Today is one of those days on the calendar when the female saints are once again given short shrift. There is only one female saint among the handful of other saints and, as per usual, it is a young girl who died "protecting her virginity" and for whom that is all that is known except her name which, in this case, is Tanca. In fact, she is so obscure, I could not find a single painting pretending to represent her. So, the picture at the top of today's entry is of a really cute handbag, in celebration of National Handbag Day!
I would like to be able to say something wise or pithy about just why it is that there are so few women saints and why so many of the ones we DO know about died defending themselves from the importunities of men. I, myself, wish to know why - out of all the things that might be said about a person -THIS fact is what someone chose to remember about so many of these practically unknown saints.
Suddenly, I am reminded of how many times in my life men have taken credit for my creative process and my work. For instance:
When I was living in one of the Vedanta houses in Hollywood, just prior to joining the convent, I was put in charge of "All Gurus Day" which was sometimes known as "Fathers Day" and I did a huge amount of work, especially with my creation of a multi-media show. In addition to organizing and scripting the program, I created, completely from scratch, a beautiful slide show about the underlying influence of "The Unknown Saints among us," complete with a music score underneath it, which I linked to particular slides with the help of a machine that a borrowed from one of the Vedanta men who happened to have access to this equipment.
I wrote the script for this creation, engaged an actor, directed her voiceover performance, created the program for the other aspects of the event, and even created and printed the flyers advertising it. The theme for the show itself had been my creation. Indeed, the entire thing was my "baby."
It was a gorgeous show, very meaningful, with a peaceful vibe. It had been a huge amount of work over several weeks and I was happy with the result.
After the show was over, I was standing outside the temple next to the man from whom I had borrowed the equipment. As the audience came out of the temple, they automatically looked to HIM and congratulated HIM on the beautiful program! It was bad enough that these people gave this ancillary guy the credit, even though these people had SEEN me do the work, had all kinds of conversations with me about it, and to whom it should have been more than obvious who had created it. What really astonished me is that he took the credit, as if he HAD actually created it even though he did nothing! Incredible. I was so astonished, I just looked at him, wide-eyed, with my mouth agape, as one after another, people came out of the temple, turned to him, and praised him for the wonderful slide show. To this day, I am sure this guy, who did nothing but lend me some equipment, would tell you that he did it all.
Later, I created a Vedanta magazine that another man took from me, brought to a bunch of other men and it is being published to this day. Stealing the brainchild of a woman is nothing to them. It happens all the time.
This tendency of men to assume unto themselves all the credit for the work produced by, created by and inspired in the minds of women is infuriating. Humans have been civilized for thousands of years, yet the male of our species continues to act like the head of the chimpanzee troupe. Because men are typically physically stronger and bigger than the women, (and I suppose because of all the damn testosterone), they forcibly take all the prizes, earned or not, and then distribute the crumbs of the remainders to the women they automatically assume it is their right to dominate. It is one thing to be proud of one's own work, but to abrogate to oneself the creation of others is the height of arrogance - and this is more common than dirt.
If a woman dares to complain about any of this, she is fiercely admonished, her worth as a person attacked - and there are all sorts of derogatory names heaped on her head. Men employ these mechanisms of shame to keep us in line because women WILL often hesitate to challenge the man when he takes the credit for her work. We are often more retiring and we hesitate to demand recognition. And we don't want to abase ourselves by whining about it. What was I going to say to those people who came out of the temple and thanked that guy for all the work I did? "Hey, congratulate me! I'm the one that did it!" How would THAT have sounded? Would I have had to have a fight outside the shrine of the Lord? No. It wasn't my temperament.
Coincidentally, in monastic life, I've noticed a decided propensity to lauding character traits that are more typical of traits that men possess over those of women. For instance, in the Hindu tradition, the giving up of jewelries and cosmetics is part of the process of taking sannyas - but since when are these things customary for a man to use in any case? The cutting off of all hair is another one of these rather convenient "sacrifices." Most men wear their hair short, and women tend to let theirs grow. A large percentage of men go bald as they age, something over which they have NO control. How convenient of them to attribute spiritual currency to the shaving of their heads! It costs a man next to nothing to shave his head, but in many societies it is considered a great humiliation (and is often meted out as a punishment) to cut the hair of a woman.
Likewise, women are usually more interested in the "nesting" aspects of life than men. Many of us are clever about equipping and decorating our homes. A great number of us have a bit of the Mary Poppins about us and carry a virtual drug store in our handbags, from which we dispense hand lotion, tissues, aspirins, combs, and a vast array of useful items for our families.
So, when I notice that there are TONS more male saints than female saints, my experience with the male of the species tells me that THIS is not all there is to the story. I am quite sure that there are just as many female saints as there are male saints (maybe more), but the men push the women back into the corners and push themselves and their companions forward to take the praise and the prizes, which makes me far less interested in the male saints and also makes me suspicious of the wonderful characteristics attributed to them.
There are those who opine that monastic life isn't appropriate for women and there have even been some writers in the Eastern traditions who say that women who DO take up monastic life are really men after all. It's silly, I know, but I didn't create this situation. I mention this obscure text as another example of how it is assumed that being a man is so much better than being a woman. It is hogwash, of course.
I have to categorically state that I am not saying that all women are the same or that all men are the same or that the character traits I have attributed to some men or women apply to ALL men or women. I am not saying that. I would never say that sort of thing about any topic because there are ALWAYS exceptions that prove the rule in any topic concerning groups of people - in the same way I would never say that all Republicans feel, think, act and speak a certain way - or Democrats. Variety is not dead and we are not manufactured beings. I am just noting tendencies that occur in the vast number of cases - not all cases.
I'd love to say that I have a solution for all the societal ills to which I have alluded with regard to men taking all the credit and for pushing women down and so forth, but I don't. I have no idea what to do (if anything) about this situation. I'm just observing and reporting it.
But I do wish to say one thing. I would like to encourage women to avoid taking all the prejudicial treatment "on board." To whatever extent we are maligned and discounted, we owe it to ourselves to keep our hearts pure and unsullied by the negative traits assigned to us by the opposite sex.
In fact, this persistent degradation of women is so pervasive that women themselves will often malign others of their sex and perpetuate the negative stereotypes. I see this in the obsessional support Donald Trump has with a certain type of woman. They even look the same. Bleached blonde hair, false eyelashes, tight clothing, high heels, lots of makeup. I am not a psychiatrist, but I am sure a psychiatrist might have something to say about women who gush over a man who treats women like dirt, calls them vulgar names, and is especially hard on women who don't pump up the volume on their sex appeal.
So, I am winding back to "the unknown saints among us." I would like to send a message out to all my sisters in spirit. Please don't take it to heart. Don't buy into what the misogynists are saying about you. Remember that there are misogynists in BOTH camps and keep your own counsel. Don't pick yourself apart with self-loathing and bemoan how little like a man you are. True, we don't have a lot of role models to pattern ourselves after, but once you've done the best you can, take confidence in the fact that the Lord sees everything you do, say and think. He knows you in your innermost being and is acquainted with your best self. Hold onto that and ignore the constant slurs of an uneven, unfair and illogical society.
May we all be blessed.
Silver Rose
P.S. I was struggling before the pandemic hit. Now groceries are even more expensive than they were before, the dog needs to go to the vet for his yearly shots, my car has had no maintenance for several years, and the electric bill for a very hot summer was $200.00 EACH month! Please consider contributing to my Amazon donation list. They have my address and can mail to me directly.
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