Whenever I have a problem lately, I tend to turn to a favorite saint, or I will look on the calendar to see if there is a saint whose feast day is on that day who might have something to "say" to me in the way of inspiration.
It is remarkable that the issue I'm wrestling with at the moment has to do with my health and my struggle to get decent medical care since my long-time doctor retired a few years ago.
Today I am focusing on Saint Alphonsa, the patron saint of those suffering from illness! Like me, as soon as she appeared to recover from one thing, she became sick with something else. She died when she was only in her 30's and miracles have been accredited to her intercession.
Reading about the saints puts everything in perspective on most days. Saint Alphonsa's suffering was great and she died when she was half my age, yet throughout all of it, she remained serene and focused on what really matters. She was focused on The Lord.
Alphonsa was born in India, and her mother died when she was only 3 years old, so she was raised by her grandparents. Her story touches on themes from my life. My mother did not die, but she was not a mother to me, and the only family relation that was kind to me was my grandmother, who lived in another city. Although my grandmother was a wonderful lady, she believed only in "the Golden Rule" and avoided religion. I was functionally alone, and I had no guidance.
On the other hand, little Annakkutty (her birth name) was bathed in the loving refinement of her grandmother's faith and devotion to God. How you start out in life has a huge impact on how you end up.
From the moment of her birth, Alphonsa's life was marked by the cross, but in a letter to her spiritual adviser, she once said, "Already from the age of seven, I was no longer mine. I was totally dedicated to my divine spouse." When I read this, it gave me pause, because when I was seven, I had no access to religious life. My parents had been divorced for two years and they both hated religion. I was attracted to it. Some relative had given me a book of Christian prayers for Christmas (probably my aunt), but I had no idea what any of it meant.
Saint Alphonsa was leading family prayers by the time she was five. Her grandmother was a devout and pious woman who transmitted the faith to the little girl. This is where Saint Alphonsa's life story differs from mine considerably. I was just learning about Christianity and reading about the Catholic mystics when I was a few years older than the age Alphonsa was when she died at age 35! I was living in a Hindu convent when I was 35 and had never had any experience with Christianity. It is ironic that I was in a Hindu convent at that time because Alphonsa was born and raised in a predominantly Hindu country, but became a Christian monastic.
She joined the Franciscan Clarists in 1935. She had wanted to enter earlier, but was put off because of her ill health. Again, she stayed focused. She endured her privations calmly.
Last night, I spent some time contemplating the calmness and grace with which this saint met her sufferings and resolved to deal with my impending conflict in a similar manner.
This morning, before going to a doctor appointment in which I had to discuss certain issues having to do with my disappointment with my care, I reflected on Saint Alphonsa and resolved to deal with it in a way that was non-blaming and which encouraged a spirit of co-operation. Rather than find fault with the doctor who had made errors, I managed to offer a solution to the issues that focused on a change in their procedures and computer programs which would help many patients - not just me!
The doctor and I had a really construction discussion in which I discovered that I had perceived an issue that had ALSO bothered her! I brought with me a form I had created and shared with her as a sample of the solution I envisioned, and she later called in the head of the nursing department to take a look at my form and to talk with me. He ALSO agreed with all my observations about the downside of the current computer system and the way that it presented the patient's health information to the doctor. The information was incomplete and had caused some problems with administering my care.
Furthermore, the doctor is not able to add any notes that help define the medical issues or extra information added by the patient. Erroneous information can't be erased or altered in any way! The computer output is written to communicate to the bean counters in the billing department but is terribly flawed at the point of medical service to the patient. I was giving them the patient perspective on something the doctors had already found interfered with their work.
I really think Saint Alphonsa helped me in handling this situation with diplomacy and constructive suggestion. Mostly, it was her example that gave me the courage to bring up this topic with my doctor. I'd had some anxiety about it, as others in that medical setting had already given me some pushback about it. They were dismissive of my interest in helping in this way, and did not want to participate, even though the patients would benefit. But Saint Alphonsa gave me the strength to continue on and discuss this with my doctor, despite the eye-rolling of others in her field. One of the women told me that this hospital organization was "huge" and I couldn't hope to make any changes. It was frustrating to be treated with disdain, certainly, but I didn't let it deter me. I cheerfully carried on.
Sometimes we can become distracted by our suffering and frustrations. At least, I know that I sometimes do. When faced with having to have a potentially fractious exchange with another person whose help we need, the analytical part of the brain can be bypassed in favor of the emotional reaction. But we can keep this from happening with contemplation on the Divine. Of course, we all KNOW this, but most of us need reminding, as well as some tools to manage it. Contemplation is the Divine Tool!
Thanks to the inspiration of Saint Alphonsa, I walked out of my doctor appointment today feeling a great deal of satisfaction. I got my personal needs met while advocating for all the other patients at the same time and not irritating the doctor in the process, staying calm and centered all along.
May Saint Alphonsa inspire you and intercede for you at the feet of the Lord, and may you all be blessed.
Silver Rose
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