CORPORATE THINK IS TOXIC TO HUMANS

"Ghost Tree"

Copyright © 2020, Silver Parnell

All rights reserved.

Throughout my life, I have instinctively avoided interactions with large corporate structures, both at work and at home. Nearly all of my jobs, except for when I wrote for television, were in small businesses. Whenever I rented an apartment I tried to rent only from individuals who had a few properties. I did not want to become enmeshed in systems that I sensed weren't healthy.

The Hindus would say that my attraction to light and health was a natural orientation to the sattvic realms. Even though the salary and the benefits weren't quite as good as what the large businesses offered, I had a sense of dread when I contemplated working for big business.

In my youth, I could not have told you exactly why I was inclined in this direction, because it was an intuitive thing, but now that I've got a lot of years (and experiences) under my belt, I've realized just why.

The entire operating principles behind big business are calculated to maximize the most profits for the fewest people. These organizations rely upon being able to capitalize on the work of a large number of people in order to shove all the profit to the top handful of decision makers. Meanwhile, most of the wage earners barely make enough to put a roof over their heads and food on the table.

American corporations took their inspiration from a plantation mindset. It IS "the American way" to take advantage of people who lack resources by enslaving them in a system that capitalizes on their value and misappropriates it to the benefit of the tiny ruling class.

Even the customers or clients that these big organizations are supposed to be served are NOT served by them at all. Let me explain:

Because a corporation is an anonymous, faceless thing, it has no ethical restraints and no conscience. Employing tricks, such as 'bait and switch' and making clients 'buy a pig in a poke' because the business hasn't informed them of crucial facts surrounding their purchase of goods or services, is quite common. Because the dictum from on high is always to squeeze the most profits possible from the enterprise,the lengths to which these companies will go in meeting that guiding standard has no limits.

In small business, however, even if the paradigm is similar, the human being in charge of the place is usually visible, knowable, reachable, and can be reasoned with (theoretically.)

Unfortunately, corporation mind think has become so prevalent that it has become nearly impossible to operate in this culture without involving oneself in it. This week, I have had a number of run-ins with toxic corporate culture, and there is little to nothing that I can do about it.

I am an expert genealogist and have a family tree of more than 70,000 people in it. I have been working on it since 1978, and there are thousands of hard hours invested. There was no internet in 1978. In order to gather documents and photos, I had to pound the pavement, go to libraries, watch hours and hours of microfilm and microfiche, and physically get down into the work of digging out the facts behind ancestors lives.

Mistakenly, I believed that when the Mormon site "Family Search" said that by using their site, my tree would be "public," it meant the same thing that typically comes to mind, and the same thing that Ancestry.com means by the term. "Public," to me, meant that my tree would be viewed by the public. INSTEAD, this group of wackos has decided that "public" means that my tree belongs to them, that I can never remove it from their site, and that anyone and everyone who registers with them can make changes to the tree I spent YEARS creating.

"You AGREED that your tree was public," the woman intoned, in a smarmy, smug sort of monotone. I had clearly bought a pig in a poke. They had deliberately hidden the reality of the situation in a dense bit of legalese that even I, a person with years of experience in legal contracts, did not perceive. I tried to reason with the woman, but reason has no place in corporate mind control. The woman just kept repeating the same excuse. This is the way it is because we decided that this is the way it is.

I went to report them to the Better Business Bureau and discovered that the Mormon site "Family Search" ALREADY has an "F" rating because there have been at least three prior complaints about them, and the organization didn't even bother to ANSWER the complaints.

Corporations do not care about reputation. Corporations have no shame - even when that corporation is manned by people who claim to have an ethical life.

The Mormons used to have my respect. While I thought their theology was nutty, I appreciated that most of the Mormons I had met were very ethical and kind people. But even customarily good people are stripped of their ethical souls when they cooperate in the corporate mind.

I went ahead and filed a complaint with the Better Business Bureau, but I don't expect to prevail because the Mormons will likely just ignore my complaint, as they have ignored all the others. This type of business isn't regulated, and if you have a dispute about a contract, you basically have to sue the company. Who has the money for that?

The only thing I can do is something that will help other people, which is to warn everyone away from using that site.  Doing something that will inhibit their ability to con other people is the only thing that might have any effect on the corporate mind. In other words, only a threat to the underlying principle of maximizing profits might work to get them from sitting on me and impinging on my copyright.

I had an experience with Amazon that wasn't as personally devastating, but was still annoying, to say the least. I purchased an item on which they offered payments "once a month," but it wasn't until AFTER they had already shipped the item that they sent me an email outlining a payment schedule that was once every 30 days, so that the payment date shifted every month, from the 3rd, to the 2nd, to the 1st! Obviously, most months have 31 days - not 30. I get paid on the 3rd, so there is at least one month where my one and only check has to take a "hit" for two payments, rather than one.

The Amazon people were no more helpful than the Mormons. "This is the way it is because this is the way it is," is what one is ALWAYS told, in essence. The arbitrariness of the corporate mind can't be argued with - because it is NOT HUMAN. After I discontinued the "chat" with the Amazon agent, she went in and cancelled one of my OTHER orders, then sent me an email about that other order. I don't know if she did it in retaliation for my having been upset or what. I had to RE-order that item, then call the company AGAIN and speak to yet another agent. He wasn't able to change the payment program, but he did promise to report the previous agent, which doesn't actually help me at all.

Yesterday, I received a generic email from Consumer Cellular, a terrible telephone company that drops nearly every call I get, sends me my voice mail messages a MONTH after someone leaves one and produces text messages DAYS after they are sent by friends. The email advised me that the 3G phone I JUST purchased from them will no longer be able to be used because they are changing their service. Only 4G and 5G will be accommodated. They obviously knew this for a long time before I bought that phone from them, but they didn't advise me. NO SHAME.

I was already planning to go to T-Mobile, as my research had indicated that theirs was the most reliable service at my location, as soon as I got paid, so I spent a good 40 minutes setting up a new phone service, including a credit check and all that entails. It wasn't until the END of that long experience that the woman told me she was charging me $20.00 to set up my account and another $10.00 to pay for the SIM card. I told her I wasn't going to be activating my account for a week or 10 days. She indicated that as along as I activated within 14 days, I would be fine.

What happened? I got an email this morning from T-Mobile telling me that my account has been activated! It included information on how to get the phone up and working. I don't even have the SIM card yet! I had to call the company AGAIN and complain.

The reason why they activate your phone service before you are even able to USE it is so they can charge you for time that you don't use. Again - NO ETHICS.

In this case, I was able to get them to DE-activate the account until I decide to activate it. The agent, as is the case with SO many agents in these corporations, barely spoke English. Likely, she was sitting at a phone bank in some other country where labor is even cheaper than America. Every time she asked me a question, I would try to answer and she would interrupt me and start talking, even when she was asking me for information to verify my identity. Then, of course, she didn't hear my answer because she was too busy talking. Even after I asked her to stop and just let me answer her, she continued to do it. I think it may have something to do with a cultural difference in the pace of conversation.

On the other hand, I've noticed that Americans often can''t be bothered to wait for me to finish a sentence before they're talking over me. This happened when I called JoAnn Fabrics a couple days ago. When I objected, she said that there were only two people in the shop, and of course I understand this. When the underlying dictum is to squeeze as much money out of the business as is possible, there are never enough workers. Corporate mind requires that there never be enough employees to actually do the job well. Quality is always sacrificed when the corporate decree is operational.

In addition, the corporate conglomerate has formed into an interconnected thing. It forces consumers to continue to "upgrade" their services and equipment because they make it mandatory in order for the customer to FUNCTION. For example, I purchased some Rit Dye from JoAnn Fabrics online web page for a clothing project a few months ago. The sale price was only good for a "pick up" order, so after I ordered and paid for the dye, I called the store to make sure it was ready for me before I trekked all the way out there [My disabilities make it extremely difficult for me to get out and about. Energy has to be conserved.]

In the course of the conversation, the JoAnn employee informed me that they would NOT release my purchases to me because, even though I have several forms of picture identification, including a current New Mexico Drivers License, as well as a PASSPORT, they would only let me have my purchases if I presented them with a copy of the email they sent me confirming my purchase. Since I had neither a cell phone nor a printer at that time, I could not show them the email on my phone, and I could not print it out either! Nor would they give me my money back! I had to wait 4 days until the temporary hold for the funds had dropped off my bank's radar, after which I could not find that color of dye ANYWHERE. Every once in a while, I check around to see if I can find it, with no luck.

