When I was in the Vedanta (Hindu) convent, I distinctly remember reading in many of the publications the idea that there is no such thing as sin. This was a popular idea among them, developed in many lectures, books and advertisements. Their theology is much different in this respect than the Catholic faith.
Purely from a psychological perspective, it may sound like a relief to have our sins dispensed with so easily - by pretending they don't exist - but it seems to me that being reminded that humans are not perfect goes a long way toward helping us cultivate humility, which is an absolutely necessary virtue for anyone who is serious about their spiritual life - no matter which religion has captured your heart.
in which this virtue does not exist there cannot be any other virtue
except in mere appearance."
- Saint Augustine
It's obvious to most of us that if we can make an honest appraisal of ourselves in preparation for confession, it's very helpful to establish ourselves in Truth. If you don't know that you need forgiveness, you won't seek a refuge. You won't feel the need, and that would be a mistake because you lose the psychological advantage of being able to wipe the slate clean and start fresh. As long as our repentance is honest and sincere, we get unlimited "do overs."
To be clear, humility is not the smarmy display of self-loathing or obsequiousness that is sometimes exhibited by con artists hoping to create the false image of humility in order to use others for their own purposes. Humility is not a personality trait of the bashful, "aw-shucks" kind that we sometimes see. Nor does it require that we pretend we know nothing, or that we have no experience or expertise in any topic, because that would not be True, and Truth is something that The Divine wants to see in us.
As a very holy person once told me, humility is the correct appreciation for one's own strengths and weaknesses. His prescription was to compare our positive traits to those of The Lord in order to keep things in perspective. We are good, but we can never be SO good that it rivals the glory of God. I have found this advice very helpful over the years, especially since there are some so-called "spiritual" people who try to manipulate others by insisting that you become submissive to THEM. Religious institutions are not immune from people looking to advance their own status, from the smallest cult to the largest world religions, this will always be the case.
Why the meditation on humility? Because this week, on August 13, we honor Our Lady in the form of the "Refuge of Sinners" and I feel the need to prepare just a little bit in order to take advantage of it.
Christianity is partially built upon the Old Talmudic Laws of the Jews. In the kingdoms of Israel and of Judah, there were six cities of refuge where you could go and claim asylum if you had committed accidental manslaughter. Maimonides applied this concept to include all 48 of the Levitical cities. This is a simplistic explanation of an ancient process which harkens back even further to the time before the "one true God" to the days when various deities had certain territory and the cities in those territories were automatically cities of refuge for anyone belonging to that God. "Sanctuary" was claimed from a small area around the altar of that God and eventually to the entire city of that God. This caused obvious problems, as these cities became hotbeds of crime, so that eventually only 6 cities were officially recognized as legitimate cities of sanctuary. This is the background for the concept we are dealing with when using this name of Our Lady as the "Refuge of Sinners."
But, in the Catholic faith, Mary is the sanctuary - not the God. There is a tremendous amount of confusion about this, as outsiders see our devotion to her as a sign that she is a God of some type, an idea which is completely without merit. Mary intercedes for us with The Lord and walks with us, holding our hand as a mother would, accompanying us and adding her pleas and her tears to our own. In the rosary, we ask her to pray for us:
We love Mary, in imitation of how Christ loves her. She is an exemplar of an ideal disciple, and the perfect mother who gives birth to God and Man. If God trusts her to guide and protect his only son, He can trust her motherly hand with all his adopted children.
The Marian observance of Our Lady, Refuge of Sinners, is yet another lens through which I try to look at the world and my place in it, in addition to the process of my spiritual life. I find that the Marian observances and the feast days of the saints, as they appear on our calendar throughout the year, are worthy guideposts along the way. Each observance helps encourage me in my daily struggles.
Currently, I am dealing with some vulgar hate mail I received because of a woman I'd had to fire due to petty thievery and lying. The hate mail says they have been stalking me online, which isn't the first time, though receiving hate mail through the U.S. Postal system was a new twist in the story. It was also surprising to me that this woman continues to nurture hatred and retaliation against an old disabled lady she took advantage of. I've made sure that, if anything happens to me, the police have her name and the name of friends and relatives to investigate.
The most important thing I feel called to do under these circumstances, aside from ensuring my safety, is to FORGIVE these people and pray for their welfare, as we are called to do when faced with enemies intent on trying to hurt us. I will appeal to Our Lady, Refuge of Sinners, to intercede for me at the throne of God, but also I ask her to intercede for these people, as well.
Forgiving these people and praying for them is an exercise in the humility I talked about earlier. I am not perfect. I crave the forgiveness of God for my own sins. How could I possibly place myself above the Lord and judge them harshly while expecting loving forgiveness from God for my OWN transgressions?
I am temperamentally inclined to wish for the happiness of all people, which makes it easier to forgive these folks and pray for them. Even before converting to Christianity, I knew that if I could not wish to see everyone in Heaven, I would be trapped by resentful attachment. My attention needs to be on The Lord - not on the evil that others may do. Even if I feel frightened or sad or damaged in any way by the cruelty of some other persons, I positively WILL myself to want their happiness and wellbeing. It is a decision, not a feeling, and nowhere in the scriptures can I find the assurance that I will feel great about deciding to pray for people who deliberately set out to wound me. You CAN forgive people and wish them well while feeling whatever emotion is real for you at the same time. They aren't mutually exclusive.
Don't think that it has not cost me. It isn't "easy" to forgive people who have tried to damage me after I have behaved in a loving way toward them. I have PTSD, and these kind of dark doings tend to set it off. It has been a challenge to assuage all the symptoms, as well as keep up my typical prayers and meditations.
~ Rev. John Henry Hanson, O. Praem.
P.S. I am not an expert on this devotion, but if you would like to know more, please take a look at my reference list of links, below.
REFLECTION ON REFUGE OF SINNERS
TITLES OF OUR LADY FROM THE LITANY OF LORETO
OUR LADY, REFUGE OF SINNERS from Roman Catholic Saints
MARY, REFUGE OF SINNERS - Don Bosco College
FEAST OF OUR LADY, REFUGE OF SINNERS - Anastpaul.com
PRAYER TO MARY, REFUGE OF SINNERS - Catholic News Agency
HOMECOMING FOR THE CHILDREN OF GOD - Rev. John Henry Hanson, O. Praem.
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