THE SEVEN YEAR CYCLE - UPDATE

 

"Appearances"

by

Silver S. Parnell

Copyright (c) 1996, all rights reserved.

My entire life has been devoted in a search for the Divine. No matter what my employment happened to be at the moment, my vocation has always been that of the spiritual seeker. 

When I was 11, I was corresponding with the Carmelite nuns in Carmel, California (much to the ire of my Catholic-hating mother!) In my late teens, I spent time with L. Ron Hubbard on his "Sea Organization Flagship." I studied Nicheren Shoshu Buddhism for a short while in my late teens, but found the chanting was not as mentally stimulating and spiritually inspiring as I would have hoped.

I had no religious input in my childhood, but as soon as I left home at barely 17, I entered onto the mystical and contemplative path, and I have loved every minute of it and I have learned a LOT about many different religions and philosophies, concentrating, for the most part, on Vedanta style contemplation which can be suited to any religion, really. The object of one's contemplation is what is key. Catholics will focus on Christ or God the Father or the Holy Spirit or Mary. Vedantists may fixate on Ramakrishna or another saint. The possibilities are  endless because contemplation and meditation are techniques.

I keep hearing from people that they believe that meditation is the process of "emptying your mind," but my meditation lessons with the Buddhists and the Hindus do not resemble that at all.

I have been blessed and extremely grateful to keep company with remarkable people like Zen Master, Roshi Prabhasa Dharma, beloved friend of blessed memory - and Swami Swahananda, probably the most influential person in my life, with whom I practiced and studied the mystical life of the Vedantic Hindus. When he allowed me to take the final sannyasa vows and gave me the monastic name of "Kaliprana", it was the happiest day of my life. Later, I became enamored of the Catholic mystics and began to trod that path. It has been a wonderful, rich, journey - full of joy and hope.

Swami Swahananda

My Hindu (Vedanta) teacher

About seven years ago, another Vedantist encouraged me to write a blog, as a way of gaining support. I have not received much "support" but writing this blog has helped give me an incentive to study my favorite saints and get back in the habit of writing on a daily basis. In the process, this HAS helped me develop research and writing techniques, as well as fed my soul with the examples of female mystics through the ages. Eventually, I began to feel fairly competent and realized that my lifelong writer's block with which I had struggled terribly, had been eased by the process of writing almost 400 blog posts.

At some point, I intend to take all the information I have gathered during my research for these blog posts and write a book about the rather more "unknown saints," accompanied by my own paintings of them. In the meantime, I was afraid that the posts themselves, which are a running diary of my days seen through the lens of saints who have feasts on those days, might be somewhat stale. I reverted them to draft state until I had a chance to review them and have decided to leave them "as is." They reflect what they are - a diary of thoughts, prayers, musings and research conducted over the years. The character of this blog will change and it will certainly be added to less frequently, but what has gone before will remain.

I am entering into a new phase. I have lost most of the vision in my left eye, due to macular degeneration, and the right eye is likewise threatened. I am faced with having to get shots in my one good eye in an attempt to retard the progress of the disease. The doctors tell me that I have to get a lot better nutrition than I have mostly gotten during all these poverty years and take some vitamins and supplements that I have not been able to afford. (More about that later.)

When I first became disabled, I had a vision of what my monastic life would look like, but, gradually, over the decades since I took monastic vows, It has been pretty much impossible to maintain a proper monastic schedule because most of my time is spent in the laborious process of dragging myself through my painful days and caring for the body which has begun to fail. The mind, however, is still fresh, and I have reverted to living my monastic vocation in imitation of Brother Lawrence, who said that he was as much with the Lord, among his pots and pans, as he would have been if he'd been talented enough to chant in a choir stall. My mind rests with the Lord, and "walking meditation" has become my constant habit.

I practice the presence of God. Lately, I have begun the habit of chanting the Angelus in Latin. The ideal is to do this three times a day, but I admit to being only able to do it twice, due to wretched insomnia that keeps me up all night. I also pray the Jesus Prayer of the Orthodox Church, as well as the Rosary of Mother Mary and Chaplets for various saints. Also, the Chaplet of Our Lady of Sorrows.

Blessed Mother Mary and Baby Jesus

by

Silver S. Parnell

Copyright (c) 2020, All rights reserved

Becoming a hermit was an afterthought. I never aspired to it. But circumstances forced me into that role and I have done the best I could with it over the last two decades. I hope that all the prayers and the pains that I have offered up on behalf of the world have found favor with The Lord.

Mystic Saint

by

Silver S. Parnell

Copyright (c)1996

All rights reserved

I have not even been able to have a caregiver in the house to help me because the agencies have no caregivers to send, except for the occasional ne'er do well who has had to produce a paycheck to show the court that she is working and thereby will get one step closer to getting her children back from the state. 

These people that occasionally appeared stole from me, harassed me and tried to push me around. Even the daughter of friends of mine managed to "disappear" some of my belongings, including a glass candle shade that belongs on my shrine, though I have no clue how she did that! Perhaps there is something about vulnerability that is too much of a temptation for people, or maybe she broke it and secretly threw it away and was ashamed to admit it.

I have also discovered that for some people, thievery is a way of life. Even when it risks much more than they gain by it, they steal.  It is an ingrained habit, apparently. So, it is perhaps better not to have anyone come into the house to help me. I will struggle along by myself, as I have done for more than 20 years.

