FIREPLACE DVD
ARTIFICIAL CHRISTMAS "CHEER"
(I use this charming DVD throughout Christmas. I can listen to
JUST the fire crackling, or I can add Christmas music in the back-
ground. It is wonderful fun.)
My last blog post anticipated a pause in my blog posting, with the intention to review how I wanted to operate and whether or not I would continue blogging at all.
I HAD anticipated more use of the Facebook platform's "NOTES" section, but just as I began to shift my blogging to that arena, Facebook suddenly and without notice eliminated the "notes" function and deleted all the notes I had written over the years, as part of their revamped platform that is, frankly, nearly useless because it doesn't accommodate anything but the most superficial of interactions. I am not happy about this, but I do not intend to waste any time complaining about it. I just have to adjust to the flow of reality and change the plan.
There are certainly more changes ahead. I continue to mull over the idea of starting a new blog or perhaps a YouTube channel devoted to teaching meditation. While these projects remain in the back of my mind, rattling around as possible long term projects, it has come to my attention that my aspirations exceed my abilities. As I have become more and more physically compromised by my chronic illnesses (despite special diet, exercise and supplements) many projects have fallen by the wayside. I have lost the vision in my left eye. The right eye may be next. I am keen to finish the art projects that rely on my vision and that can be done with one eye.
Even simple cooking is something of a bygone pastime, in that I no longer am able to coordinate a complete "meal" that gets cooked in a coordinated way. Typically, I will cook one casserole or other large item like a stir fry that I then separate into freezable containers, but it takes quite a bit of time to clean the kitchen afterward, something that I am not able to keep up with. I am embarrassed to admit that my kitchen is in chaos most of the time. During Covid, I don't have an attendant - so I do the best I can.
Yesterday, it took me all day to clean the kitchen and cook a very simple meal for Christmas. I had decided I would make a (very rare) complete meal and then send a plate to the next door neighbor who has Parkinson's Disease and recently broke her hip. I made a roasted turkey breast that I cooked on a platform of lemon rings, with olive oil and spices placed under the skin. I also cooked some cranberry sauce that came out too sweet. Last time, it was too sour. I'll get the recipe perfected, eventually. Baked potatoes and lovely steamed broccoli were the vegetable sides, and I made some yeast gravy that pairs surprisingly well with turkey.
By the time the meal was made, I was in physical agony and could barely enjoy it, but my neighbor tells me it was delicious "comfort food." I'm glad she enjoyed it, but I believe it will be the last time I do any serious cooking - until my attendant comes back, at least
When the Covid virus is less of a problem and we've all had the vaccine, I will feel safe enough to get an attendant back in the house again. In the meantime, I struggle to cope with my physical "issues.")
As a contemplative, why should I have any projects at all? Some people imagine that contemplative monks and nuns just float around the hermitage all day, praying and meditating and sometimes singing, but that is rarely the case. Always, there is work in the life of monks and nuns. One needs some kind of meaningful work, as a human being. It is just the way we are made. Our bodies and brains need work in order to function properly. It is part of what we are intended to do. Even someone who is disabled, as I am, must do some sort of work, even if we are not able to perform the typical functions of a paying job. SOMETHING has to grab our attention and involve a sustained period of concentration for the sake of producing some end result.
It is so surprising to me when people on the right wing of things, politically, make the insistent assertion that there are people faking illnesses so they don't have to work. Most people I have met enjoy working. Even jobs that are unpleasant often have some aspects to them that are appealing. Work, in itself, is not a negative. It is my understanding that several mental illnesses masquerade as "laziness." Often, people who are depressed will avoid work. I try to be compassionate and understanding about these things - and I recommend doing so.
Logically speaking, it isn't possible to fake an illness to the point of disability because the Social Security Administration sends applicants to their own government-paid doctors. You cannot fake blood tests. You cannot fake x-rays and cat scans. It's not like the disabled person can present a letter from his doctor saying he is disabled, and that's the end of it! NO. That is not how it is done. Yet there are thousands of people asserting that this is, indeed, what is happening and that our disability rolls are overfull because of these fakers. There is no evidence for this - but it is a popular lament.
