SAINT ROMUALD - JUNE 19

 

Saint Romuald

951-1027

Canonized in 1582

Pray to him for reformation of the church and for monastic life

"Sit in your cell as in paradise. Put the whole

world behind you and forget it."

St. Romuald

Today, one of the saints we observe is especially remembered for reformation of The Church and for monastic life, in general, so I recommend this to my small group of hermits in my Facebook hermit group and for other hermits unaffiliated with us.

Just like most Americans of the middle classes and above, Saint Romuald spent his early years in pursuit of pleasures in the tenth century, unconcerned with his spiritual life or weightier matters. Then one day he saw something that horrified him and opened his eyes. He saw his father kill a relative in a duel over a disputed piece of land.

The story that comes down to us is that, after witnessing this bloody duel to the death, he initially meant to spend 40 days at a local monastery, in reparation for the sins of his father and his family. But somehow he never went home again. Something within him was profoundly altered. (Dear God, may we all be so altered!)

At the same time that the temperamentally impatient and newly convicted monk entered the monastery, reforms were well under way. He was not well liked because of his criticisms of the more lax monks, and I am guessing they were relieved when he was given permission to become a hermit in Venice - something that appealed to everyone, each for their own reasons!

This is where any similarity between me and today's saint ends. I tend to be more understanding how  difficult it is to maintain an ascetic life in our modern times, especially now that I am disabled and in pain all the time. I have thought for a long time that my body is forcing me to endure asceticism that is not natural to my temperament and probably the only way that I would ever willingly endure suffering! After all, I MUST accept the pain over which I have little control, so it is best to welcome it and use it for my salvation and in reparation of my own sins and the sins of others.

But St. Romuald grasped the acetic life without force, and after 20 years as a hermit, he was called out into the world to found more monasteries. It was not always easy. Just because Holy Roman Emperor Otto established him as the abbot of the first monastery he endowed in his kingdom does not mean that it was successful!  The monks were not having any of it, as they were too established in their comforts, and I don't know if they kicked him out or if he simply gave up on them, but within a year, he was gone.

There are many different types of monastic life in the Catholic Church, and the version that Romuald left us is rather appealing. A group of contemplative monks would live together in silence, peace and grace, sharing work, meals, mass, and prayer schedules, but in the spirit of deep silence and contemplation. Each had their own cell and lived in a sort of cooperative hermitage.

Romuald left 7 practices for his monks. Each hermit must:

    Love his cell,

    Be detached,

    Be self-observant,

    Diligently pray the Psalms,

    Maintain ultimate reverence before God,

    Practice strict asceticism, and;

    Grow more childlike in accepting grace when given.

Personally, it sounds like a tall order for people who must also live together and cooperate with one another in the running of the monastery.

This arrangement grew into the tradition of the Camaldolese monks. 

The calling of a hermit, though a relatively rare state, is crucial to the health of The Church, in that it supports The Catholic Faith in a deeply contemplative way while, at the same time, is a cenobitic, or group living, situation, where monks adhere to a life in common. The Camaldolese share this life in common with other monastics called to a solitary spiritual practice. An interesting combination.

Many older Catholics may find themselves living alone in their later years, for various reasons, but to live for God alone and transform that single life into somewhat of a hermit existence isn't easy. One needs some of the grit that St. Romuald appeared to have, and it doesn't hurt if we also have the intense conversion experience of our own, as he did.

But it is not required that we be accepted into an official INSTITUTION such as a Camaldolese monastery. Besides which, most monastic institutions only accept young folks.  What I am talking about is kicking it up a notch in the spiritual discipline department and taking one's later years SERIOUSLY in relation to our relationship with The Lord and with our own spiritual life.

No matter how we live our later years, whether as a strict hermit or a lesser and more modest version of it, let us all pray that, as we age, we grow into the unique, particular vocation that God desires for each one of us. Let us pray for one another, that we grow stronger in our commitments and practices, despite the vagaries of old age, just as St. Romuald did.

God bless us all!

Silver Rose

(c) Copyright 2024

All rights reserved.

ST. TERESA OF PORTUGAL - JUNE 17 AND 20

 

Saint Teresa of Portugal

b. 1126 - d. 18 June 1250

My 1st cousin, 28 times removed!

Saint Teresa of Portugal was the daughter of King Sancho I of Portugal, my 27th great granduncle.

Catholic Online (and other online sources) list today as her Feast Day, which it USED to be, but in the 1960's it was changed to June 20th so she can share it with her sisters Sancha and Mafalda who are ALSO saints. The three of them are my first cousins, 28 times removed. Their grandfather is my 28th great grandfather, Alfonso I, King of Portugal.

Alfonso I of Portugal

My 28th Great Grandfather

b. 1109 - d. 6 Dec. 1185

I'm not sure why her feast day was the 17th of June ANYWAY because she died on the 18th, but I am sure there is a story behind that somewhere. 