A good friend of mine came by several times to get my dishes cleaned up. Since then, as a method of reducing the number of dirty dishes, I have resorted to eating frozen prepared meals because my back and knees cannot stand for cooking and cleaning.

At the same time, my Social Security income is really not enough to address my needs, and I have to try to improve my financial situation before I lose the rest of my vision. I am writing a novel, which I hope to be adapted to a film after publication. (I grew up in the film industry and wrote for television in my early 20's, so I am prepared for the pitfalls.) I also have plans for a series of paintings of New Mexico, my adopted state, and there is the possibility of a small limited line of art jewelry on the side, sold in a local store or online. I will have to see about that. 

These creative projects don't require that I adapt myself to any schedule and can be done when I am feeling well enough to sit and do them. These days, a week might go by when I am not able to do anything but get myself fed and bathed. The pain cycle has its ups and downs, often in response to the weather.

Lunch at the Vedanta Convent

during one of Swami's visits.

About 1989

A monastic schedule, on the other hand, is a more rigorous daily set of hours dedicated to specific spiritual disciplines. I can no longer pretend that my inability to keep to a schedule is TEMPORARY or that my health is likely to improve. Instead, my illnesses and syndromes are steadily worsening, and whatever efforts I make to improve the situation seem only to lessen the degree to which my health is going downhill.

I don't intend to change my lifestyle. I won't be going for boyfriends or husbands. You won't find me hanging out in bars or sitting through concerts. I will remain at home but I will give up the struggle to meet the requirements of a typical monastic schedule because I just can't do it any more.

The Lord will accompany me, as He always has, and it will be alright. I can still keep my mind occupied with Him in whatever activity I find myself. 

THE PLAN, GOING FORWARD

Originally, I had decided not to write this blog any more, but I have since realized that what I need to do is to cut down on the more ambitious elements of it. For instance, the research of the lives of the saints, for which I wrote quite a few biographies. That isn't necessary for an online diary that is, by definition, an account of things that have happened in the author's life - not in the life of someone who lived 500 years ago, or some such.

I have kept diaries constantly throughout my life, I enjoy doing it, and there is no reason I shouldn't keep it up - at least in a more modest form. It helps me come to grips with the daily challenges and is helpful to keep my writing abilities honed a bit. So - I will write when I feel inspired, and I am going to try to keep it more brief. Let's see how successful I am!

MY HEALTH COULD USE SOME HELP!

In addition to the wide-ranging arthritic conditions, the macular degeneration that is robbing me of my vision has been proven to respond to special diet and supplements, most of which I can not afford, and I have a wish list on Amazon for food, visual aids, and some necessary household items. Amazon has my address and will mail to be direct. Follow the link below, and it will be self-explanatory:

AMAZON WISH LIST

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ME:

Please feel free to leave a comment on this blog and I will be notified. You are also welcome to contact me on my Facebook page.

Here is the link to my Facebook profile:

FACEBOOK - CONTACT ME HERE

God bless you all.

Silver S. Parnell

Copyright (c) 2021
All rights reserved.

SAINT MELITINA - SEPTEMBER 15

 

Saint Melitina

Today's saint is a woman about whom we know almost nothing except that she died sometime in the 2nd century, she was a virgin and a martyr. My guess is that she was likely very young, as were most of the martyrs in this era....at least the ones we know about.

I believe she is one of only two female saints on a day when there are more than a dozen celebrated on the official Catholic calendar. Some days, the paucity of female saints and the tiny bit of information available about those few women, irritates me. At worst, it depresses.

SAINT EANSWIDA AND THE MOST HOLY NAME OF MARY - SEPTEMBER 12

 

Saint Mary's Church

Folkestone

Bones of the saint found here

Also known as Eanswythe or Eanswith, she was the first female monastic in all of England, establishing a convent at Folkestone England in the 7th century.  She was the daughter of Kind Eadbald of Kent and, like most daughters of kings, she was sought as a marriage partner. In fact, a pagan prince came to Kent to ask her father for her hand, but she, of course, refused. These saintly ladies wanted nothing to do with marriage, most of them. 

Eanswida remained at her abbey her entire life, but her monastery was abandoned before the 10th century, as it had begun to be disintegrated by the action of the ocean waves. An attempt was made to rebuild it in 1095, but that also proved to be no match for the sea.

Folkestone Priory, a new foundation in this area, was established in 1137, and I believe it is still there. In fact, I seem to remember a Facebook acquaintance mentioning it, as she lived in that town, a lovely quaint English town. Of course, the priory went the way of the rest of the Catholic establishments in England and is now part of the Church of England, Folkestone Parish Church.

Recent osteoarcheology has found the bones of this young saint, who died in her early 20's, and studies are ongoing, which is rather exciting. I am including a link to an article in THE GUARDIAN about how her bones were found:

GUARDIAN ARTICLE OF THE DISCOVERY OF HER BONES

I am related to her, marginally, as I am to most of the obscure English saints that are descended from nobility. There was so much intermarriage, you know, that I am a cousin to myself 100 times over, as are many Americans whose ancestors arrived in this country from England in the 17th century.

THE FEAST OF THE MOST HOLY NAME OF THE MOST BLESSED VIRGIN MARY

Today is also a Marian Feast Day celebrating the Most Holy Name of the Most Blessed Virgin Mary and there is a lot of information online about it.