Before the internet, I used to be able to call a store, find out if they had an item, have the proprietor hold the item for me, and go in and get it.

The corporate mind typically ignores what the client may want or need. Arbitrary changes to the Facebook platform and now Google Blogger have me tearing out my hair. BOTH of these companies have decided to fiddle with their platform, making changes that none of us really wants. It appears that they have changed it to be more like all the other sites that cater to people who bury their noses in their phones all day.

Before long, none but the most talented computer geek will be able to make sense out of the internet or use it for anything but the most basic search functions geared toward leading people to corporations that want to sell us stuff.

I would say that we should fight the corporate mind, but I don't know how one could do that, aside from maintaining mindfulness and taking proper care of our mental hygiene. I am just going to try not to use corporate services any more than I have to - but what can I do? I am disabled and mostly home bound. I need a phone. I need to order groceries and other necessaries to be delivered to me. Everywhere I turn, I am being forced into service to the corporate mind after a lifetime of avoiding it.

The changes to this platform - "Blogger" - will force me to use it less and less. The changes to Facebook will likewise repel me. While I have enjoyed making contact with a wider group of people throughout the world, I am afraid that it is becoming so klunky and difficult to navigate that it is no longer something I want to do, since I am not interested in being one of those people whose nose is always pressed against my telephone screen.

This reminds me of something that happened during my last surgery at University of New Mexico Hospital. I WOKE UP DURING SURGERY to find that the anesthesiologist was reading his email. I told him, "Hey! I'm awake! Get off your phone and put me back to sleep!" Without even looking at me or moving his face away from his phone, he extended his hand to a lever somewhere out of my sight, and I went under again.

Years from now, when history books recount about how the internet got broken, something about the corporate mind will be blamed.

I remember now how very happy I was when I joined the Vedanta Convent and only had 3 keys on my key ring. I didn't have to pay any bills. I didn't have to own a car. We had two of them in the garage. The downside of being independent is wrestling with the corporate mind and being enslaved to it, due to the necessities of disabilities. Every state of life has a price.

God bless us all.

Silver "Rose" Parnell
(Sannyasini Kaliprana)

Copyright © 2020, Silver Parnell
All rights reserved.

GOOD TROUBLE HAS CONSEQUENCES

In the background of all my days is the Covid-19 pandemic, but that isn't the first thing I think of when I wake up. I think of the nutty, conspiracy theory fueled, abusive authoritarian regime that has captured our government. It has scary implications for a poor disabled old lady who is going blind and has no power, except the power of my mind and my prayers....which is not "my" power at all, but the power of The Divine.

Hitler had his brown shirts. Trump has his white supremacists, Boogaloo Bois, neo-Nazis, Q-Anon conspiracy theorists, and pseudo militia men, tricked out in full camo and loaded assault rifles, who are now taking the law into their own hands and are murdering citizens who have the gall to protest the killings of black citizens by a trigger-happy, militarized police force.

The dangerously escalating situation started when a black man, George Floyd, was murdered by four policemen in broad daylight, on a city street, in full view of many witnesses, and memorialized by several videos.

While the prone, defenseless, unarmed and restrained citizen pleaded that he could not breathe and begged for his mother, one of the police officers, the murderer, pressed his knee into George Floyd's neck while the other police held him down. Onlookers can be heard on the videotape, trying to intervene, but the police officers spent a good six minutes strangling him. The cold, bloodless look on the face of the murderer is eerie.

Protests started to break out in response. It certainly wasn't the first black American to be murdered by police, but enough people had finally had enough of this travesty that they were willing to risk their own lives to protest with an eye to change.

The response of Trump, the police and the right wing "law and order" crowd was to kill more people and assault the peaceful protesters with gas, rubber bullets, and clubs.

Online, the right wing was complaining, not about the citizens who had been murdered in the street by the police that were supposed to protect them, but the tiny percentage of looting and violence that was occurring. This is typical of the alt right talking heads. They ignore the main issue and get it lost in the weeds of much less evident side issues. This is how the conspiracy theorists operate, as well. If they can find ONE instance of something happening, they blow it up to such an extent that, in their minds, at least, it becomes true for a massive number of people. It isn't truth, but they don't care about truth. They care about force and punishment, even if they have to manufacture an issue that they can then stomp on.

The response of Trump's administration and the right wing lie machine was to (1) express outrage against the protesters instead of the police who murder citizens on the street; and (2) express approval and encouragement for armed white supremacists to take the law into their own hands and come to the protests with loaded weapons to, supposedly, "protect property," but all I saw were pitched battles between them and protesters, initiated by the quasi-military goons who had taken it upon themselves to establish "law and order."

The response of the police was to (1) kill MORE black citizens; and (2) collude with the white supremacists so they would come in large numbers, bristling with weapons.

The protesters, seeing that there was no attempt to address the issues of racism and human rights abuses, but that, instead, the establishment had doubled-down, became enraged. (Who could blame them?)

Most recently, part of a group of white supremacists, a 17 year-old proudly came to a protest with an assault rifle and killed two protesters, after which he approached the police, who basically patted him on the head and sent him home. (You can well imagine if the kid had been black and had approached the police with an AR-15 slung around his neck, after killing two citizens. They would have shot him dead where he stood.)

Shortly thereafter, police can be heard thanking the armed civilians for coming out that night.

There is video and audio of all of this, and I have seen most of it.

Witnessing some of the recent murders of citizens by police, vis-a-vis video and audio tape taken by bystanders with their cell phones, had actually made me sick to my stomach.

The pandemic, a despotic fascist dictatorship, and the string of abuses against people of color, women, minorities, disabled folk, seniors, and anyone deemed too "different" to be allowed to live, is horrifying. This is not the America that the world has counted on to do the right thing. Starting with the kidnap and incarceration of babies and children at the border, we became the bad guys. I have cried every day since this started.

I have always been nonviolent. I have subscribed to Martin Luther King Jr.'s philosophy of nonviolent protest and resistance since I was a little girl. In response to the blood bath on the Edmund Pettus Bridge in which John Lewis, of blessed memory, was savaged and nearly killed, I participated in a protest march in the streets of Carmel, California. But now, since becoming old, disabled and nearly blind, I can't even do that. All I can do is meditate, pray and advise.

I admit that I sometimes feel demoralized and overwhelmed by the sheer volume of amoral, abusive language spewing out of Trump, but when I put my mind at the feet of the Lord, the way is clear. I have to continue to advocate for the vulnerable and the weak, even though I myself belong to those categories.

In Proverbs, there is a commandment to kings which I believe Jesus would agree that we follow:

Open your mouth for the dumb,

for the rights of all the unfortunate.

Open your mouth, judge righteously,

and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy.

~ Proverb 31:8

Although I have not taken to the streets to protest, I have suffered reprisals for my words of protest. I used to have supporters, in my parish and here, online, who were helping me with small gifts and gestures of kindness. One of them bought me a reclining chair when mine broke, so that I would have something on which to sleep. (I can't sleep lying down.) Another gave me a couch she had inherited. A group of them took me to lunch or tea on my birthday - but because I advocate for the weak, the vulnerable and the marginalized, and because I call out Trump and the lies of the right wing, they all, (except one) called me "hateful" and shunned me. They blocked me on Facebook and never spoke to me again.

The last time I was able to go to church and actually sit through mass, I happened to encounter one of them in the hallway. She glowered at me ferociously, lifted her nose in the air, turned her back to me, and stomped out the door.

Another supporter, a woman in IRELAND, of all places, had somehow become a Trump enthusiast. She had been trying to help me find a decent place to live that would be helpful when I lose more of my vision, but she also sent me an angry screed.

The assistance of my "Christian" family has always been welcome, especially since my father's will had been changed after he got dementia, and I was written out. (Typical family greed. He subsequently died under very suspicious circumstances, and I didn't know he had passed away until his body had been cremated, destroying the evidence.)

It is ironic that I left the Hindu convent because of the lack of love exhibited by the people in that faith, only to find that Christians are, for the most part, no better. Just because they claim to follow the God of love, doesn't mean they actually DO. A good portion of them don't even advocate for Christian love and fellow-feeling, opting instead for the dark side of resentment, grievances, force and punishment. The few who actually follow Christ are a beacon of light to me, and I thank God for them daily.