I WON'T be trying to get accurate information about her from Catholic Online because they've used Teresa of Avilla's portrait on Saint Teresa of Portugal's page. They do not appear to realize there was more than one female saint who lived in Portugal. Obviously, their researcher isn't all that good.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

                                                                                                             

They also gave my personal information and email address to an organization called "America Needs Fatima" that has been sending me hysteria-laden emails exhorting recipients to go to battle against several different things. Evangelization is passé, apparently. Now we are expected to force non-Catholics to live, think, behave and read nothing but what meets the approval of a certain group of Catholics. I've told them to take me off their list I never agreed to be on to begin with.

The Catholic Church has a LOT to apologize for these days, and we should be a bit more humble. Sometimes I wonder if these war-like Catholics get all militant and demanding as a type of smoke and mirrors, to distract from all our scandals.

Anyway, I will give you the straight scoop on Teresa of Portugal, to the degree I am able.

Teresa of Portugal married her first cousin, without permission. He was Alfonso IX, King of Leon and Galicia. They had a few children, then their marriage was nullified, ostensibly because of consanguinity, but I suspect the main reason was that they did not get permission. You know how those authoritarians are.

Alfonso went on to marry Berengaria of Castile. who was his first cousin once removed! One of their five children was my 25th great grandfather, Saint Ferdinand III of Castile. See how it is with these nobles? They intermarried so often, I am a cousin to myself 100 times over!

So - back to cousin Teresa of Portugal. She retired to the Monastery of Lorvao when the church dissolved her marriage. It had been a Benedictine establishment, but she changed it to Cistercian, which is more of a contemplative order. Right up my alley!

Abbey of Lorvao

She remained involved in political matters, however, coming out of the convent to help solve some complex disputes about inheritance. (Small wonder.)

I searched around quite a bit to try and get some idea of why this lady was sainted. I know that several confirmed miracles are required as part of the process these days. If I can find some information about her details, I will come back later and include it. I have searched several times over the last few years, and there is still nothing new on this score, which is a perfect example of how it is with the saints. If the exploits of the saint are not recorded during her/his time, then her/his story is lost in the mists of time.

In this way, research of the saints becomes somewhat a case of "what have you done for us lately?" This is due partly to the fact that people seem to gravitate toward the sensational. We love excitement and when given a choice between a serious topic and a bit of fluff that has some excitement attached to it, we often run to the thing we find entertaining.

This is what I have observed about Facebook, for instance. If you have some maniac writing a screed against the Pope and about how he is supposedly an "usurper" or a "heretic" or some such nonsense, you will see the Facebook version of a crowd collecting around the town lunatic. FORGET learning about the saints and how you can emulate them.  No. Most people would rather get themselves all enthused about the latest scandal.

It's when we take the lunatics seriously and we lose track of the human tendency to gravitate toward entertainment that we forget ourselves and get into real trouble. Understanding human beings, digging for the truth, and trying to bring it to the light, is a tedious process. We can't assume we even know what a person means when they speak the same language, as a matter of fact. Hardly anyone is exact in their speech, especially if their words are translated, such as the Pope's. He was born in Argentina, where a number of languages are spoken, the main language being Spanish, but Argentinian Spanish is different than the Spanish spoke in New Mexico or that which is spoken in Cuba. The slang is different. A few words are different, because of the other languages in a country such as Argentina, where many other languages are used there - not in the minority, but a enough to have an effect on the primary language.

Most people are too lazy to do the work necessary to make sure they have "it" right before they ride off into the sunset to bring the news to everyone that the Pope is a heretic because he said such and such a thing, which they extrapolate to mean something B-A-A-D. They're off and running with it. It is more exciting to spread the gossip than to knuckle down and thoroughly research and investigate, if something like that is even necessary - what to speak about the ability of some folks to do the kind of research necessary to establish truth under the circumstances. 

Some people love to spread bad news especially, because it captivates the attention of others, which is a big boost to the ego.

The next thing you know, there is some nun who is being advertised as a "seer" to whom God and the Virgin Mary and various saints are speaking and who have told her that the Pope is an "usurper," as if the guy strode into the Vatican with a conquering army, beheaded Pope Benedict and ascended to the chair of Peter. Please.

Jesus promised us that His Church would last the test of time. He said that the gates of Hell would not overcome it. He would not mislead us. God doesn't change his mind like some undisciplined human. This Pope was chosen the same way Popes have been chosen, with confidence, for more than a thousand years.

Don't you think it odd that the same type of conspiracy theories about American law and justice are being bandied about by Americans in regard to the legitimacy of our POPE? 

I cannot tell you why this infectious fad has hit Americans so strongly. But I CAN tell you that Jesus can be trusted, and our Holy blessed Catholic Church can ALSO be trusted.