Silver Rose

SAINT ROSE OF LIMA - AUGUST 23

 

Saint Rose of Lima

[b. Isabel Flores de Oliva]

(1586-1617)

Patron of Latin America and the Philippines

Saint Rose of Lima is one of the saints I love and, although a few days will have passed before I have the time to finish this blog post, thereby "missing" her feast day of August 23, I am going to write about her nonetheless.

Born in Lima to a Creole mother and a Portuguese-born father of no particular distinction, a member of the cavalry of the day, Isabel Flores de Oliva developed into an intensely religious child. Even in infancy, there were remarkable signs attendant on her. A servant saw the child's face turn into a rose and told everyone of this so that it became her nickname, which she took formally when she was confirmed in The Faith.

Catherine of Sienna captured the young girl's imagination, and she tried to copy her ascetic practices, such as fasting three days a week. There were also "severe penances" practiced in secret, behind closed doors. I am not sure what those practices were and how anyone knew of them, but in any case, this is where any similarity between myself and this lovely saint quickly falls by the wayside because, aside from offering up the constant pain of my physical conditions, I have no interest in increasing my pain and discomfort. Like most human beings, I do what I can to avoid extra pains, as I feel I have quite enough coming to me already. 

In particular, the enjoyment of food is something I have never been able to curtail, which has resulted in my zaftig physique. In fact, by the time I was five, my mother was calling me "fat" and this is the way I have remained for the majority of my life (except for about 7 years when I made what seemed to me to be a HUGE effort and I was substantially thinner.) I have been told by a few doctors that the abuse I endured as a child is largely responsible for this excess adipose tissue, but there remains the conviction in my mind that if I was really religious I would be able to get a handle on this problem. However, I am not dead yet, and we shall see if I am ever able to conquer this defect and follow the examples set by many of our saints.

There are all sorts of things to make Saint Rose dear to our hearts. She rebelled against the common practice of the day and refused marriage, preferring instead to stay home and commune with the Lord, engaging in spiritual practices under the disapproving eyes of her parents who preferred to have married her off. But all she wanted was union with the Divine.

Contrary to the imaginations of some, spiritual people who reject the usual parade of husband, children and grandchildren, will typically have some work to do. They don't float around their homes, toes inches from the floorboards. Labor is a healthy aspect of life, the need for which is shared by secular folks and monastics alike. In some of the icons painted of this saint, she is sewing.

Now, sewing is one of my creative outlets, in addition to being a wonderfully FUNCTIONAL skill to have. At this moment, I have about 20 yards of linen waiting for me to unroll it, wash, cut and sew it! When I see even a very pedestrian activity like this in one of our saints, my attention grabs onto it. Anything that will help me to feel confident that I can follow the path of the mystics is important to me. Saint Rose worked at embroidery in order to help support the family, but of course it did not provide the kind of income that comes with a wealthy and/or hard working son-in-law, and I don't imagine Rose's parents were at all mollified by whatever small sums were brought into the household as a result of her work.

Any person who displays a radical disparity between the family traditions and expectations and their own is going to be the object of constant pressure and sometimes ridicule within the family structure, even a devout Catholic family. Not every family wanted their children to become nuns, priests or some other kind of monastic. I am guessing that they may have been counting on the small dowry and the relief of having one less mouth to feed when their daughter reached marriageable age and a man took her out of this household, but there is also this tendency in human beings to try to force the nonconforming child into the mold of their tribe.

Further thoughts on this saint will be added at a later date.

Silver Rose

SAINT LIMBANIA - HERMITESS - AUGUST 16

 

SAINT LIMBANIA

Virgin, Hermitess

This post is a place mark, for the insertion of text at a later date.

King Saint Stephen I of Hungary - August 16

Saint Stephan of Hungary

977-1038

Saint Stephan was the husband of my first cousin, 29 times removed - Gizela von Bayern. They were the parents of Saint Emeric. I get a kick out of the variety of people to whom I have some familial connection. We call him a "shirt tail relation" when the person is related to us by marriage.

He was raised a Christian, as the son of a Magyar Chieftain named Geza, and Stephan was estimated to be between 20 and 22 when he succeeded him and became the last Grand Prince of the Hungarians in 997. Just the year before, he had married my cousin, Gisela of Bavaria, the daughter of Duke Henry II of Bavaria. Shortly after succeeding his father, he became the first King of Hungary in the year 1000, anointed by Pope Sylvester II.

Stephan was a tremendous supporter of the Christian faith during his reign, warring against various tribes and chieftains, building churches, advocating for the rights of the Holy See, and fighting against the pagan reaction to Christianity. It was concerning to me that he is reported .to have forcibly converted the Black Hungarians and was rewarded for it by Pope Sylvester II.

I often try to emulate virtues of the saints that are celebrated for the day, but I believe I will leave off the forced conversions! Saints make heroic efforts toward the ideal, and often there are miracles associated with them, but no human being is perfect, and the saints are not immune from this common imperfection.

If even the saints have failings, we can acknowledge our own without getting hysterical about it. None of us is so great that we are expected to be flawless. We all just do the best we can and hope for the best.

