
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