This is not to say that mistakes are never made. I am quite sure there are many small errors being made at the Vatican, as there is everywhere else in the world - because anywhere human beings are involved, there will be errors. But the organization is protected from deadly error. 

Instead of catering to our desire for entertainment and ease and mouthing off about the defects of the current Pope, I recommend that we each take a good hard look at our own behaviors, and especially our spiritual disciplines. How is your prayer life? Are you praying the Angelus three times a day? Are you meditating at least 15 minutes a day? Are you doing a daily rosary? Are you meeting all the prayer commitments you have made since becoming Catholic?

May we all be blessed!

Silver Rose
Silver Cottage Hermitage

************************************************************

P.S. All of the blog posts I write are independently researched and written by me and all of them are protected by legal copyright and may not be copied for any purpose by any person for any reason, so please just enjoy them here and leave them here where you found them.

(c) Copyright 2022, Silver S. Parnell

All rights reserved.

No copying for any purpose by anyone is allowed.

                                                                                                              

SAINT AMELBURGA AND DONALD TRUMP

                                          

Saint Amelberga

Died about 690

My 1st cousin, many times removed

I originally wrote this blog two years ago and hesitated before resurrecting it from the dark confines of the "draft" bin because it discusses modern politics, and I try very hard not to write too much about it, but I am struck by the fact that STILL, two years after writing this post, Donald Trump is STILL a hot item in the news because he was just convicted of 34 Federal crimes he committed in his effort to hide his payoff to a porn star in order to shift the result of the elections in 2020. It didn't work, he lost, his crimes were discovered, and 12 jurors convicted him unanimously. Trump is falsely claiming that President Biden set the New York justice system on him, but that ISN'T how the justice system works, especially considering the separation between the Federal and the State courts. He is also falsely claiming that he was not told what the underlying crime WAS, which is ridiculous, because I know what it was and I am nobody.

This comes right on the heels of losing that libel case that E. Jean Carrol brought against him with regard to the sexual assault he committed against her at Bergdorf Goodman's years ago. He was convicted of THAT also, and is contesting the verdict and the $84 million fine.

There are more than a few folks among my acquaintances and friends who actually still like Donald Trump and, although I just don't understand it, that is no reason upon which to base a friendship, so we gamely stick with one another, despite the lack of compatibility on that score. Politics is inflammatory, but like all fires, the incidents are temporary. People come and go. Scandals come and go. We ARE faced with rather big and somewhat dangerous scandals at the moment, but even World War II ended at some point, right? We just have to hang on to one another and hope that it ends up with our country still intact. If you can't bear to hear anything unattractive about Trump, I suggest you stop reading here, so you can save your amygdala from exploding.

***

Typically, when I write these diary entries, I am just concentrating on the saint of the day, preferably someone I am related to or who has some role in inspiring me in my spiritual life. News of the day is not usually part of that, but last night (2022) I watched the first televised hearing about the January 6th attempt to overthrow our government, and I simply can't write a diary entry without including it because it is not "business as usual."

A PIVOTAL MOMENT IN HISTORY

The Trump era and its culmination in the violent insurrection will be a pivotal moment in the history of the United States and possibly one that heralds the death knell of American democracy, depending on how this investigation shakes down and whether or not the responsible parties are held to account. It is distressing to be living through this epoch, and it impacts all our lives to some degree, especially on the heels of the Covid pandemic, which is still active.

The committee found that Donald Trump was at the center of the conspiracy to overthrow our government. He fueled it with the utterly ridiculous "big lie" that he supposedly won the last presidential election. All of the election officials and all of the judges to whom Trump has appealed have found that there is NO evidence of any fraud that would change the results of the elections. As a matter of fact, it was the other candidate who won by many millions of votes. It wasn't even close.

The major television channels were showing the hearing last night, but Fox, in a desperate bid to keep their viewers from being exposed to the truth, ran an ADVERTISEMENT FREE, hour-long Tucker Carlson show in which he pushed the completely false and debunked conspiracy theory that the FBI was behind the insurrection and the violence. They lost millions of dollars of advertising revenues just to keep their viewers from channel surfing. They obviously wanted to keep them from learning the facts.

(Fox "News" is a streaming channel for subscribers and, since it is not on the public airways, the FCC does not regulate them. Therefore, they can lie as much as they want because they have NO journalistic ethics to which they must adhere.)

In addition, there are interviews with active participants, such as members of the group that calls itself "the Proud Boys" in which they detail how they were organized and prepared for the attack on the Capital, well in advance of the day. They relied upon then-president Trump's marching orders.

Many law enforcement personnel were injured, some were killed during the insurrection, and 4 officers committed suicide immediately thereafter, it was such an overwhelming experience for them. The videos and testimony retriggered my PTSD all over again.