The way I figure it, if I can find a way to draw close to the saints, make them real to me and find some link to them, the inspiration may be greater. And I need all the help I can get. Sometimes, finding a point of commonality with a saint like King Saint Stephen of Hungary can be a challenge. I typically gravitate toward the mystics, the hermits and the anchoresses.  Contemplating Stephen's life story, I think I would like to emulate his strong faith, which he MUST have had in order to actually go to war over it, build churches and monastic institutions, and all the other efforts he made to normalize a new Christian culture in his country.

The Holy Right Hand of Saint Stephen of Hungary

Found to be incorrupt upon examination in his crypt

and thereafter "removed" and stored in this reliquary

Today I am coming to grips with some of my physical conditions that are gradually growing worse and making function difficult. I dropped my new computer last night and cracked the casing, so at only 3 months old, the poor baby has to go in to be fixed, which is terribly complicated because I have to back it up and encrypt it and arrange some kind of special security "key" to get back into it when it is returned to me. The man at Hewlett Packard who took my repair order has to call me back on Monday when the packaging is due to be delivered, and then he will walk me through it because I have hit the techno wall, something I thought would never happen.

I am breaking a lot of things lately. The long-term carpal tunnel syndrome has reduced the feeling in my fingers and makes me drop a lot of things. I can't count the number of phones I have cracked.

I used to get really mad at myself every time I dropped something or broke another phone, but I have decided to accept the reality of my situation. I am not being careless. I am not doing it deliberately. I am just old and broken - very broken, in some regards. I USED to be quite graceful, but no more. I have to accustom myself to the new reality and just deal with it. I am full of flaws, and there's little I can do about it. I used to be much more in charge of the direction of my life, but with the disabilities and aging, this is no longer the case.

Meanwhile, I hope you are enjoying these diary entries that juxtapose the saints with my daily doings. I hope to bring you into my life in these musings. I know I have nothing particularly grand to expound, but we are all together in this ordinary, daily grind of life, and it is in the ordinary production of our duties that we exhibit our faith. Saint Stephen did this in his kingly way, dealing with matters of state. and we do the same thing, but on a much less grand scale.

I hope this day finds you happy and serene.

God bless you all.

Silver Rose

Copyright (c) 2021

All rights reserved.

OUR LADY, REFUGE OF SINNERS - AUGUST 13

When I was in the Vedanta (Hindu) convent, I distinctly remember reading in many of the publications the idea that there is no such thing as sin. This was a popular idea among them, developed in many lectures, books and advertisements. Their theology is much different in this respect than the Catholic faith.

Purely from a psychological perspective, it may sound like a relief to have our sins dispensed with so easily - by pretending they don't exist - but it seems to me that being reminded that humans are not perfect goes a long way toward helping us cultivate humility, which is an absolutely necessary virtue for anyone who is serious about their spiritual life - no matter which religion has captured your heart.

"Humility is the foundation of all the other virtues hence in the soul
in which this virtue does not exist there cannot be any other virtue
except in mere appearance."

- Saint Augustine

It's obvious to most of us that if we can make an honest appraisal of ourselves in preparation for confession, it's very helpful to establish ourselves in Truth. If you don't know that you need forgiveness, you won't seek a refuge. You won't feel the need, and that would be a mistake because you lose the psychological advantage of being able to wipe the slate clean and start fresh. As long as our repentance is honest and sincere, we get unlimited "do overs."

To be clear, humility is not the smarmy display of self-loathing or obsequiousness that is sometimes exhibited by con artists hoping to create the false image of humility in order to use others for their own purposes. Humility is not a personality trait of the bashful, "aw-shucks" kind that we sometimes see. Nor does it require that we pretend we know nothing, or that we have no experience or expertise in any topic, because that would not be True, and Truth is something that The Divine wants to see in us.

As a very holy person once told me, humility is the correct appreciation for one's own strengths and weaknesses. His prescription was to compare our positive traits to those of The Lord in order to keep things in perspective. We are good, but we can never be SO good that it rivals the glory of God. I have found this advice very helpful over the years, especially since there are some so-called "spiritual" people who try to manipulate others by insisting that you become submissive to THEM. Religious institutions are not immune from people looking to advance their own status, from the smallest cult to the largest world religions, this will always be the case.

Why the meditation on humility? Because this week, on August 13, we honor Our Lady in the form of the "Refuge of Sinners" and I feel the need to prepare just a little bit in order to take advantage of it.

Christianity is partially built upon the Old Talmudic Laws of the Jews. In the kingdoms of Israel and of Judah, there were six cities of refuge where you could go and claim asylum if you had committed accidental manslaughter. Maimonides applied this concept to include all 48 of the Levitical cities. This is a simplistic explanation of an ancient process which harkens back even further to the time before the "one true God" to the days when various deities had certain territory and the cities in those territories were automatically cities of refuge for anyone belonging to that God. "Sanctuary" was claimed from a small area around the altar of that God and eventually to the entire city of that God. This caused obvious problems, as these cities became hotbeds of crime, so that eventually only 6 cities were officially recognized as legitimate cities of sanctuary. This is the background for the concept we are dealing with when using this name of Our Lady as the "Refuge of Sinners."

But, in the Catholic faith, Mary is the sanctuary - not the God. There is a tremendous amount of confusion about this, as outsiders see our devotion to her as a sign that she is a God of some type, an idea which is completely without merit. Mary intercedes for us with The Lord and walks with us, holding our hand as a mother would, accompanying us and adding her pleas and her tears to our own. In the rosary, we ask her to pray for us:

"Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now

and at the moment of our death. Amen."