I mention all of this because I want you all to know that there is a cost to advocating for truth and justice! I am not just "blowing hot air" because the internet enables me and it is therefore easy to get my opinion published. I have suffered and continue to suffer retaliation for my advocacy - so when I ask you to do the same, you understand that I am also paying a high price.

I offer up my prayers today for all who need them, especially for the black community that has endured so much for so many years, and I pray that they continue to protest without undertaking violence. I recommend the same to the rest of you, as well.

May God bless you all.

Silver Parnell
(Sannyasini Kaliprana)
Copyright © 2020 Silver Parnell
All rights reserved.

THE SUN STILL SHINES

"Rainbow in the Trees"

Photo taken by Silver Parnell

Copyright © 2020, all rights reserved

The real advantage of having had a wonderful spiritual teacher in one's life is that, if you've spent enough time with them, you can pretty much anticipate what their advice would be, even if they've died long ago.

My teacher, who was somewhat of a father to me, would brush off the recent political news. He would say that history is like this and that men have always broken laws and subjected people to tyrannical rule. The overbearing cruelty that is common with dictators isn't unique to Trump. Few people will escape. Once we have done what we can do, spiritual life remains the same. "Meditation, prayer, eating and drinking - all of these things still go on," he would say.

He was a practical man and, during this difficult time, I appreciate his practical example more than ever. Every day, he stuck to the same schedule, no matter what was going on around him. To be clear, he did have a lot of people attending to his needs. I don't think he ever had do any manual work like cleaning his own room or cooking a meal. But no matter how he was feeling, he stuck to his meditation and prayer routines. He attended the expected events, no matter how bored he might be by them or how pathetic was our rendering of the Sanskrit chants. (It must have sounded harsh and grating to his ear.)

It is both soothing and inspiring to conjure up Swami Swahananda in my mind and have a virtual conversation with him about the dictator that has suddenly come to power in my country and how this has affected me and most of my friends, as well as all the other difficulties that have arisen with my disabilities, chronic pain and looming blindness. I can feel the tension melt away, and it is much easier to just stick to my schedule, as much as I have one, and proceed.

Between this post and the last one, I have gained and lost another attendant. This one, although her work was excellent, was socializing in groups of hundreds of people in close quarters without masks. She belongs to a local big box protestant prosperity-gospel church where most of the people don't practice good Covid hygiene because they mistakenly believe that, because they are very good Christians, the Lord is going to protect them and He won't let them get sick with the virus. So, hundreds of people gather on Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights, in close quarters, doing everything we are told NOT to do.

The agency that provided this woman immediately understood my concern and, in fact, they told me that, with the exception of people who had hired relatives to care for them, none of their other clients were availing themselves of their services during the pandemic. I resolved that I would try to also avoid it as long as possible. My apartment may be in chaos, but at least I will probably live to see the day when the virus is more under control.

In the meantime, meditation, prayer, eating and sleeping all go on.

Silver Parnell
(Sannyasini Kaliprana)
Copyright © 2020, All rights reserved

P.S. Getting food into the house is still an issue. Please do what you can to help. Amazon has my address and will mail to me directly. JUST CLICK THIS LINK FOR MY AMAZON WISH LIST

IF TRUMP GETS ANOTHER TERM, I MAY BECOME HOMELESS

Although I have worked for more than 30 years, and paid into Social Security through my employers AND my employers have matched my payments with payments of their own, I just found out from prominent professional historian Heather Cox Richardson that Trump's continuation of his "payroll tax cut" will eliminate my Social Security income by mid 2023...less than three years from now.

She cites the data of Chief Social Security Actuary Stephen C. Goss who "crunched the numbers" of Trump's payroll tax cut scheme and discovered that Trump's plan would end Disability Insurance in mid 2021 - a year from now - and Social Security by mid-2023 - which is three years from now. Social Security will be gone ENTIRELY.

The payroll taxes Trump wants to cut are the taxes that provide the money that funds Social Security and Disability insurance. DON'T KID YOURSELF that it will only cut it back a little bit or that it "wont be that bad." Social Security will be dead and gone in 2023 if Trump has his way, and seniors living on their Social Security insurance payments will have no income at all.

For information about the Chief Social Security Actuary, his bona fides, responsibilities and other descriptions of his functions at the Social Security Administration,

see: THIS WEB PAGE

I have multiple physical illnesses and syndromes that affect my ability to walk and to stand. I am also going blind and have lost most of the vision in my left eye already. I have no family in my life, to speak of, except for some distant cousins I found through my genealogy research. My only income is Social Security insurance, into which I paid for more than 30 years.  If I were to lose it, I really don't know where I could live. I represent a large demographic of seniors.

Because of my meditation and other spiritual disciplines, I'll probably get through this final phase of my life without going mad, but I still don't know if I could survive any homelessness at this late stage, with as many physical disabilities as I've been dealt.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING, and the reason why I write blogs like this one, is to inform the public about what is happening to a broad swath of American citizens. There are millions of seniors in the same or similar situation  as I am - relying completely upon their Social Security insurance payments in order to survive. Some may have relatives with whom they can live - but many DON'T. Even if a relative could take them in, most people don't have an extra bedroom. Grandma might have to camp out on the couch. And who can afford to absorb all of the living expenses, food, medicine and medical bills, for another adult person?

After a lifetime of being contributing members of society, dumping America's seniors on the street isn't a fitting reward.

Donald Trump was handed a thriving economy that was on the upswing, but like all the businesses that he drove into the ground and bankrupted, he has destroyed our economy by his refusal to address the pandemic, claiming that it was a "Democrat Hoax" because they were "overreacting" in order to make him look bad. For the longest time, he mischaracterized it. He called it a "flu." He said it would disappear, "like a miracle." He said that the warm weather of summer would kill it. He posited that ultra violet light somehow inserted in the body would kill it. At one point, swallowing bleach was his thing. Recently, he lauded a woman peddling discredited cures with a malaria medication - the same woman who can be seen in numerous videos, screeching at crowds inside carnival-style tents, that illness is caused by having sex with demons in your sleep!

Before Obama left office, he had created a pandemic response team and protocols. Experts had warned that a pandemic was on its way, so the Obama administration put all these things in place. They tried to brief Trump but he wasn't interested. Instead, he disbanded the pandemic response team and the measures that had been put in place.

Even before the virus hit our shores, Trump's tax cuts for the wealthy increased the income disparity gap that already rivaled the worst third-world dictatorships. Although promising to protect Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid, his administration has continually attempted to make cuts while hacking away at the Affordable Care Act - continuing to do so, even in the midst of the pandemic!

When he was in business, Trump was famous for cheating "the little guy." All these subcontractors would do the actual work of building some luxury resort or golf course or hotel, and he would just refuse to pay them. They'd have to sue him, but he would sell the building or resort and then declare bankruptcy of the business through which he operated to build it. The working man and woman have always been used by Trump to further enrich himself undeservedly. He is still doing it, though on a larger stage.

The question to ask yourself after reading this is whether or not you'd be happy to have millions of grandmas and grandpas living on the street so that Trump and the other one-percenters can become more wealthy. Also, do you ever plan to retire? What would YOU do without any income from Social Security when you retire or, God forbid, become disabled?

If we don't vote Trump out of office, life for grandma and grandpa is going to be more grim than it already is. Please don't let that happen. Vote for Joe Biden. He is not perfect. No one is. But at least he doesn't want to kill grandma and grandpa. That's a good start.

If, after reading this, you discount the estimation of the Chief Actuary of Social Security, please tell me who it is you believe would have better information about Social Security than HE does.

While deciding, may you all be blessed.

Silver Parnell
(Sannyasini Kaliprana)
Copyright © 2020 Silver Samantha Parnell
All rights reserved.

LYING IS MORE DIFFICULT IN THE ERA OF COMPUTERS AND CELL PHONES

Last night, after writing my diary entry for the day, I received an email from the housekeeper who had not shown up. She claimed to have had a car accident on the way to my house and that she couldn't call me because she left her phone in the car and her son couldn't get to it...blah blah blah.

Oh, and by the way, her doctors want her to take a few days off.

First of all, all she had to do was have someone look up the phone number of the agency on the nearest computer or phone and then call them. She didn't need her phone to do it. Information is everywhere in the era of the internet.