SEDITIOUS CONSPIRACY

The thing that is really bothering me is that nothing has changed since January 6, 2021, and Trump's followers that are in positions of power are still trying to subvert American Democracy, in the Senate and elsewhere. They continue to spread ludicrous disproven conspiracy theories generated and encouraged by entertainers like Tucker Carlson, despite knowing the truth. It is a cynical, dishonest bid to hold onto power by energizing and manipulating the emotions of people who trust them.

Few Republican officials have had the courage to stand up against the personality cult of Trump and his power-mad allies, despite nearly all of them privately expressing the knowledge among themselves that Trump's "big lie" is, indeed, false.

While in office, Trump packed the court and government agencies with partisan, unworthy shills loyal to him instead of our system of governance. Few have done the right thing and called him to account for his attempt to overthrow our government because they owe him and, in many cases, were part of that seditious conspiracy. 

So far, only foot soldiers involved in the conspiracy and insurrection have been arrested and charged. This process is ongoing. Hundreds of insurrectionists have been charged. More than a thousand people have been interviewed. But the real movers and shakers behind the conspiracy, the ones who bear the MOST responsibility, have gone free and mostly untouched, thanks, in large part, to the court packing and placement of Trump allies in key government positions. 

I do not need to provide the storylines and details behind this situation because the facts are available to everyone, provided one is interested in the actual news, rather than nutty conspiracy theories dished out by entertainers and callow, power-mad politicians.

Powerful Washington  players admit the truth behind the scenes, but they dutifully follow Trump in public, including his daughter, Ivanka. This is where it gets interesting for me personally and gives me something to think about with regard to the influence of family members on one another. Ivanka Trump knew that Bill Barr was right and that Trump's story about the election being stolen from him was a lie. (Trump himself knew he did not win.) But in public, Ivanka kept up the façade. 

SAINT AMELBERGA'S FAMILY

As I have mentioned before, it is not unusual for saints to run in families, just as it is common for liars to proliferate in other types of families. The values and aspirations of family members are communicated to descendants and, while there is no guarantee that everyone in a devout family will be of good character, I find it very interesting to study these holy families. I often imagine what it would have been like if my father and mother had been less narcissistic and had stayed together and taken us girls to church. I like to imagine that my dozens of sainted ancestors and cousins may have been praying for me, in order to make up for the deficits of my immediate family.

Therese of Lisieux is a member of one of these distinguished families. As a Carmelite saint, she is one of my favorites.

Saint Therese of Lisieux

Saint Amelberga was said to be either the niece or the sister of Blessed Pepin of Landen, my 39th great grandfather, making her my first cousin, 39 or 40 times removed. Due to the dates of death, I veer more toward her being the niece of Blessed Pepin.

Blessed Pepin had three children who were sainted: 

Saint Begga of Landen, my 39th great grandmother
Saint Bavo, aka "Allowin," my 38th great uncle
Saint Gertrude of Nivelles, "my 38th great aunt

My 39th Great Grandfather,

Blessed Pepin I and wife

Saint Itta

Blessed Pepin was, like Donald Trump, a political figure, but instead of lying, manipulating and inciting violence in order to grab power, as Trump did, Blessed Pepin falls on the side of holiness. 

The historical record shows that, at great risk to himself, Pepin took the king to task for his adulterous lifestyle, resulting in temporary banishment from court. Trump, in comparison, is a proudly vulgar man who bragged about grabbing women by their genitals and was credibly accused of rape and sexual assault by nearly 20 women, 17 of whom sued him in a court of law. His comment that if Ivanka was not his daughter, he would be dating her, gave most responsible mothers the shivers.

Pepin suffered for his holiness but would not abandon his principles in order to retain power, whereas Trump and his cronies are willing to resort to violence and fraud. Even today, Trump is loudly proclaiming the fantasy that he won the last election by a landslide and that it was "stolen" from him. Even his family knows it is a lie, but they present a united front to their fans.

Pepin defended the interests of the Church and worked to promote the spread of Christianity, rather than the spread of conspiracy theories that the loudly vocal far right wing is now doing.

Amelberga, as a member of this illustrious and holy family, had a lot of beautiful examples to follow. All five of her children were declared saints. She and her husband each retired to monasteries after the birth of the youngest. Amelberga was given the veil by Saint Willibrord of Echternach, who himself was the son of ANOTHER saint. (Another family dotted with saints!)

Not a lot is known about these early saints of the 7th century. Amelberga is a patron saint known to protect people from arm pain, bruises and fever! Sounds like a good saint for those inclined to sports injuries!

Saint Gudula

One of Amelberga's daughters

CONFUSION ABOUT SAINTS AND THE MYSTICS

A friend of mine recently suggested that I try to make friends with other like-minded Catholics with an interest in prayer and the mystics, but every time I join one of the groups I find the strangest things posted there. I have had to leave the last Catholic group today. The posts sound more like THE OCCULT than Catholic mystics. The most recent was a long exhortation about how the author hunts and kills DEMONS from people's houses and other locations. More than a bit frightening.  I don't like to think about Satan or his demons and stay as far away from them as possible, including keeping my mind on God, our Blessed Mother, the angels and the saints instead. 