We love Mary, in imitation of how Christ loves her. She is an exemplar of an ideal disciple, and the perfect mother who gives birth to God and Man. If God trusts her to guide and protect his only son, He can trust her motherly hand with all his adopted children.

The Marian observance of Our Lady, Refuge of Sinners, is yet another lens through which I try to look at the world and my place in it, in addition to the process of my spiritual life. I find that the Marian observances and the feast days of the saints, as they appear on our calendar throughout the year, are worthy guideposts along the way. Each observance helps encourage me in my daily struggles.

Currently, I am dealing with some vulgar hate mail I received because of a woman I'd had to fire due to petty thievery and lying. The hate mail says they have been stalking me online, which isn't the first time, though receiving hate mail through the U.S. Postal system was a new twist in the story. It was also surprising to me that this woman continues to nurture hatred and retaliation against an old disabled lady she took advantage of. I've made sure that, if anything happens to me, the police have her name and the name of friends and relatives to investigate.

"Revenge not yourselves, my dearly beloved, but give

place unto wrath, for it is written: Revenge is mine,

saith the Lord." ~ Romans 12:19, 

Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition (DRA)

The most important thing I feel called to do under these circumstances, aside from ensuring my safety, is to FORGIVE these people and pray for their welfare, as we are called to do when faced with enemies intent on trying to hurt us. I will appeal to Our Lady, Refuge of Sinners, to intercede for me at the throne of God, but also I ask her to intercede for these people, as well. 

Forgiving these people and praying for them is an exercise in the humility I talked about earlier. I am not perfect. I crave the forgiveness of God for my own sins. How could I possibly place myself above the Lord and judge them harshly while expecting loving forgiveness from God for my OWN transgressions?

I am temperamentally inclined to wish for the happiness of all people, which makes it easier to forgive these folks and pray for them. Even before converting to Christianity, I knew that if I could not wish to see everyone in Heaven, I would be trapped by resentful attachment. My attention needs to be on The Lord - not on the evil that others may do. Even if I feel frightened or sad or damaged in any way by the cruelty of some other persons, I positively WILL myself to want their happiness and wellbeing. It is a decision, not a feeling, and nowhere in the scriptures can I find the assurance that I will feel great about deciding to pray for people who deliberately set out to wound me. You CAN forgive people and wish them well while feeling whatever emotion is real for you at the same time. They aren't mutually exclusive.

Don't think that it has not cost me. It isn't "easy" to forgive people who have tried to damage me after I have behaved in a loving way toward them. I have PTSD, and these kind of dark doings tend to set it off. It has been a challenge to assuage all the symptoms, as well as keep up my typical prayers and meditations. 

"Sin is what often divides family members, because sin is divisive

by nature - separating souls from God and from neighbor. But love

is unitive, and Our Lady of Refuge has such love for her sinful 

children, that she draws us all together around her, even with our

other differences intact, to partake of a common mercy."

~ Rev. John Henry Hanson, O. Praem.

I pray that you all have a wonderful week and that this Marian observance finds us all sheltered together under the mantle of Our Lady, the Refuge of Sinners. May she help to soothe all our hurts, fears and sinful souls, and may she stand before God and appeal to Him for our benefit.

Silver Rose

Copyright (c) 2021

All rights reserved

P.S. I am not an expert on this devotion, but if you would like to know more, please take a look at my reference list of links, below.

REFLECTION ON REFUGE OF SINNERS

TITLES OF OUR LADY FROM THE LITANY OF LORETO

OUR LADY, REFUGE OF SINNERS from Roman Catholic Saints

MARY, REFUGE OF SINNERS - Don Bosco College

FEAST OF OUR LADY, REFUGE OF SINNERS - Anastpaul.com

PRAYER TO MARY, REFUGE OF SINNERS - Catholic News Agency

HOMECOMING FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD - Rev. John Henry Hanson, O. Praem.

SAINT MORWENNA - AUGUST 12 - BELOVED LOCAL HOLY WOMAN OF CORNWALL

Aerial view of the church at Morwenstow

and surrounding area.

I am particularly interested in obscure female saints whose background has something in common with mine or from whom I am descended. Sometime in the 6th century, today's saint settled in Cornwall, U.K., not far from where my Great Grandmother, Eliza Jane Oliver, was born. Saint Morwenna was born in Wales, to King Brychan, a legendary 5th century monarch of Breconshire in "mid Wales." (I also have familial ties to Wales, and am quite interested in that small country as well.)

King Saint Brychan

Morwenna's father is considered a saint, as are all 24 of his children (born by either 3 or 4 women, depending on the tale), and  there appears to be quite a bit of local enthusiasm and devotion for his memory, though little documentation of the facts. He was said to be an Irish prince who came to South Wales after his family "took charge" of the kingdom of Garthmadrun (now called "Brycheiniog in honor of this saintly king.) Local legend tells that he was both extremely pious and a good and generous ruler after the death of his father, but he was also fierce in battle, so it looks as if it was not a good idea to cross him. There are so many fascinating stories associated with him and his family that I could spend a good deal of time studying them, which I hope to do in future, but for today I will "stick with" his daughter Morwenna.