Secondly, I remember her telling me that her daughter was due to have a baby any day, and I am willing to bet the $24 left in my bank account that the baby was born, or she had an accident because she was drunk (she was slurring her words when we spoke on Sunday), or - most likely, she found an agency that paid more money and she couldn't call during that entire day because she was working SOMEWHERE ELSE!

I wanted to give her a chance to prove me wrong, so I told her I would believe her if she provided me with a doctors note, in response to which she gave me some word salad that conveyed no information and ignored the request for a doctor's note:

"My employer was the first to know and the baby wasn't born thank you."

The agency tells me they didn't speak to her. There is no doctor letter, and they don't expect one. They won't be using her again, and she won't get a recommendation from them.

This reminds me of the numerous times in the last 5 or 10 years that someone has told me, "I tried to reach you, but you didn't answer the phone," and there is no record of receiving a phone call from them. Somehow, dishonest people "forget" that cell phones keep track of every bit of data going in and out over the airwaves. Whoever calls me, whether I speak to them or not, there is a record of that call.

Just yesterday, a service person claimed to have called me, but they didn't leave a phone message and there is no record of them calling me in my phone history. Why didn't they leave a message, if they were truly "trying to reach" me? Because they did not "try to reach me" at all. They were lying.

Lying has become a habit, but a dangerous one, if you care about your immortal soul, as some religous people claim.

"You are of your father the devil, and you want to 

do the desires of your father. He was a murderer 

from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth

because there is no truth in him. Whenever he speaks

a lie, he speaks from his own nature, for he is a liar

and the father of lies."

~ John 8:44

Another housekeeper has shown up and is now, at the moment I type this, working diligently on cleaning the kitchen and doing the dishes. She had to get here on the bus, but fortunately she doesn't live far from me.

When I told the new housekeeper about the gal that didn't show up yesterday, after telling me how devoted she was to her clients and how she was available to them "24/7" she piped up and said, "which means 'I won't be seein' ya." THIS gal has potential.

Silver Rose
(Sannyasini Kaliprana)
Copyright © 2020, Silver S. Parnell, All rights reserved.

THE INMATES HAVE TAKEN OVER THE MENTAL INSTITUTION

Last night, I had a lovely 20 minute telephone conversation with a woman who was hired by my home health agency to come and take care of me, do my dishes, a little laundry, and whatever else I need done in the house. I have multiple physical disabilities and I am going blind. I've already lost most of the functional sight in my left eye. It is becoming difficult to function.

It delighted me to speak to this nice lady who talked about her devotion to her clients and how she is really available "24/7" whenever they need her and that I can call her any time if I need help. After telling her how thrilled I was to be having her come to help me, we completed the call and I went to bed feeling great relief that, finally, someone would pick up where the last homemaker left off - you know, the one who got into my pain pills, stole a bunch of things and lied constantly?

This morning, I "hurried"around getting the apartment ready for a new person to come in, making sure there was enough room for her to park in the assigned spot, and generally just making sure that when she walked in the door she wouldn't be overwhelmed.

I sent her a text message at about 10:40, with a picture of the parking spot, and my car right next to it, and I waited.

She never showed up. She didn't call. She didn't answer my phone calls or messages, nor did she call the agency or pick up the phone when the agency called HER. Nothing.

While I was waiting for this woman, I opened up a package of face shields, intending to put them together and have them available for us both to use. Although I had purchased them on Amazon, and they were supposed to be new, they were both badly damaged, and one of them was missing the film that is designed to be peeled off, prior to use. I'd paid $14.00 for two pieces of junk. CLEARLY, I had fallen into a Covid price-gouging scam. The Amazon agent I spoke to when I contacted them to complain had seen this before. We discussed how people are using the world-wide pandemic to enrich themselves.

Later in the day, I picked up some food from a restaurant - a celebration, because today is my birthday. I RARELY buy ready-made food. The man came out of the shop and he wasn't wearing a mask. After all the effort of ordering "contactless" pick-up, he had done nothing to ensure my safety. I'd already paid a tip when I ordered online. I suppose that's all that mattered to him.

Nursing a stomach ache from having eaten abnormally rich food, I watched "Democracy Now" on PBS and was horrified to learn just how much traction Q-Anon has made in the Republican Party. I watched a video in which Trump was asked about them and all he could say was that he heard that they like him very much. (He said it twice.)  He would not disavow their bizarre fantasies. After all, saving the world from devil worshippers, fictional democrat pedophiles and demons was a good thing, right?

What are we talking about? Somebody who styled himself as "Q-Anon" started putting inane cartoonish messages out onto the internet about 3 years ago. He/she claims to be a higher-up in the Trump administration and says he is working with Donald Trump to fight an imaginary Democrat cabal of DEMONS AND DEVIL WORSHIPPERS who they say run a pedophilia ring with the intention of ruling the world. They worship Satan and they eat babies after they molest them, and then they also sell them....and that's not even the wackiest part of the story. Read up about them. I just can't bear it.

[Personally, the whole thing sounds like something out of the feverish mind of an adolescent computer geek who isn't too popular in school, and I am willing to bet that this description is more accurate than the supposed "higher up" in the Trump administration that is supposedly "Q-Anon."]

There is a lot more crazy to be had out of this bunch of fantasists but the really surprising aspect of this is that the Republican Party - a portion of it - has taken on this conspiracy theory and there are more than 20 legislators who are believers! The state of Georgia just nominated an out-and-proud Q-Anon supporter, to the 14th Congressional District: Marjorie Taylor Greene, who has a reputation for blatantly racist comments in the past.

Oregon Republicans have also nominated a Q-Anon advocate to the Senate: Joe Rae Perkins.

The list goes on. If you're not familiar with any of this, research it. It beggars belief.

Previously, I would give you a host of links, which took forever, and I can no longer afford the time, as it was eating into my spiritual disciplines and my creative endeavors. Let me just assure you that this is an extremely important turn of events that should form part of your understanding of our current situation. Dig into it.

We are seeing a disturbing number of people who are becoming unbalanced as a result of this insanity. Having Donald Trump at the top of the heap was bad enough - but you must understand that he is just a symptom and a mouthpiece. Donald Trump was formed by a combination of these kooks and Fox "News". Now, this insane Q-Anon movement has infiltrated the halls of government and is toxic enough to topple America into the dustbin of history.

UPDATE: Thinking I was finished with today dose of disaster, I published this diary entry. Then I read an article about that Republican couple that stood outside their house and pointed guns at protesters as they passed by on their way to the mayor's house. Evidently, they are terrible bullies and have wreaked vengeance against the Jewish synagogue that shares their property line. The synagogue had just established a series of bee hives at the fence line, to make their own honey for one of their religious holidays. Mark McCloskey, in the middle of the night, without warning or discussion, took an axe to the hives and somehow killed all the bees. He left a note that if the detritus wasn't moved immediately, he and his wife Patricia would sue the synagogue.

Evidently, the fence was 6 inches over their property line. SIX INCHES. The little Jewish children cried when they learned of the destruction. The Rabbi reports that this act of bullying is not the first. They would have been more than happy to move the hives if the McCloskey's had communicated with them. These vile people, these bullies, will be speaking during the Republican National Convention.

It doesn't surprise me that people like the McCloskeys will be celebrated by the Trumpian Party, formerly the Republican Party, because it has become the party of hate, bigotry, and bullying. The preferred method for nearly every issue is FORCE AND PUNISHMENT. At the same time, these people loudly assert a type of Christianity that would make Jesus weep. This is not what He had in mind. NONE of this is what He had in mind.

Can you imagine what Jesus would say if you walked up to Him and told him that you've broken up families and incarcerated the babies behind barbed wire, to sleep on cement floors, under mylar-coated pieces of paper, without any reliable means of reuniting the families? Bullying, bigotry, force and punishment are not worthy of the humble man called Jesus, the man of Love and peace.

I think about the babies every day. Their contorted faces, wet with tears, haunt my every nightmare. Every morning I wake up thinking about them. I can hear them from the videotapes I have watched. "Mommy! Poppy!" The piteous shrieks make my heart ache. I can feel their terror and emotional pain. Psychologists have confirmed that what they have been made to endure by the Trump administration is equivalent to the worst psychological TORTURE.

Later, I happened to see yet another unarmed black man, shot in the back by police officers. Nothing has changed since BLACK LIVES MATTER became a thing. Almost every night there is a new videotape of an unarmed, defenseless man being killed by the police. Tonight, they put seven bullets into the man's back while his three little children watched. He was leaning into the car where they were all sitting. So close, they could smell the blood and the gunpowder.