Probably the same people are asserting that our votes are fraudulent also. It seems to be a theme these days. It feels very much to me as if people are trying to justify their prejudices and bigotry with fanciful tales of people "faking" all sorts of things. Our current president has never liked it when our journalists report on activities that he wants to hide, so he calls them "fake news." I find it too convenient, and it feels manipulative to me, especially now that he is claiming, with no evidence whatsoever, that the election is fraudulent. How the Democrats are so remarkably skilled that they successfully committed fraud with the presidential elections but totally failed to falsify the down-ballot that is really more important, is just beyond me, and none of the people claiming voter fraud can explain it, including the President who, despite all the experts telling him that he LOST the election by 8 million votes, still insists that he won and he won big. People who know him say that he isn't lying. He actually believes he won the election, which is scarier than the idea that he is deliberately lying.
Looking into the future, I don't think we will ever be rid of Trumpism, as he has many more supporters than I imagined he would have after witnessing all his crimes, lies and despicable cruelty. More than 70 million people voted for him and, while I will fervently resist taking on board Trump's malignant brutish approach to living beings, I can't face off against 70 million people. Trumpism is the direction that almost half of our people have, inexplicably, decided to take. Included among them are the white supremacists, the neo-Nazis, the conspiracy theorists, and the gun fanatics. Trumpism will live because Trump is actually a follower. He didn't invent any of the platform he espouses. He is a follower of other extreme right wing personalities. His hate-filled rants are the same stuff I used to hear on talk radio when I was driving around Northern California 20 years ago. People think that California is all liberal, but that is not true. Much of Northern California is reminiscent of The Deep South, as far as political leanings and prejudices are concerned. In fact, I believe this is the primary reason that California has undergone several serious attempts to split the state in half, between North and South - but even Southern California has a huge evangelical and right wing population. Orange County and Kern County are two that spring to mind immediately.
My goal is to detach my mind from political goings on as much as possible. For this reason, I remind myself constantly that, throughout history, people of God have lived under brutish regimes. Look at what Jesus and his people had to contend with! Aside from praying to GOD that the love of Christ find a home in everyone's heart, all I can really do is vote in a compassionate manner and publicly object against specific cruelties. I have resolved not to spend any more time on this than is absolutely necessary. Unless Trump follows through with his threat to declare martial law and take the presidency by force, which would be an actual coup against our government, I have resolved to turn my attention away from him as much as humanly possible. One of his criminal associates that he pardoned has been advocating for an overthrow of the government, and this frightened me for a couple days, but I don't believe there are enough people in the military who are willing to embark on a treasonous course of action. They're not allowed to follow illegal orders, and they all know it, therefore I intend not to worry about this.
What we DON'T want to do is become obsessed with our political situation, despite the fascination we may have from the shocking things that are going on. At least, this is not my particular vocation in life, and I would hope that anyone following a similar path would likewise rest their minds and hearts in the Lord, in imitation of the mystics who have gone before us. Remember that life will present difficulties, and then we will die. In fact, meditation on death is HIGHLY recommended - in the Christian faith AND other faiths, like some types of Buddhism.
My general New Year's Resolution is to continue to simplify my life, regulate my ascetic and spiritual disciplines, and purify the mind, more and more. The artistic projects are of lesser importance, but they represent some of those things I need to sweep out of my way in my quest for simplicity. In particular, the clothing project is on my mind. I have already given to the poor about a dozen trash bags of clothing that no longer fits me. When I finish making the dresses and purchasing and making a few ancillary items, I will have greatly streamlined a major aspect of daily life and even reduced the amount of laundry I have to do.
When I became disabled, people started giving me a lot of things and I sometimes find myself with piles of things I can't use, and I have to give them away. I have learned how to say "no" when I don't need something - but didn't learn it soon enough to keep my apartment from developing a bit of clutter. This year, one of the resolutions is to present a more serene environment to the gaze.
I am going to try not to add any more resolutions because I have already seen how much I tend to overload myself with projects - so I am going to leave it here, for now.
Blessings to all!
Silver Rose
Kaliprana
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