In many of these groups, Catholics proclaim the bizarre and untrue idea that all the other religions are "Satanic." They think this of the New Age religions in particular, but also believe it of Hinduism and Buddhism, and it simply is not true. In fact, our Catholic Catechism says right in there that if someone behaves like a Christian, he or she is actually a part of the faith, unbeknownst to even themselves!

There are plenty of saintly people of other religions whose virtue is easy to recognize.

Our dear Lord is not as stupid as some people make Him out to be. He sees into people's hearts and knows when someone is sincerely seeking Truth. Our Lord, who is all beauty, all truth, all blessedness certainly recognizes the sincere heart!

Many folks have been turned away from the Catholic faith by the exclusiveness of some Catholics. I myself was turned away in the late 1980's because I had been divorced 13 years previously. That is NOT the rule of The Church, but I've told that story before, so there is no need to go into it again here.

Other people have been repelled by The Church's many scandals. It is our own fault if they go to other religions when they see how we have hidden the child molesters and protected them.  If anything, we should be humble. Instead, we sashay around the internet blabbing about how other religions are "satanic." It is ludicrous.

Well, it is a difficult time for us all, and we need to hold onto the Lord as best we can. In addition to my gradually increasing daily pains, I am in the midst of a struggle to maintain my apartment in the face of some really unjust rental increases that the City of Albuquerque has laid onto the backs of the poor (me among them.) On top of that, they have told me they are removing my access to my parking and my garage, impeding my ability to leave and enter my residence. Please pray for me, as I pray for you.

God bless us all!

Silver Rose

HOW I ENDED UP AS AN URBAN HERMIT

1ST PLACE

SENIOR DIVISION

ALBUQUERQUE APARTMENT ASSOCIATION

CITY-WIDE POSTER CONTEST

2024

MONETARY AWARD - $250.00 

I did not plan to spend my life as a religious hermit in an urban environment. I had no plan at all when I left my abusive home at 17, with nothing but the clothes on my back and hippie sandals on my feet.

Despite my family being hostile to all religion, especially Catholicism, I had always been interested in God, and even though homeless, I was determined to somehow continue to pursue Him as best I could.

I crawled out of homelessness by taking advantage of my typing skills (a skill I had learned in High School.)  I was a beautiful young woman, and the only kind of help that anyone wanted to give me was not the type of help I wanted to take. Things were looking grim when the Scientologists scooped me up and gave me a place to stay, "employing" me as a communications secretary, which was mostly typing letters to people we hoped would join us. I worked 11 hours a day, 7 days a week. They gave me room and board and $10 a week as an "allowance."

In the religious sphere, I went from Scientology to Buddhism to Hinduism (Vedanta.) I was searching for the mystical heart of religion.

Photo by Jake Blucker

via "UNSPLASH"

In my working life, I had to support myself as best I could, usually as a legal secretary. I type 120 words a minute, and I usually understood the legalese and legal rationales. In my mid to late 20's, I spent a short time working at a TV studio during the day and writing stories for an episodic television show at night.  But when I was exposed to some horrifically tawdry and immoral aspects of "Hollywood", I became demoralized and just could not remain there. (The worst part of it was that it was my own father who was bragging loudly about having relations with starlets in his office, with the door unlocked, despite having his third wife living with him. I was horrified and felt defiled by having to hear this filth coming from a parent. It destabilized me.)

What followed was a series of very distressing and life-altering events that nearly killed me. My search for God, and peace and blessedness was kicked into overdrive. Fast on the heels of this pivotal moment in my life story, I searched through the Yellow Pages and found an organization that sounded very much as if they would teach meditation: the Vedanta Society.

Some time after that, my stint with the Vedantists ended up with me living in the Hindu-based convent that had been designed in imitation of the Carmelite convents of the Catholics. Unfortunately, the women were terribly mean. The swami trusted me, but they were jealous of that, on the one hand, (later admitting that they were afraid I would "run the convent from the bottom" on the other.)  I did everything I could to show my love to them, and they were not having any of it. Between the stress of their constant perturbation, and all of the physical work, my body took a real "hit" and I was in a wheelchair for some weeks. 

Divine Mother

by

Sonika Agarwal

via Unsplash

While living as a nun, I started reading the beautiful works of and stories about the Catholic and Orthodox saints and "doctors" of the church, and I just fell in love with the whole thing. I came to realize that every spot of emptiness and incompleteness that was lacking in the Vedanta faith, was answered and filled with the Catholic. I intended to leave the Hindu convent and try to enter a Catholic one. In any case I knew that I could not, indeed did not believe in the Hindu deities. The formless God of the Vedanta did not answer the yearnings of my heart.