Every day is some fresh new hell. Every. Damn. DAY.

Voting will not be enough to fix this problem that we have in this country. What do we do about a country that has lionized individuality to such an extent that we have become soulless, selfish MONSTERS? What do we do?

Being disabled, mobility challenged, poor, half blind - I have no power to fix this AT ALL. I can pray. Of course I can pray. And I can meditate to maintain my own inner peace and equilibrium. But how do we pull our country out of this terrible black hole into which we have plummeted?

I suspect that, in the rise and fall of civilizations, this is our fall...and there is no coming back from it. If I had the money, I would move to another country - a kinder country - perhaps Canada. Sometimes I fantasize about going "back" to where my family originally came from - Wales or Ireland or Scotland or Cornwall. I mull over the idea of learning Irish or Welsh. To which country will I return when I suddenly have money to spend and my body is suddenly healthy again? Obviously, I have a strong fantasy life. In reality, I am stuck here, in a country ruled by animalistic heathen bastards.

But it is also full of blessed, loving, lovable and truly gentle souls. We must band together...if for nothing other than our shared mental health and wellbeing.

The most important thing I want to suggest to you is that you redouble your spiritual efforts in order to stay sane, stay balanced, and stay in tune with the Divine. If you'd like to connect with other SANE SPIRITUAL PEOPLE, contact me on my Facebook page:

FOLLOW THIS LINK TO MY FACEBOOK

In the meantime, God bless you and keep you.

Silver Rose
Sannyasini Kaliprana

UNSOLICITED ADVICE

There is nothing that throws a cold wet blanket on a relationship like unsolicited advice when a little empathy and sympathy are all that are called for.

This is never more evident than on social media, especially with people with whom you are less well acquainted than would be ideal. Let us say that you've had a bad day or something unfortunate is occurring, and you post an oblique mention on Facebook among your friends. There is always at least one person who, without benefit of knowing any of the underlying facts, just jumps right in and does a cursory Google search and then throws a website link at you or, more commonly, they will dispense low-grade, unimaginative BASIC directions that only a truly dull person would not have already thought to do.

She knows next to nothing about the situation and, though you haven't asked for advice or recommendations, this person is going to give you elementary instructions, by golly, whether you like it or not, and when you tell her that you aren't in need of her sage advice, she informs you that simply by posting anything on Facebook, you are asking for advice. Of course, this is not true. Posting on Facebook does not constitute permission for random people to talk down to you vis-a-vis ridiculously juvenile advice. Fortunately, there is a block function, and you can get rid of these socially inept neanderthals when they refuse to stop gracing you with their fabulous prescriptions.

After my latest experience with a woman who tried to force her advice on me, despite my request that she stop, I was moved to write a blog about communication. Clearly, it is needed, though I doubt the people who need it the most will read this, but perhaps if the rest of us raise the tone of social media through treating each other with greater respect and love, those other people who are addicted to the sound of their own voices will pick up some of these habits by osmosis. A rising tide raises all boats.

The great thing about a blog is that, although it is often a type of 'advice,' it is a passive platform for it. It isn't targeted to any one individual. It doesn't humiliate individuals in public in the way that a Facebook post will do. If someone reads this blog, or any blog, they're free to take any "advice" they feel might relate to them,  without having to feel that they have been flagged in public.

So what should you do instead of forcing unsolicited advice on others? If you truly want to "help someone" (as many advice-givers claim) then take the time to get an accurate picture of the problem, but first ask the person if they want your help. If it is a personal matter, don't be surprised if they decide not to share with you. If they're not comfortable sharing the details with you, then they're sure not going to be comfortable listening to your advice. Offer, instead, emotional support. something along the lines of;

"I'm sorry you're going through a rough patch right now. Let me know if you ever want to talk."

If you DO get their agreement, ask some fact finding questions that will give you the back story. Ask the person what they've done to rectify the situation and ask them what result they would like to have happen. Ask an open question such as, "is there anything else you want to tell me about this situation?"

At that point, if you feel you may have some ideas that might help, ask the person, "can I run some ideas by you?" If they say "yes" then phrase your ideas gently. Don't tell them what to do. Ask them. For instance, "how would you feel about doing ______(x)_______" OR "Have you thought about doing ________(x)___________."

This is a format for phrasing your questions in a respectful manner that invites permission, rather than trying to force it.

Be prepared for the person to reject your ideas. They do not owe it to you to explain why your ideas for them do not work for them. It may look to you as if the person is just being negative or that they are standing in their own way or even causing their own problems. That could be true or it also could be true that you are failing to understand this person's point of view. No matter how self-reflective a person is, it is often difficult to convey an individual's perspective to another person who doesn't live inside their head, and they simply don't have the language to articulate it.

The entire world is not crying out for our opinions, as much as some might feel otherwise. It is far more crucial to give love, affection, sympathy and warmth than it could ever be for your unsolicited advice.

Just to be clear, solicited advice is when an individual agrees that they specifically want your advice in particular. It doesn't count if someone has mentioned a problem in a Facebook post UNLESS that post distinctly ASKS for advice or recommendations. Posting a lament is not permission.

If you haven't asked the receiver if they want your advice, anything and everything you might offer as a solution is unsolicited and therefore useless.

If it sounds like compassion takes a lot of time and a lot of work - it DOES! If you can't give the time, don't offer your services.

Finally, I would ask you to examine your motives. Why is it your first instinct to try and control the actions, thoughts or words of another person instead of offering sympathy, love and emotional support? Does this person's situation actually annoy you, and you want to shut them up by offering a fast fix so you can make a hasty exit? Do you feel judgmental or critical about the person and think, perhaps, they cause their own problems?  Do you feel uncomfortable with the personal information that they've revealed about themselves? Get yourself sorted out FIRST. YOU might be the one that needs fixing - in the way of an attitude adjustment. Or perhaps you just need a script - something to say that conveys compassion but that doesn't require you to have an hours-long conversation you don't have the time to start?

"I'm sorry to hear this. Do you need to talk about it?" is a good place to start. If you don't have time at the moment, then also say something like, "I've got to run out now, but I have some time on Friday. Can we chat on a private message?" If you DON'T have any real interest in the person, then you can simply say "I'm sorry to hear this. May I pray for you?" [Or whatever your version is.] You get the idea.

You aren't expected to be available to every person you run into on social media. You don't HAVE to fix every squeaky wheel, and it is understood that we all have a finite number of minutes we can afford to devote to noodling around on Facebook.

MOST of us have, on occasion, had to throttle back the tendency to opine about what OTHER people should do.  I've done it, in the past, and I continue to try to be better about this and put a lid on this bad habit.  Every year I try to be better, show more love, and to be more respectful and receptive to the needs of suffering people. I offer this blog in that spirit, so that we can all travel together toward love, in love.

God bless you all.

Silver Rose
Sannyasini Kaliprana

NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED

How do you follow the dictates of Christ and love the neighbor who steals from you and lies to you without becoming a doormat and encouraging more of the same?

The answer to that question is that it's the wrong question.

It's the wrong question because it assumes a causal relationship between facts. The truth is that we have no power to cause another person to act differently, to be better. We can only make sure we leave a path open for a change of heart, while protecting ourselves as much as possible without putting up so many walls we impede the possibility of repentance.

This topic has been circulating in my mind because I have had to fire the young housekeeper (the daughter of a friend of mine) after only a couple of weeks of work.  Because of my growing inabilities, due to physical issues, I really need someone to do the cleaning and garbage duty. Medicaid approved me for a special Medicaid program that would pay for a housekeeper to take care of the things at home that I am not able to do on a regular basis JUST before the Covid virus shut us all down.

Knowing her family and hoping to help them get through a hard time while also helping myself, I hired the girl who had just graduated college but had lost her restaurant job.

My experiences with this girl were nightmarish and bizarre.  After all of the incomprehensible, crazy-making weird things she did, ultimately it only mattered that she did the two things I can't abide because, while I can tolerate and work with someone of limited skill or a mind that has trouble processing information, I can't tolerate stealing and lies, which is what she did. And she lied in a way that, if I were to even pretend to believe her, I would have to deny the reality of my own eyes and ears.

