In the background of all my days is the Covid-19 pandemic, but that isn't the first thing I think of when I wake up. I think of the nutty, conspiracy theory fueled, abusive authoritarian regime that has captured our government. It has scary implications for a poor disabled old lady who is going blind and has no power, except the power of my mind and my prayers....which is not "my" power at all, but the power of The Divine.
Hitler had his brown shirts. Trump has his white supremacists, Boogaloo Bois, neo-Nazis, Q-Anon conspiracy theorists, and pseudo militia men, tricked out in full camo and loaded assault rifles, who are now taking the law into their own hands and are murdering citizens who have the gall to protest the killings of black citizens by a trigger-happy, militarized police force.
The dangerously escalating situation started when a black man, George Floyd, was murdered by four policemen in broad daylight, on a city street, in full view of many witnesses, and memorialized by several videos.
While the prone, defenseless, unarmed and restrained citizen pleaded that he could not breathe and begged for his mother, one of the police officers, the murderer, pressed his knee into George Floyd's neck while the other police held him down. Onlookers can be heard on the videotape, trying to intervene, but the police officers spent a good six minutes strangling him. The cold, bloodless look on the face of the murderer is eerie.
Protests started to break out in response. It certainly wasn't the first black American to be murdered by police, but enough people had finally had enough of this travesty that they were willing to risk their own lives to protest with an eye to change.
The response of Trump, the police and the right wing "law and order" crowd was to kill more people and assault the peaceful protesters with gas, rubber bullets, and clubs.
Online, the right wing was complaining, not about the citizens who had been murdered in the street by the police that were supposed to protect them, but the tiny percentage of looting and violence that was occurring. This is typical of the alt right talking heads. They ignore the main issue and get it lost in the weeds of much less evident side issues. This is how the conspiracy theorists operate, as well. If they can find ONE instance of something happening, they blow it up to such an extent that, in their minds, at least, it becomes true for a massive number of people. It isn't truth, but they don't care about truth. They care about force and punishment, even if they have to manufacture an issue that they can then stomp on.
The response of Trump's administration and the right wing lie machine was to (1) express outrage against the protesters instead of the police who murder citizens on the street; and (2) express approval and encouragement for armed white supremacists to take the law into their own hands and come to the protests with loaded weapons to, supposedly, "protect property," but all I saw were pitched battles between them and protesters, initiated by the quasi-military goons who had taken it upon themselves to establish "law and order."
The response of the police was to (1) kill MORE black citizens; and (2) collude with the white supremacists so they would come in large numbers, bristling with weapons.
The protesters, seeing that there was no attempt to address the issues of racism and human rights abuses, but that, instead, the establishment had doubled-down, became enraged. (Who could blame them?)
Most recently, part of a group of white supremacists, a 17 year-old proudly came to a protest with an assault rifle and killed two protesters, after which he approached the police, who basically patted him on the head and sent him home. (You can well imagine if the kid had been black and had approached the police with an AR-15 slung around his neck, after killing two citizens. They would have shot him dead where he stood.)
Shortly thereafter, police can be heard thanking the armed civilians for coming out that night.
There is video and audio of all of this, and I have seen most of it.
Witnessing some of the recent murders of citizens by police, vis-a-vis video and audio tape taken by bystanders with their cell phones, had actually made me sick to my stomach.
The pandemic, a despotic fascist dictatorship, and the string of abuses against people of color, women, minorities, disabled folk, seniors, and anyone deemed too "different" to be allowed to live, is horrifying. This is not the America that the world has counted on to do the right thing. Starting with the kidnap and incarceration of babies and children at the border, we became the bad guys. I have cried every day since this started.
I have always been nonviolent. I have subscribed to Martin Luther King Jr.'s philosophy of nonviolent protest and resistance since I was a little girl. In response to the blood bath on the Edmund Pettus Bridge in which John Lewis, of blessed memory, was savaged and nearly killed, I participated in a protest march in the streets of Carmel, California. But now, since becoming old, disabled and nearly blind, I can't even do that. All I can do is meditate, pray and advise.
I admit that I sometimes feel demoralized and overwhelmed by the sheer volume of amoral, abusive language spewing out of Trump, but when I put my mind at the feet of the Lord, the way is clear. I have to continue to advocate for the vulnerable and the weak, even though I myself belong to those categories.
In Proverbs, there is a commandment to kings which I believe Jesus would agree that we follow:
Open your mouth for the dumb,
for the rights of all the unfortunate.
Open your mouth, judge righteously,
and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy.
~ Proverb 31:8
Although I have not taken to the streets to protest, I have suffered reprisals for my words of protest. I used to have supporters, in my parish and here, online, who were helping me with small gifts and gestures of kindness. One of them bought me a reclining chair when mine broke, so that I would have something on which to sleep. (I can't sleep lying down.) Another gave me a couch she had inherited. A group of them took me to lunch or tea on my birthday - but because I advocate for the weak, the vulnerable and the marginalized, and because I call out Trump and the lies of the right wing, they all, (except one) called me "hateful" and shunned me. They blocked me on Facebook and never spoke to me again.
The last time I was able to go to church and actually sit through mass, I happened to encounter one of them in the hallway. She glowered at me ferociously, lifted her nose in the air, turned her back to me, and stomped out the door.
Another supporter, a woman in IRELAND, of all places, had somehow become a Trump enthusiast. She had been trying to help me find a decent place to live that would be helpful when I lose more of my vision, but she also sent me an angry screed.
The assistance of my "Christian" family has always been welcome, especially since my father's will had been changed after he got dementia, and I was written out. (Typical family greed. He subsequently died under very suspicious circumstances, and I didn't know he had passed away until his body had been cremated, destroying the evidence.)
It is ironic that I left the Hindu convent because of the lack of love exhibited by the people in that faith, only to find that Christians are, for the most part, no better. Just because they claim to follow the God of love, doesn't mean they actually DO. A good portion of them don't even advocate for Christian love and fellow-feeling, opting instead for the dark side of resentment, grievances, force and punishment. The few who actually follow Christ are a beacon of light to me, and I thank God for them daily.
I mention all of this because I want you all to know that there is a cost to advocating for truth and justice! I am not just "blowing hot air" because the internet enables me and it is therefore easy to get my opinion published. I have suffered and continue to suffer retaliation for my advocacy - so when I ask you to do the same, you understand that I am also paying a high price.
I offer up my prayers today for all who need them, especially for the black community that has endured so much for so many years, and I pray that they continue to protest without undertaking violence. I recommend the same to the rest of you, as well.
May God bless you all.
Silver Parnell
(Sannyasini Kaliprana)
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