Photo by Nick Castelli

on Unsplash

As told in more detail elsewhere, I did try to become a Catholic nun, but I could not even get them to BAPTIZE me because of ignorant prejudice. The nun in charge of the class had this weird idea that because I had been divorced after my stint with the Scientologists, I would have to endure several years of a Catholic annulment before baptism. She was completely wrong and completely adamant (as wrong people usually are!) 

At that time, however, I did not know how to process it. I didn't know any Catholics or other Christians and had no clue who to approach to fix this ridiculous impasse. I had left the convent to become a Catholic nun, and was distraught. I decided to get baptized by the Episcopalians and put aside my strong feelings for a monastic life. I wondered if God was telling me that He did not WANT me in that life, that He wanted something else. Was I supposed to be married? I wanted to do what He wanted for me.

Meanwhile, I hadn't a cent to my name, no one to help me get my secular life re-established, and a lot of work ahead of me, so I got on with the task of finding employment, working and saving. I was 40 by this time, and it was too late to think about college or career. I worked as a litigation secretary and office manager and did the best I could, taking the bus from Hollywood to Beverly Hills and back again, every day, until I saved enough money to buy a car.

BUS INTERIOR 

BY ASH GERLACHE 

ON UNSPLASH

One of the Vedanta devotees had offered to share her apartment with me, and it wasn't until after I moved out, a year later, that I learned she had charged me for the entire cost of the rent, while she tormented me with her bossiness. At one point, she moved her bed into the living room so she could use the master bedroom as her private "meditation" room, even though we lived half a block from the Temple. I was stuck, meanwhile, in a tiny, closet-sized room with no air conditioning and a super tiny window at the top of the wall, restricted from entering or leaving the apartment every time that woman took a nap. It was frustrating experience that saddened me. I had thought we were friends. ( I did not know, at that time, that I suffer from Asperger's Syndrome, which is an antique term for a high-functioning version of autism. Other folks can often sense our vulnerability and gullible, loving natures. They know we can be conned into all sorts of things just by befriending us.)

Every time I think about this particular disappointment with a person who pretended to be "helping" me with one hand while she picked my pocket with the other, I just had to remind myself that this type of selfishness is common in the world. Even though this woman did not have to work to pay her rent, for some reason, she had taken advantage of me when I was in a very vulnerable position. She had worked a little in the past, apparently, and she had wealthy parents who supported her in some fashion. She did not need to take advantage of a destitute woman with no such support.

Reading about the love of Christ while enduring the selfish cruelty of the Vedantists was a real learning experience.

I was seeking God, peace and blessedness, while my contemporaries were pursuing professional careers, money and real estate. The practical difficulties that I have at age 70 would have been much easier to accommodate if I'd taken another route and gone after money instead.

Some years after leaving the Vedantists, my physical problems that had first become visible while I was in the convent, worsened and multiplied, and within the next 10 years, I was fully disabled and had to stop working outside the home when I was 49.

Photo by Zachary Kyra-Derksen

on Unsplash

So, shortly after moving to the high desert of New Mexico from California, I found myself too disabled to work before I was even 50. I had not had time to even properly accustom myself to the town before I became home-bound. The monastic inclinations I had put aside a decade earlier began knocking on the door of my consciousness in full force. I decided to make lemonade out of lemons by dedicating the remainder of my life to God, as an independent hermit. Within three years, I was able to enter the Catholic Church, after decades of wanting to do it.

So - this is how I find myself rather poor, unmarried, without family to support me, and without any religious assistance either!  My pursuit of the Divine has left me financially bankrupt but spiritually rich, and I wouldn't exchange my wisdom and experience for all the money in the world, despite the great difficulties I endure on a daily basis. Nobody ever said that sickness and poverty were going to be easy.

Many women who enter religious life have financial support of family or institution. Some families are happy to support them in it, and I have known quite a few who, while professing the life of poverty, are actually quite wealthy. I don't begrudge it of them because they need that support, as the men are in charge of all the purse strings in this world. I'm glad these women have the support. I am just not one of them. I need to be clear about that.

I was supposed to have been one of those ladies supported by family money, except that, after my father got Alzheimer's, I was written out of my father's will by a woman he had cheated on during their entire relationship. Then he died under suspicious circumstances, and other people are now spending my inheritance.  It is a "morality play," but in real life. The moral is: Don't cheat on the woman in your life because, if you get dementia or another illness that makes you vulnerable, you do not know how your inamorata may retaliate.

My entire life, he had consistently told me, "when I die, kid, yer gonna be rich!"  The doctor that signed his death certificate never saw him, in life or in death, according to my sister. His body was quickly cremated, before I even knew he had passed on, and what could I do about it? No one saw the body before the evidence was cremated.

I had planned to get myself through my difficult, pain-wracked disability and ultimate death with the inheritance that my father had promised me for decades and, at first, the scam perpetrated on me and my poor father was a terrible blow.  But I keep telling myself that the humiliation of being forced to beg for survival is good for the soul. 