[PLEASE NOTE: In a recent conversation, subsequent to the initial publication of this post, the ersatz step-father of this girl has stated unequivocally that she did not steal anything and she is not a thief.  "Someone else" is responsible, according to him, even though I have told him that no one else came into my apartment to do this. Whether she took these items, intending to steal, or she destroyed them and hid the evidence, the result is the same - ESPECIALLY since she is lying about all of it. I told her that if she accidently broke something, she wouldn't be punished. No one has to indemnify their work to be free of all accidents and mistakes - but she stuck to the lies. She has no idea what happened to these items, according to her.]

A really alarming incident happened when she was tasked with watering the 8 potted plants I have outside my patio. As with all projects, I asked her if she would like to do this, and she said "yes," so I showed her where the hose was curled on the patio and told her where to turn on the water around the corner. I heard her turn on the water, but when I checked her work later ALL of the potted plants were dry as a bone, the bird bath was empty, there was no trace of water in the dirt or on the patio, and the hose had CLEARLY not moved from where it had been curled for the last week.

The dirt and dust that had accumulated around the curls of the hose had not been disturbed. The hose was bone dry. The patio, where the hose typically leaks, was bone dry. The plants were bone dry. The bird bath was bone dry. I thought I was in a Felini film. It was just bizarre.

I wondered if the girl was on drugs or was she insane? Did she IMAGINE that she had watered the plants, when all she had actually done was turn on the water to the hose? I wondered if she thought that the water would magically be transported THROUGH THE AIR to the plants, or was she just piddling around, goofing off and distracted? Did she imagine that there was some kind of underground watering system? I had to question her about her method.

When I asked her why the plants were dry, she said that she just waters the roots - like her mother does. I said, "Okay, but how did you water them? Did you pick up the hose?" She said YES, that she HAD! I asked her which setting she used on the nozzle, and she claimed to use the one that was already there! What the heck????

I was stunned. This girl was resolutely spinning a fantastic yarn, while all visible evidence screamed that she was lying.  [This would later turn out to be her typical modus operandi. I would explain a job, set her loose, ask her if it had been done, she would say "yes," but when I checked on it later, it was NOT DONE! Sometimes she had done the OPPOSITE of what she'd been instructed to do. More about that later.]

My stress level ratcheted up considerably. I had hired the daughter of a friend who proceeded to do extremely outlandish things, but I didn't feel I could fire her so soon after engaging her services. The girl had told me several times that her wages were going toward the rent on her family's apartment, and I KNOW that things are "tight" for them because the mother got fired a few months ago, the step-father figure has a career that relies upon projects that come and go. The Covid-19 virus has depressed the economy to the point where these kind of jobs are much less frequent. They were grappling with some serious survival issues. I had originally hired her, thinking it would be helpful to all of us, but I had unknowingly  been saddled with...what? A crazy person? A drug addictd? What?

I can't tell you why she didn't water the plants. Perhaps she thought that I wouldn't check on her. Or maybe she just forgot that there was a REASON she had turned the water on at the spigot. She forgot many crucial aspects of jobs that remained half done that she later told me were "details" she could not remember, in a manner that communicated that remembering the "details" of following through with a task may not be worthy of her attention.

I told her many times that, while I appreciate the fact that she is probably too intelligent to do this kind of work, I still, nonetheless, needed her to focus, pay attention, and complete the tasks assigned.

Throughout her time with me, she was incapable of anticipating a need or the obvious steps to finishing any assignment. She would either not finish a project or she would do the opposite of what I had instructed her to do. For instance, when she asked me if I wanted my pants hung up or put in the dryer, I told her to hang them up and showed her how I like it done, but after she had left on her last day with me, I found my pants in the dryer, shrunk beyond recognition and completely ruined. Later, I realized she'd also shrunk a favorite Lands End sweater to the point that the "long" sleeves now ended at my ELBOWS. Obviously, I had to throw away the shrunken clothes.

All she could remember was the first step in any procedure. I asked her to clean the air filter in the air purifier, plug it in next to my chair, and turn it on. She cleaned the filter - and that was "it." She left it sitting on the floor where she'd worked on it. I let it go for a couple days, hoping she would remember to finish this job without my having to tell her - but she didn't- so I explained that she needed to finish the jobs that I give her. Her reply was that she couldn't remember these "details."

Likewise, when I asked her to take the dirty dog bedding out of its crate and replace it with fresh bedding, she put the old bedding in the laundry - and that was the end of it! I gave her time to recognize, on her own, that she needed to finish the job, but eventually I had to tell her myself. AGAIN, she told me that she couldn't remember these "details."

Having to micro-manage this person to the extent that every single step in the process of every single job had to be specifically explained to her was just a nightmare. I learned that I could not just tell her to 'replace the bedding in the service dog's crate.' Even telling her the specifics, such as "take out the old bedding, put it in the laundry, and replace it with new bedding" was more than she could handle. She put the old bedding in the pile of laundry, and she said she was done. So I could not rely upon her to tell me the truth.

Her mother had NOT warned me that her daughter is austistic, which I JUST learned On June 14th - long after the girl had been fired.

What the mother DID say in late April was that communication was sometimes difficult but that she was "dependable as all hell," which I did not find to be true AT ALL. "Dependable" is not how I would characterize it in any sense of that word. I had given the mother ample opportunity to tell me the girl is autistic BEFORE hiring her, when I quizzed her about the girl's strengths and weaknesses.

If this girl is "autistic," it isn't readily apparent, so perhaps she is actually very high on what they call the "spectrum."

Very early on, I had caught her with my pain medication - a bottle of pain killers I used to keep in my purse for when I was caught away from home on some errand when it was time to take my pills. Her excuse was barely even plausible, but since stealing a controlled substance is rather a big deal and I didn't actually catch her consuming them, I didn't feel comfortable firing her on the spot, though my instinct told me I should. If she hadn't been the daughter of a friend I probably would have let her go, but I just couldn't face it - ESPECIALLY since she had told me several times that her salary for this job was going toward the rent on the apartment her family had just moved into.

Many of my friends, hearing the specifics of the incident, told me I was being naïve. I kept thinking about her mother and step-father, my friends, and how they would feel if I fired their daughter after such a short time. I wrestled with it for a couple days, finally deciding that I should lock up my medication and keep an eye on her to make sure she couldn't get near my lock box or the key that would open it.

I continued to try to train her, but she lied about finishing every task, forcing me to hover much more than is physically or psychologically comfortable for me. I asked her to unwrap some new glass containers, wash them and put them in the cupboard. Afterwards, I asked her, "did you wash those glass containers after you unwrapped them?" and she said she had, but after she left on that last fateful day, I found all those glass containers, still in their original commercial wrapping of plastic and cardboard - sitting inside the cupboard. In this case, she had only remembered the last instruction and skipped the first two. Likewise when I asked her to adhere one sheet of contact paper to one shelf inside an empty cupboard, she cut the paper but left it loose inside the cupboard without peeling off the waxed paper so that it would lay flat against the cupboard shelving.

When I told her to wash the dishes, she spent an hour and a half cleaning 3 plates, 2 cups and a collection of cutlery, all of which had been pre-rinsed. She announced that she was finished, and when I walked into the kitchen, I found that she had only done the few items in the left portion of the sink, while the right portion and much of the counter space next to it was full of dirty dishes and the counter, itself, still had coffee on it where it had been spilled.

I asked her why she had not finished the dishes. She said something to me that I find incredible. She said, "Well, I don't know what your kitchen usually looks like." I squinted my eyes and gave her a good look, assessing the expression on her face. I concluded that she didn't have a real answer for my question and that, in defense, her brain had thrown up some absurd reason for her peculiar actions. The poor mad thing was mentally compromised in a profound way, or she was so stoned on my pain pills that she was completely out of it. Who knows?

The only comment her mother had made about her before hiring the young woman was that "communication" was sometimes an issue. "Communication" is one thing, but this collection of behaviors was far more globally outlandish than mere "communication."

I had her look at the big cooking pot in the right side of the sink and told her, "Look at this pot. Do you mean to tell me that you can't see that this pot is dirty?" She looked at me blankly.

"What about all these dishes on the counter?" I asked her. "Can't you see that these are dirty?"

With each piece of cutlery and crockery, I pointed out the dirt, the leftover food, the discolorations, and, in one case, a little bit of mold that had started to grow, as well as the telltale big brown stain of that now-dried sea of coffee that had spilled over some of the dishes, as well as the counter.

She continued to give me the blank look. I pointed out the pots and pans and assorted cutlery in the right side of the sink that she had ignored.