HENNACLIFF

After some time of schooling in Ireland, Morwenna lived at the hermitage of Hennacliff (the Raven's Crag) which was associated with the small town of Morwenstow, which translates to "Morwenna's holy place" and is at the top of a very high cliff that surveys the Atlantic Ocean and the perpetually stormy Atlantic sea. In a peculiar and almost magical atmospheric condition that occurs occasionally, one can just see the coast of Wales from this perch.

VIEW OF WALES FROM MORWENSTOW

Legend has it that the local people were extremely poor and could not afford to build a church or shelter for the traveling priests, so she built a rough church with her own hands by carrying stones up the steep cliff, and her iconography often makes reference to this. She stopped to rest at one point, and a spring is said to have gushed up from where she lay her holy head. This spring, which has run dry long ago, is just west of the church.

Icon of Saint Morwenna

carrying stones to build her church

Morwenna does not appear to have retained much of the resources or trappings of her royal birth, otherwise she would not have had to carry these stones herself in order to provide a church for the people of this area. Of course, this is not surprising, as she was unmarried, and women rarely (if ever) inherited much of any wealth from their fathers, which is why marrying off one's daughters was such a preoccupation of parents during this time. I am guessing that the hermitage was granted to her by her father, but I will have to search through all the myths and the mists of time to get an answer on that score.

Morwenna's Spring

(now dry)

I have found a lot of pictures of this area on the internet, and the stark beauty of this place is remarkable, inspiring many to both the heights of spiritual feeling and to beautiful reams of poetry. The poet Robert Hawker (1803-1875) was ordained in the English church in 1831 and was curate of the church at Morwenstow, where he remained until his death. (Prior to his residency, there hadn't been a vicar in that place for a century!) Of particular interest to me is that he became a Catholic on his death bed in 1875. So, here is another fascinating person that I need to add to the list of those I wish to study in future.

Church at Morwenstow

Parson Hawker gave Christian burial to shipwrecked seamen who washed up on the shores of his parish. Before his time, the sailors were either buried forlornly on the beach or, more often, left to the sea and its creatures. Hawker describes the celebrated shipwreck of the Caledonia in his book, Footprints of Former Men in Far Cornwall.

I would have loved to have known this eccentric man who loved bright colours. While most clergymen were wearing nothing but black, the only black he wore were his socks! From driftwood found on the beach, he built a hut ("Hawker's Hut") on Hennacliff, where he spent many hours writing poems and letters. 

When one imagines a hermitage, it looks FAR more like Parson Hawker's little driftwood shed than my city apartment in Albuquerque, but we contemplate where we find ourselves, and it's more important to consider what's going on inside the person's soul than the prettiness of the environment. Granted, it IS so much easier to meditate in a serene place with beautiful simple furnishings but our crosses are many and varied, each working together to render us humble in some fashion.

Hawker's Hut

As gorgeous as her hermitage in Cornwall was, Morwenna retained a great love for the Wales of her birth, and when she lay dying, she asked Saint Nectan to raise her up so she could see its lovely coast. She is buried at the church in Morwenstow.

On the north wall of the Morwenstow church there was discovered a painting of her, clasping a scroll to her chest with her left hand, and her right arm raised in blessing over a monk kneeling before her. The description of this image speaks to me of the regard in which people held this saint but also her vocation of hermit and selfless builder of the church.

Saint Morwenna lays her head down to rest

from her labors carrying stones uphill

and a spring gushes forth from that place.

To be a hermit is something that anyone can do. It is simply the vocation of someone who has decided to live apart from society for some time for the sake of God - to be in union with Him, typically immersed in long periods of silence. Like Saint Morwenna, hermits are not without work or labor of some sort, which depends on the particular charism of the hermit and the requirements of their condition, and they are not entirely without human companionship at all times. We are not allergic to other human beings. We are just living a life that naturally lends to spending more time alone with God than most people have.

One does not need permission to be a hermit or have this kind of vocation. It does not have to be officially recognized and there are no rules for this kind of thing except that one is living alone in a completely chaste and contemplative life without husband and children in tow, intentionally dedicated to God. There are some historical exceptions to this, such as when a mother and daughter decide to ban together and live a religious life, but it is typically done in a solitary fashion for large periods of time.

Hermits do not always maintain a lifelong vocation. Very often, hermits were followed into the wilderness and great monastic institutions sprang up. It depends entirely on circumstance and the will of God.

The baptistry at the church at Morwenstow

When I became disabled nearly 20 years ago, and it was apparent that I had to spend the rest of my life alone, without outside work, I decided to make lemonade out of lemons by dedicating my life to God as a hermit. I had not intended to become a hermit before that time. In fact, I had wanted to start a Catholic ashram, but God led me to this mode of expression of my faith and it has stood me in good stead. My "work" has been various, from writing this blog to painting religious art, and I expect that it will continue in that vein, unless and until God leads me to some other expression.

Reading about the lives of the saints who lived as hermits, especially the women, gives me encouragement and hope for my own vocation, since I have no support for it, financially, spiritually or emotionally. With the exception of my Social Security Insurance income, gathered from payments over three decades of work, I have nothing. It is up to me to keep up my spirits by seeking out the companionship of the saints like Morwenna.

Very often, people who are called to the eremitic life are unique personalities whose circumstances, talents and/or physical conditions would not be accepted by the Catholic officials. If you are a creative type like the colorful Parson Hawker who never wore black and was a celebrated poet, you will stand out like a sort thumb. I consider myself very similar to him in that regard. But he and Saint Morwenna were also compassionate people who dedicated a lot of their time to the welfare of the local people.