In February of 2023, I celebrated 20 years of living as an independent monastic solitary. I didn't know at that time what form my vocation would take after that. It is very difficult to continue without support, particularly since I am physically suffering. 20 years of unremitting physical pain, due to inherited arthritic conditions, a light version of ehlers danlos,  and other physical damage, have taken their toll, but probably no more so than if my asceticism had been artificially practiced with a hair shirt and continual voluntary fasts.

PRESENT DAY SITUATION

I am writing a novel and producing some paintings. I have sold both types of art in the past, as well as jewelry items I produced. So I hope to have a better financial condition in future, if possible. In the meantime, if you would like to help support a poor hermit's spiritual and creative contributions to the world, the "DONATE" button above, on the right, under my photo, still works. BUT IF YOU YOURSELF ARE LIMITED IN FUNDS: PLEASE DON'T STRAIN YOUR BUDGET.

Otherwise, I am very grateful for any help you can give. I have an Amazon wish list for these things, AS WELL AS art supplies necessary to make paintings, rosaries and jewelry for sale. I will research how to sell them online, but I am beginning talks with the manager of the parish gift store for the production of personalized bookmarkers, bracelets and painting .

My parish church is located in the oldest part of town and was built in the 17th century! We have a bookstore that is open throughout the week and which is very popular with local Catholics, and many visitors to our town. The manager purchases most of her wares from local artists.

Amethyst & Pewter Celtic Rosary

St. Margaret of Scotland Centerpiece

Thistle charm

Paternoster beads: silver tree-of-life

(Made for my use/practice piece)

Amazon has my address and will mail to me directly, once the items have been paid for. Just click on the following link:

AMAZON WISH LIST

As mentioned elsewhere, my landlord (the City of Albuquerque) which is SUPPOSEDLY renting apartments under a "low income program", has suddenly and drastically bumped up the prices of the rent in this complex where I have lived for 20 years, and I am sadly distracted by the need to find the money so I can continue to afford to live here.  I was ALREADY having a difficult time when they gave me this distressing news.

In addition to the financial strain, my landlord has demonstrated ignorance of the Fair Housing laws and a real antipathy toward the idea of accommodating disabilities. I have had to file a HUD complaint and get an attorney to help me to keep the landlord from stranding me in my apartment during upcoming construction which is slated to last a month. Their plan would require me to perform some physical tasks I can't do in order to leave the house. I am finding that most people are insensitive to the issues that disabled folks have to face every day.

A couple months ago, I won a city-wide art contest that relieved me of the anxiety around my ABILITY to produce art, due to my blindness in one eye. I have been reassured that, despite the lack of depth perception, I CAN still produce art, particularly with the help of the magnifying lamps.

In addition to selling my paintings and sketches in the past, I have also made rosaries, and jewelry items. I hope to pick that up again and sell them locally, mostly at the parish book store, mentioned above. THOSE supplies are also on the wish list.

Practice jewelry for local store

As for my primary activities, I have a routine of prayer, meditation, contemplation, and reading. At some point, I may open up this routine to the participation of other solitaries. I know there are many elderly ladies who live alone and are assiduously practicing a prayer-centered life. One day soon, I will open up my YouTube channel for them so we may pray together.

God bless us all.

Silver Rose

July 3, 2024
(C) Copyright 2024

All rights reserved

GOD'S PERMISSIVE WILL

 

Our Lady of Sorrows

"And we know that to them that love God, all things work together unto good, to such as, according to His purpose, are called to be Saints."

Romans 8:28

I am meditating today upon two topics. First, I implore our Blessed Mother of Sorrows to take my hand and lead me toward Jesus, through this mess of a life that I am enduring at the moment, with the upending of an already strife-filled living situation. She is excellent at keeping her eyes always upon Christ and she can show me how to do this, as well as behaving as an icon of surrender to God's will, our God to whom she always said "yes."

A second, deeper focus is the remembrance that although God allows or permits many things to happen, it does not mean that he WANTS it to happen. This is a meditation upon God's "permissive will."

Recently, Pope Francis made the comment that the existence of a variety of religions is in God's will, and it caused a lot of confusion for many Americans who mostly think of "God's Will" as a positive intention when, in this case, as in others, we are talking about God's permissive will. God allows evil to exist, for instance, otherwise it would not, but that does not mean that he likes or WANTS evil.

The language differences between the language of our pontiff and our American English language are such that there are frequent translations that do not fully convey the meaning of his original language, and in Christian charity, we have to remember this and make an effort to understand him instead of criticizing our Papa simply because we just don't comprehend his original intent.

There are some folks who refuse to believe him when he clarifies it for us, which is a violation of Christian charity. 