Later, she told me she could not clean the cast iron cookware because she didn't know how to do that. When I suggested she get out her phone and watch a tutorial on YouTube, which is where I learn everything new, she looked at me like I was nuts. She did not look it up on YouTube, and the cast iron pans remained on the stove - dirty and untouched.

When I realized the extent of this girl's limitations, I had to adjust my expectations. I either had to fire her and find someone else, which would hurt the finances of a family that was already struggling during the Covid crisis and also expose me to a stranger whose habits I did not know and may be contageous, or find a way to bring the girl to a point where she could develop a work-around that would enable her to compensate for the functions that her brain was not able to comprehend.  On the other hand, if she is a drug addict, which is a possibility, nothing constructive would be possible. I kept wondering how on God's green earth she had ever managed to pass even one college class, much less actually graduate with a degree.

Throughout all of this craziness, I could only speculate as to why my friend wasn't communicating with me and why she hadn't warned me about her daughter's condition. I began to strongly suspect that the girl is somewhere on the autism spectrum, but my friend hadn't had the honesty to TELL me about it when I asked her.

Instead of just giving instructions to my housekeeper and having confidence that it would be done, I had to get up and inspect for myself every single job I tasked the girl to do and, when I found that she was ignorant of how to do the simplest things, I ALSO had to physically show her how things are done, which gave me a rising level of pain and fatigue from the extra physicality involved. The stress began to wear on me more and more.

I ignored the sound of crickets from her mother, my supposed friend, and despite the exhaustion I was feeling from the constant stress of having to micro-manage every moment this person spent in my apartment, I proceeded to try to help this girl meet the "demands" of the job. I reasoned that, if I could help her develop some workarounds to make up for her mental deficits, she could give me some help with things in the house until she went away to college in the fall, and by that time, we should have some idea of whether it was safe to have a stranger working in my apartment, with regard to the virus. I could hire someone who would actually do the job without having to fire my friend's daughter, who would simply move on to her masters degree studies at the next college. At least, that was the plan I had to adopt after I experienced the drawbacks of hiring this person.

On the other hand, if my experience with her was any indication of what the acceptance committee would see with her masters degree application, she would NEVER go off to college again, and I would be stuck with her!

Then, on her last day, an item I had seen her holding one day had inexplicably vanished. It was a thick glass "shade," part of a set of a plate and matching shade that is meant to turn a large Yankee Company candle into something resembling a lamp. Gold flecks embedded in the glass made it sparkle. Every night, when winding down and getting ready for meditation, I would light the candle as the first in a series of preparations.  The candle and the matching plate are still here, but, after looking high and low for the shade, I simply can not find it!

Yankee Candle and plate (shade missing)

(Lives in the living room.)

I pressed her very hard to tell me the truth. I told her that only she and I were in this apartment since the moment she began working for me, and I am fairly sure the fairies didn't come in through the air vents in the middle of the night and spirit away the Christmas present a cousin gave me. I saw her with it in her hand, fer cryin' out loud, but she claims not to even remember it, but in an odd way that told me she was lying. She said, "I wouldn't usually separate out something like that and put it somewhere else."

After spending the weekend scouring the apartment, looking in all the boxes, in cupboards and EVERYWHERE I could think of, I had to fire this girl. If she had broken the shade and told me about it, there would not have been a problem. No one can guarantee that their work will never result in something being damaged. Accidents happen, and everyone understands this.

I had previously told her this very thing, with regard to a bookshelf she was tasked to put together but had broken. I told her at that time that she shouldn't worry about it and that she was not expected to indemnify her work. All that mattered was that she had told me she had broken it and that she would help fix it. I asked her to find replacement pins for the ones that she had broken. She claimed that she went to the hardware store and that they were not available, but now, after all the lies, I don't know if she told me the truth about that. In any case, the point is that I had already told her that she isn't expected to indemnify her work, and if she broke the item, she could tell me about it. She resolutely refused to admit to what she had done with it. She either broke it and hid the evidence or she took it home with her.

Duplicate Candle, with matching shade and plate

(lives in the kitchen)

As time went on, I discovered more and more tools and clothes and odd things that are "missing." Some can be replaced, when I have the money. Some cannot. Although that girl is the only person who has entered my apartment since the beginning, her parents do not believe that she took these things. Her mother still refuses to speak with me, and her father called me and claimed definitively that the girl is not a thief and that "someone else" had done something with the missing items, even though I am the only "someone else" that has been in this apartment. The step-father offered to come to my apartment and "help me find" these missing items, even after I told him that I have already looked in every box, drawer, nook and cranny. I am physically disabled, but have NO mental compromises. I didn't hide these items from myself, and I don't know what makes him think that he would be able to find things in my apartment if I myself could not find them.

The step-father suggested that I look in the garage, where the daughter claims she did some "projects." She did NO "projects" in the garage, unless you count taking out the trash and sweeping.

It is one thing to be sympathetic toward someone who has "processing" issues. One can understand that faulty equipment makes functioning difficult. If someone's brain has trouble making sense of incoming information, it is a thing to be pitied, not to arouse anger. But lying and stealing are another matter. Lying and stealing are character issues, and a major betrayal.

The idea that someone to whom I had been very generous and kind would steal from me, lie about it resolutely in the face of absolute evidence, and treat me as if I am some idiot that cannot interpret properly what my eyes actually see should shock and surprise me, but it doesn't, because I have seen this over and over again in my lifetime.

Friends, family, neighbors, strangers, co-workers and acquaintances have stolen from me throughout my life; from my mother who stole my collection of silver dollars when was 11; to the wealthy co-religionist who offered to "help" me when I left the convent by sharing an apartment with me but who actually saddled me with the entire rent while claiming I was only paying half; to the family members who wrote me out of my father's will AFTER he got Alzheimer's and did not realize what he was doing; to the LAST housekeeper I had, a neighbor who also stole from me after I had been extremely generous to her; the world is full of people who think nothing of stealing from the vulnerable who have little protection. The more vulnerable you are, the more vultures circle overhead. Saints are few and far between because most people are operating on primitive, selfish instincts of self-preservation that ignore the underlying spiritual reality that we are all one.

Jesus had to tell people something that should be obvious to folks but isn't. We have to love our neighbors. People outside our natal families, people who do not live with us and to whom we are not related by blood, actually MATTER. We are all "one," a cohesive, connected group of beings, and not just a random collection of nuclear families. Unfortunately, many people have trouble with this "it takes a village" concept. The degree to which a person is selfish and self-centered is the degree to which they are unable to see how they are part of society on a larger scale.

When you steal, cheat or lie to another person, you are hurting the body of Christ and, ultimately, yourself - but not just in the sense that you'll end up going to Hell without repentance. It is much bigger than that. Because of our connection to one another is so deep, when you hurt another person, you are, at the same time and to the same degree, immediately also hurting oneself - and not just impinging on one's future spiritual disposition.

By telling us to love our neighbors, The Lord invites us to take our attention off of ourselves and adopt a wider view - a view that imitates that of God Himself, whose attention and love encompasses all of us.

I DO still wonder why so many people are willing to risk their immortal souls for trivial things that are worth so little, what to speak of friendship. Maybe it is because I am less inclined to steal than most people or because I am not given to much retaliation that makes people feel comfortable stealing from me. Who knows? It is all a mystery to me.

All of this nonsense with the daughter of my friend has come on the heels of another neighbor manipulating me into giving an expensive piece of furniture to her relatives, rather than selling it, as I had needed to do. For several months, this neighbor harangued me, saying I should give away the furniture, rather than sell it, even though it was in brand new, unused condition. I thought she was just giving unsolicited advice. I get a lot of that, as do we all. I didn't dream that she was working me.

Then, early one morning, she surprised me with an uncharacteristic early phone call, out of the blue, and told me that her relative was thrilled to be getting the big queen size bed! She was so overwhelmed by the news, said my neighbor, that she had "cried with joy." I was stunned. I had no idea that this relative of hers needed a bed, and we obviously hadn't discussed giving it to her. My neighbor was talking fast, sounding hyped up and abnormal. I felt ambushed and embarrassed for her at the same time. I asked myself, do I tell her she is crazy and that we'd never discussed such a thing, or do I just let it slide and the let the bed go, giving it to another poor person and hoping the gift would be a good deed?