There are two Canon laws that allow for a hermit to take official vows "in the hands of" the local bishop, but one does not have to do so. As long as we don't represent ourselves as official representatives of The Church, it remains a personal, private religious vocation. I am Catholic and I am a hermit, but I am not an "official" Catholic hermit. This is exactly what Saint Morwenna did in her life - as did many other saints whose example I follow. It is a long tradition in the Catholic faith. 

Modern Catholics, so accustomed to family life and the contemporary parish setup, have a hard time understanding this vocation that was QUITE common throughout our history. Not everyone is destined for family life. In many cases, the saints lived a family life and then, on the death of their spouse, they retreated to a hermit style of life. Being a hermit is not equal to being a misanthrope, yet many people cannot imagine that a person who likes people could possibly be a hermit! I've gotten comments like that, over the two decades I have lived like this. Saint Morwenna, and those like her, keep me encouraged when no one else understands.

It is a challenge for a disabled person to live this vocation. Disability equates to poverty and lack of ability to do many things for oneself, so begging becomes part of the life. I worked for more than three decades, but my Social Security income is not enough for all my needs, so I find myself asking for help constantly. If I wasn't humble before, I sure have to be NOW. I have become a simple beggar, and there is nothing I can do to change it except for continue to work on my writing and my art and hope to improve the income into the hermitage. In the meantime, I have a GOFUNDME campaign, which you will find:

HERE - GO FUND ME CAMPAIGN

If you are unsure about donating money, which is understandable in this day and age, please go to my Amazon wish list. They have my address and will mail to me direct:

AMAZON WISH LIST

I encourage everyone who wants to follow the hermit path to get in touch with me. We may live alone but it does not mean we can't support one another in our vocation. I would love to hear about how you accomplish yours at home.

May God bless us all - hermits or housewives.

Silver Rose

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Saints Morwenna and Nectar

SAINT OLAF OF SWEDEN

 

Coin minted for

King Olaf of Sweden

c. 980-1022

FEAST DAY: JULY 30

My 32nd Great Grandfather

I am fascinated by my Swedish ancestors, such as today's saint, King Olaf Scotkonung, my 32nd great grandfather and the first Swedish ruler known to have ruled both the Swedes and the Geats (a northern Germanic tribe that are progenitors of the Swedes.)

King Olaf stands at the point in history where the Viking Age gives way to the Middle Ages, as the first Christian king of the Swedes. His line is where I get my 4% Swedish DNA, and, as one of the smaller percentages in my DNA profile, I know proportionately less about this ancestral line and culture than the others that are mostly based in the U.K. 

Researching today's Saint of the day gives me an opportunity to learn a bit about this grandfather and his cultural milieu.  Many Americans, if they are able to trace their ancestry professionally, may find that they are also descended from this great king. 

Sweyn Forkbeard, my 5th cousin, 32 times removed, was his step father. His biological father was King Eric the Victorious and his mother was said to be Sigrid the Haughty, though there is some dispute about that. Encyclopedia Britannica claims that his mother was a sister of Boleslaw, the Christian king of Poland (also a sort of shirt tail relation to me.) 

A fair amount is known about Saint Olaf, which can't be said about previous kings, so we are lucky in that regard. I can't do his memory justice in my little online diary blog, and I recommend researching him online, if he interests you.  (When researching, it is important to keep in mind that there ARE some sources online that have compounded THIS Olaf with another who ruled Norway, so care should be taken. There are also warring factions among the scholars, so it may take some unraveling. For our purposes, I am mostly interested in his religious life and how he became a saint.)

When Saint Olaf converted to Christianity, he was the last Scandinavian king to do so, though the old Norse beliefs persisted well until the 12th Century in some areas, and his people resisted any effort to force Christianity on them. The coin that was minted when he ascended to the throne seems to indicate that he was already a baptized Christian when he became King, but it should be noted that there are some conflicting stories about the circumstances and timing of his baptism.

TEMPLE AT UPPSALA

Olaf did try to have the pagan Uppsala Temple torn down, but there were so many citizens still very much practitioners of the old ways that he was not successful in doing so. 

"Catholic Online" website claims that King Olaf was "martyred at Stockholm by rebels because he refused to sacrifice to pagan idols," but this tale is specifically refuted in a Wikipedia page that claims the story is spurious. Certainly Saint Olaf did what he could to try to convert his country after becoming king.

Because I come from a very small family that was anti-religious, and I am therefore a convert to Catholicism, I am keenly interested in my ancestors in Heaven.  It is my understanding that we can just as easily ask our ancestors in Heaven to pray for us as we can our friends and loved ones here on Earth because people don't actually die. Our bodies disintegrate and return to the earth, and our spirits live on. It makes me tremendously happy to think that I can pray to my ancestors in Heaven so that they will intercede for me at the foot of the throne of God.

The story of my grandfather Olaf reminds me again of the topic of DESTINY also.  Are you born into a family of kings and queens, your destiny laid out before you? At the very least, the opportunities and resources are present for someone like Olaf. He was born to be king.

Sometimes I wonder what I was born to do, but none of us need to consider it, really. Each person is born with tendencies and talents, and it is from these, combined with our resources and opportunities, that we determine our earthly fate - but it does not determine our FAITH. Once again, it is the inner life where we have perfect freedom. We may be shackled by circumstances, as far as what we will DO with our lives, but our FAITH is a free choice, thanks be to God.