Because of our "free will," many things would naturally have to be allowed by God that are not necessarily good, in themselves, but there is a corresponding concept, even deeper yet, that God brings all things to the good for those that believe, which is the subject of the scripture passage of the day.  In His compassion for us, in accordance with His nature which is entirely good, he can make "bad" things turn into "good" and holy things by his active Will that positively wants only the good for us.

How he can manage to do this while permitting all sorts of evil is a mechanism I cannot pretend to understand. I only have faith in Him and that he can transform my suffering circumstances into blissful union with His positive good will. But I have to do my part.

Today, in the midst of such turmoil of life, I focus on God's goodness, and I reassert my faith in it, knowing that He will bring all things to the good for those that believe.

I make an offering of my "free will" so that His positive good will may work in me today.

Amen.

Silver Rose

(C) Copyright 2024

All rights reserved.

SAINT MERIADOC, HERMIT AND BISHOP, A STRANGE COMBINATION

 

FEAST DAY: June 7 or the first Friday in June.

Saint Meriadoc, also sometimes Meriedoc, Meriasec or Meriadeg (Breton) feels somewhat familiar to me, as he is said to have been originally a Welsh man, and I am half Welsh. He later moved to Cornwall, and he opened several churches there, one of which, at Camborne (a town that played a significant part in my family history) is where he is the patron.

When I read about Saint Meriadoc, I think back to my 2nd great grandmother, who was born in Camborne but died in Denver, Colorado, U.S.A., one of the pioneers of my family who hailed from the adjoining areas of Cornwall and Wales.  I wonder if she attended St. Meriadoc's church that is dedicated to him in Camborne, and if she had some affection for him. I wonder if she was familiar with the stories of his holy life that remain behind in the Cornish miracle play called "Beunans Meriasek" a single original copy of which, written in the "middle Cornish language and dated 1504, remains.

Saint Mariadoc desired to escape the popularity with which he was saddled at Camborne, so he moved on into Brittany. The king of that region, whose name was similar to his own, i.e., Conan Meriadoc, wanted to arrange a prestigious marriage for him, as the Saint was a wealthy man, having been born into a ducal family, but St. Meriadoc preferred the life of a destitute hermit and gave away all his wealth to needy clerics and gave his land holdings to the poor.

"Poverty is a remover of cares

and the mother of holiness"

St. Meriadoc

As a descendant of a wealthy noble family, St. Meriadoc had dressed in purple and silk, but in later years eschewed it for rags, under which he wore a hair shirt as part of his ascetical practices. He spent his time in prayer, and caring for the sick and needy.

The saint's relatives were distressed at his discarding the trappings of his entitled station in life, so they descended upon him, in the company of the Viscount of Rohan, who importuned him to take up his privileged life once more. Instead, the saint chided him that his time would be better spent eliminating the thieves and robbers of the neighborhood. The Viscount was so affected by the words of the holy man that he followed the Saint's admonishment and bore down on the local bandits, eliminating them from that region, and thereby doing a great service to the populace, who had been suffering from the constant threat of complete penury, with all their meagre possessions at risk.

Even though Meriadoc refused the status of a fine political marriage, and gave away the rich trappings of silk and gold, he was unanimously voted Bishop of Vannes, which is located in the portion of Brittany that lies in the north-western section of France, and was one of the most important cities in the country at that time. With some trepidation, he had accepted the honor, but continued his simple life of poverty and care for the poor, nonetheless.

He is said to have cured many lepers and disabled people. He drove off the vicious highwaymen of Josselin through prayer alone.

St. Meriadoc died around the year 688 and, kissing his gathered companions in religion, exclaimed, "into your hands Lord, I commend my spirit," and threw off his mortal coil.

Behind him were left many reminders of his holy years on this earth. In addition to the miracle play above mentioned, there is a holy well attributed to him at Stival, in Brittany, as well as a bell at the local church, which is purported to eliminate migraines when placed on the head of the sufferer.

He is supposed to have made a stream of water gush from a rock (and this may be how the well came to be.) Through force of will or uttered prayers, the quelling of a storm is attributed.

It seems that everywhere his feet have trod, he left behind a blessed trace of himself, and it is a good lesson to us to realize that our efforts toward holiness do not proceed in vain. Not that we WANT to be noticed, no. But we want to know that our efforts to refine our natures, develop virtue, and become holy are worth the cost.

Saint Mariadoc lived during the 7th century and was therefore part of the canon of saints prior to the split between the Catholic and the Orthodox.  He is one of the saints that we share. The Orthodox pray to him thus:

"O, Meriadoc, holy hermit, through thy simplicity thou didst draw many souls to God. Near the church of the Mother of God in Camborne, thou didst cause a healing well to rise. We glorify God who had glorified thee."

Personally, I thank you, Saint Meriadoc, for leaving such a fine example for us to follow.

God bless us all.

Silver Rose

(c) Copyright 2024

All rights reserved.

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