A flashback of a previous incident hit me - something similar in which this neighbor had need of something and had worked herself into a state in which she had apparently gone to great lengths, mentally, to work out how I would provide this thing, that she just assumed I would be doing it for her - completely bypassing any request for my assistance. Instead, she called me and announced how I would be providing this service. It was very odd, but I knew her to be a bit tense and eccentric and chalked it up to a mental quirk.

Months later, when she called and announced she had arranged for this moving van to get the bed in two hours' time, I was really thrown by it, in spite of my previous experience with this method of hers. I had JUST woke up after a bad night and had not even had my coffee yet. I had to think fast and decide how to handle this, right then and there. I was very aggravated by the scheming way she had done it, but I hated to think that her destitute relative would have to be told that the bed was NOT being given to her after all. Also, it was true that the idea of having strangers coming into my house to purchase the bed made me very uncomfortable, so I went along with the charade and did my best to be as gracious as possible when the relative came to pick up the furniture.

I figured I had done a good deed for her destitute relative, even if I had been squeezed into it, but I distanced myself from that neighbor thereafter, which was easy to do, since she hadn't spoken to me for some time after the bed was transferred to her relative. It was disappointing, because we had been friendly, but the time had come for me to put up some boundaries that would not only protect me from the thieves and manipulators, but also save those people from themselves.

You would think I would have learned my lesson after THAT one - but no, hope springs eternal - at least it DID - until this thing happened with the housekeeper. It was the final straw.

This time - and every time - someone does this to me, I spend a couple days if not outright depressed, a bit down and disappointed. In addition, with my physical medical issues, I am nowadays also exhausted and depleted with constant pain.  I can no longer carry the weight of the sinful avaricious nature of other people. It takes too much out of me. It isn't the STUFF that bothers me. It is the betrayal and the spiritual consequences that get me.

Somehow I have to close my doors to the vampires that have been so attracted by my generous nature my whole life. Of course, we have all heard it is hard for an old dog to learn new tricks. Is it possible to become less gullible? I hope so.

God bless you all.

Silver

USE THE OPPORTUNITIES OF SOCIAL DISTANCING TO "GO DEEP" INTO YOUR SPIRITUAL LIFE

I have been a solitary for nearly two decades, but for many of you, Covid-induced social isolation and spending great amounts of time alone are an entirely new thing. I am reading that some people are experiencing great stress. Others are besieged by boredom and do not know what to do with all the time that is on their hands.

For these people, I suggest that you go deep into your spiritual life. Surrender yourself to the Lord during your waking hours. Like Brother Lawrence, who practiced the presence of God throughout each day, you can offer up your actions at home, such as the menial tasks of cooking and cleaning and other self-care duties - and you can also retreat to a comfortable chair in which to send up your prayers, confront your fears, and meditate upon the Good God.

Now is your chance. If the idea of going on retreat has ever intrigued you, now is the perfect time to create your own!

There are many books about meditation in Christian, Buddhist and Hindu traditions.

If your mind goes to a philosophical bent, and you are really a deep thinker, I recommend the writings of Father Bede Griffiths, keeping in mind that his writings demonstrate a progression of ideas as a result of personal spiritual experience.

The Practice of the Presence of God, a book that simply outlines the Catholic philosophy of practice of the monk known as Brother Lawrence, is also a splendid place to start.

Anyone in need of more book recommendations please feel free to comment, and I will reply.

In the meantime, God bless us and keep us all.

Silver Rose
Sannyasini Kaliprana

COVID CHAOS A few days ago, I drove to CLARK'S PET EMPORIUM to get much needed food supplies for my dog. As an essential business, they are allo

A few days ago, I drove to CLARK'S PET EMPORIUM to get much needed food supplies for my dog. As an essential business, they are allowed to be open, but I was horrified when two employees came out at different intervals to stand right next to my car and speak down on me, less than a foot away, and neither one of them were wearing masks.

Afraid to extend the conversation with them by remarking on the masks, and also afraid that one of them might be angered by being questioned about it and then even MORE droplets would be coming my way because of a more intense conversation, I decided to get out of there as quickly as possible and then call the owners later.

I looked up the telephone number of the owners on their website. (505-292-6288) It was a phony number that dumped me into their store telephone system. So I asked to speak to one of the owners (Michael or Thomas Steeples) or the store managers.

The young guy that came to the phone sounded very young and not terribly decisive. He said to me, "Yeah, we're not really wearing masks in the store. None of us are wearing masks." He also said that he understood it was serious, but his tone of voice did not convey that he actually comprehended that this issue IS serious.

He said he would "notify them." I quizzed him as to who "them" is - the owners? No. He said he was going to notify the store manager, which is the person to whom I was purportedly speaking. When I questioned him about this he said that the store manager was out to lunch and that he is the guy that answers the phone when the manager is gone! He tried to get me off the phone.

"Don't you want my phone number?" I asked him. He didn't sound like he was thrilled to be taking a message but he dutifully went to get a piece of paper and a pencil. He took my name and number, but I was not left with the impression that I should expect to get a return phone call. It isn't like he was rude. That's not it. He was disinterested and obviously disempowered.

woman wearing home-made cloth mask

I decided to call 311, which is the city general information number. I have, in the past, had great success with the 311 operators. They don't make you wait three years before they'll pick up the phone, and that number has never dumped me into a voice mail hell. They often have answers to questions like this.

The gal that picked up the phone WAS very accommodating. She referred to the information that she had at her disposal, but unfortunately could not tell me whether or not businesses that are staying open are required to wear masks or not. If they ARE required to wear a mask, I wanted to do what I could to nudge them into compliance. and if they are NOT required to wear a mask, I intended to find a different business that was doing this voluntarily.

The 311 operator gave me the number for the New Mexico Covid-19 non-emergency information line, which turned out to be the 9th level of computer hell that is much more concerned about the information they are NOT prepared to give you than any beneficial information. (1-833-551-0518)

If you are calling about platypus eggs, press 1.

If you are calling about the price of tea in China, press 2.

If you would like to know what temperature to bake bread, press 3.

If you want to learn how to swim, press 4

If you are calling about the circumference of a typical cowboy's hat, press 5.

A few of the "go away, don't bother me" phone numbers I found online

OK. I'm kidding about the topics - but they were no more helpful than the few examples, above. There WERE 9 levels of hell, plus several website addresses that the voice rattled off WAY too fast. NONE of it addressed this really simple request for information and no human being picked up the phone.

I hung up and called back, this time deciding to just pick a number at random, since none of them pertained to what I needed. It dumped me into YET ANOTHER computer voice mail that asked me to leave a message.

So I did. I left them a spicy message telling them that their stupid phone number is a PRETENSE - pretending to "be there" for citizens with questions, but answering nothing.

I called the 311 city government number again, and yet another very nice human being gave me a different number, this time the local number for the New Mexico Department of Health. (505-827-2613.)

The math behind social distancing

ONCE AGAIN, no human would answer the phone. It was another voice mail request for me to leave my name and number.

More and more these days, people in business and government are expecting computers to actually do their work for them. It is pure laziness to do so because computers cannot duplicate a thinking, living, breathing human being. Mentally lazy I.T. people concoct these excruciatingly long voice mail messages that do not anticipate all the possible reasons that a person may be calling that telephone number and do not give you any option to speak to a human about those other topics that the I.T. people are incapable of imagining.

It is more than obvious that the whole intention behind these 10-minute voice mail announcements is to avoid communicating with me or you. It is clear that their entire rationale is to avoid contact with us.

The 311 operators are a marvelous exception to what has become, more and more, the rule in our society.

Please don't get me wrong. I spend almost all day long connected up to the internet and I really do not know what I would do without it. I LOVE the internet. It helps me research. It helps me write. I learn how to make crafts. I learn how to play musical instruments. Even my prayer life and spiritual reading and participation is greatly enhanced by the internet. It is a wonderful tool, in the right context...but our telephones should remain telephones. We should not be greeted with a 10-minute invitation to get lost every time we call a company or a government office.

Apparently, the only way to quash this modus operandi is to make this way of doing business much more inconvenient for THEM than it is for us. You decide how you might do that. I, for one, will be making a very polite pest of myself, since I am already being treated like one.

Meanwhile, neither the manager nor the owners of Clark's Pet Emporium have returned my call. I have called the governor's office to encourage her to make social distancing mandatory for businesses that have been deemed "essential," since some of them, like CLARK'S PET EMPORIUM are not even doing the minimum.

God save us all.

Silver Rose