Silver Rose

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written permission from the author.

SAINT ALPHONSA - JULY 28

 

Saint Alphonsa

19 August 1910 - 28 July 1946

Whenever I have a problem lately, I tend to turn to a favorite saint, or I will look on the calendar to see if there is a saint whose feast day is on that day who might have something to "say" to me in the way of inspiration. 

It is remarkable that the issue I'm wrestling with at the moment has to do with my health and my struggle to get decent medical care since my long-time doctor retired a few years ago.

Today I am focusing on Saint Alphonsa, the patron saint of those suffering from illness! Like me, as soon as she appeared to recover from one thing, she became sick with something else. She died when she was only in her 30's and miracles have been accredited to her intercession.

Reading about the saints puts everything in perspective on most days. Saint Alphonsa's suffering was great and she died when she was half my age, yet throughout all of it, she remained serene and focused on what really matters. She was focused on The Lord.

Alphonsa was born in India, and her mother died when she was only 3 years old, so she was raised by her grandparents. Her story touches on themes from my life. My mother did not die, but she was not a mother to me, and the only family relation that was kind to me was my grandmother, who lived in another city. Although my grandmother was a wonderful lady, she believed only in "the Golden Rule" and avoided religion. I was functionally alone, and I had no guidance.

On the other hand, little Annakkutty (her birth name) was bathed in the loving refinement of her grandmother's faith and devotion to God. How you start out in life has a huge impact on how you end up.

From the moment of her birth, Alphonsa's life was marked by the cross, but in a letter to her spiritual adviser, she once said, "Already from the age of seven, I was no longer mine. I was totally dedicated to my divine spouse." When I read this, it gave me pause, because when I was seven, I had no access to religious life. My parents had been divorced for two years and they both hated religion. I was attracted to it. Some relative had given me a book of Christian prayers for Christmas (probably my aunt), but I had no idea what any of it meant.

Saint Alphonsa was leading family prayers by the time she was five. Her grandmother was a devout and pious woman who transmitted the faith to the little girl. This is where  Saint Alphonsa's life story differs from mine considerably. I was just learning about Christianity and reading about the Catholic mystics when I was a few years older than the age Alphonsa was when she died at age 35! I was living in a Hindu convent when I was 35 and had never had any experience with Christianity.  It is ironic that I was in a Hindu convent at that time because Alphonsa was born and raised in a predominantly Hindu country, but became a Christian monastic.

Saint Alphonsa's funeral

She joined the Franciscan Clarists in 1935. She had wanted to enter earlier, but was put off because of her ill health. Again, she stayed focused. She endured her privations calmly.  

Last night, I spent some time contemplating the calmness and grace with which this saint met her sufferings and resolved to deal with my impending conflict in a similar manner.

This morning, before going to a doctor appointment in which I had to discuss certain issues having to do with my disappointment with my care, I reflected on Saint Alphonsa and resolved to deal with it in a way that was non-blaming and which encouraged a spirit of co-operation. Rather than find fault with the doctor who had made errors, I managed to offer a solution to the issues that focused on a change in their procedures and computer programs which would help many patients - not just me!

The doctor and I had a really construction discussion in which I discovered that I had perceived an issue that had ALSO bothered her! I brought with me a form I had created and shared with her as a sample of the solution I envisioned, and she later called in the head of the nursing department to take a look at my form and to talk with me. He ALSO agreed with all my observations about the downside of the current computer system and the way that it presented the patient's health information to the doctor. The information was incomplete and had caused some problems with administering my care.  

Furthermore, the doctor is not able to add any notes that help define the medical issues or extra information added by the patient. Erroneous information can't be erased or altered in any way! The computer output is written to communicate to the bean counters in the billing department but is terribly flawed at the point of medical service to the patient. I was giving them the patient perspective on something the doctors had already found interfered with their work.

I really think Saint Alphonsa helped me in handling this situation with diplomacy and constructive suggestion. Mostly, it was her example that gave me the courage to bring up this topic with my doctor. I'd had some anxiety about it, as others in that medical setting had already given me some pushback about it. They were dismissive of my interest in helping in this way, and did not want to participate, even though the patients would benefit. But Saint Alphonsa gave me the strength to continue on and discuss this with my doctor, despite the eye-rolling of others in her field. One of the women told me that this hospital organization was "huge" and I couldn't hope to make any changes. It was frustrating to be treated with disdain, certainly, but I didn't let it deter me. I cheerfully carried on.

Sometimes we can become distracted by our suffering and frustrations. At least, I know that I sometimes do. When faced with having to have a potentially fractious exchange with another person whose help we need,  the analytical part of the brain can be bypassed in favor of the emotional reaction. But we can keep this from happening with contemplation on the Divine. Of course, we all KNOW this, but most of us need reminding, as well as some tools to manage it. Contemplation is the Divine Tool!

Thanks to the inspiration of Saint Alphonsa, I walked out of my doctor appointment today feeling a great deal of satisfaction. I got my personal needs met while advocating for all the other patients at the same time and not irritating the doctor in the process, staying calm and centered all along.

May Saint Alphonsa inspire you and intercede for you at the feet of the Lord, and may you all be blessed.

Silver Rose

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