Saint Ælfflæd of Whitby - February 8th - My 20-year Anniversary as a Hermit

 

The ruins of Whitby Abbey

Seen above the town, in modern times

My 20-year anniversary

Twenty years ago, on about February 3rd, I finally became so disabled by my various injuries and illnesses that I could no longer hold down a job, and I had to retire early on my Social Security retirement insurance into which I had paid for more than 30 years. At that time, I decided that I would dedicate the remainder of my life to God alone, and three years later I entered the Catholic Church, by which time I had decided to offer my pains and sufferings for the benefit of The Church, with the intention of supporting the reunion and re-integration of the Catholic Church with the Orthodox that had split from it in 1054.

Practicing the Presence of God

In the following 17 years, while wrestling with these illnesses and defects, I read as much as I could about the examples of the saints and, to the best of my ability, I keep my mind "at the feet of The Lord," practicing the presence of God in all of my mundane doings. In every moment, I make an effort to keep my mind attuned to The Lord. He keeps me company in all of my hours, and I maintain awareness of his presence in an intimate communion with Him. Whatever I am doing, I am conscious that He is accompanying me in all of it in a quiet embrace. He is both within me and around me. When keeping touch with Him in this manner becomes difficult, I speak to Him interiorly and/or out loud and ask for his help in short sentences, such as "Lord save me!" or "Lord help me!"  It doesn't take much to get my mind back on track.

The Offering of Pain

Because of the chronic pain throughout all the bones in my body, my acetic practices do not have to be artificially created. Old-time contemplatives had the habit of denying themselves food or causing themselves some other type of pain, such as with the infamous hair shirts of the middle-ages, but I have plenty of pain to spare that my body introduces on its own, without bidding from me. While the physical pains prohibit the use of customary forms of acetic practices, they are, actually, a replacement for them. Over the years, I have gradually come to realize that my disabilities are my blessings. They both bring me closer to the Lord and act as a type of spiritual currency to offer up in reparation of the sins of the world and especially the sins of those who create division, such as the division between the Roman Catholic and the Orthodox churches.

What is Most Important

I do not pretend to have anything resembling a proper monastic schedule, due to the inability to gain cooperation of my body. Indeed, for this reason, someone like me would be a burden to any institution, which is the main reason I remain at home. But if I have learned anything in the last 20 years, it is this: What is most important is the condition of the mind and the topics on which I allow it to dwell.

Although I also suffer from a persistent type of insomnia that refuses to be tamed, this condition forces me to accept the mantle of humility. After 20 years, I simply cannot bring my schedule into line with what I consider a proper monastic schedule.  I have substituted the practice of the presence of God in every moment, even though I often wish I was not forced to do it this way, however I try to be grateful instead of focusing on the downside. It is a challenge, and I often struggle to keep the mind "on the high road," but this battle also has its benefits.

Spiritual ambition

I have noticed some chatter on social media with regard to those of us who live as monastics at home, and it has become clear to me that there is a lot of confusion around what would be considered the basics of this life that are not negotiable. Celibacy is probably the one crucial observance that everyone living as I do must absolutely follow. I have learned that every major religion which has a monastic tradition requires the same thing. Our deepest affections and attentions belong to The Lord alone.

There are some characters who advertise themselves as "anchoresses" or hermits of some sort who are married and live with husbands and children and enjoy the typical comings and goings of relatives. They are devout and fervent householders, which is a noble path, but it is not monasticism.  Due to rabid clericalism, some women discount themselves and the holy vocation of wife and mother for some idea of a quasi-monastic vocation that they mistakenly believe is somehow superior to their own.  It is not. What comes out of this confused idea is a jumbled chaotic spiritual life that manifests in an inauthentic presentation to the world. They have an emotional need for validation and their attention is not on Christ.

It is a wonderful ambition to desire to become a saint, but it is a different sort of thing to have an ambition to be REGARDED as a saint by other people. I see a lot of this on social media when I have made the mistake of joining supposedly "Catholic" groups started by women who have not had enough validation in their lives and who immediately begin to slather new members with sickeningly sweet appellations, such as "my dear child," followed up by unasked-for spiritual direction and other nonsense. The craven need to be followed and admired is sadly obvious.

The vocation of an independent hermit IS a peculiar one to begin with and, for all I know, we have to be at least a little bit "odd" to embark on it, but most of us have had an attraction for monastic life since we were children. I, for one, discovered the Carmelites when I was 11 and carried out an intense correspondence with them, much to the ire of my mother who was not at all religious and who absolutely hated Catholics! She soon put an end to my correspondence with them, but the desire for the contemplative monastic life never left me. I experimented with it in various forms, from "New Age" religions to Buddhism to Hinduism, and eventually the Catholic Faith, where I happily remain.

When you live as an urban hermit:

Living in the world but not OF the world is in many ways much more difficult than being part of a monastic institution. In a convent or monastery, one is propelled forward by the rules and watchful eyes of your sisters and superiors. Everything in your environment is geared toward the spiritual goal, and it is placed in front of your eyes and in your ears every moment of every day. Unless you go out shopping or to the doctor, it is a rarified atmosphere.

But as an independent hermit in one's own home, it is all up to you. Other than what is forced on you by society or your landlord or your physical disabilities, every decision is ultimately yours to make. Your schedule, food, rising and sleeping, prayers and observances - It is all on you. You can't just surrender to the institution. You ARE the institution.

While the Catholic Church is FULL of monastic institutions of various orders, Catholic history is rife with independent monastics who either remained at home to practice their spiritual disciplines or they went out into the wilderness to find solitude.

Our history includes hermits that eventually attracted a following around them and drew other hermits into their orbit, which was the beginning of a cenobitic lifestyle, but this is less common today due to the complex organization required, as well as financial practicalities that make it very difficult to arrange.

I try to research a saint on each day, and am helped a great deal by the Catholic.org website that publishes the names and some of the life stories of all the saints who share the calendar day as their feast day, and it is rare not to find at least ONE saint who lived as a hermit. Often, there are several.

As an independent monastic, however, we have to be careful not to put ourselves forward as some sort of official personality. While I am Catholic and I am a hermit, I try to avoid claiming to be a "Catholic hermit" for the specific reason that I want to avoid the pretense that I am somehow affiliated with the official institution of The Catholic Church.  There is a provision in the catechism for something called a "Diocesan Hermit," and I do not know what sort of bona fides one needs to have for this particular title because every time I have called the bishop's office about it, I get crickets in response. After half a dozen phone calls and brief discussions with functionaries whose job it was to coordinate this activity, I gave up. 

My impression is that, unless they already know you, you are out of luck - probably due to the inordinate number of "kooks" (as one priest described them to me.) Several "cradle Catholics" have suggested to me that if I was wealthy, the Bishop would be calling ME. I don't have trouble believing that, but in any case it is irrelevant. Considering the ever-worsening condition of my health, I probably have little to offer them anyway.  I had been attracted to the idea of possibly having the Eucharist preserved on my prayer shrine and this is the one benefit of taking Diocesan Hermit vows that keeps luring me toward it. I do not have the opportunity to regard our Lord in the host under any other circumstance, as I am rarely able to attend church, due to disabilities and lack of transportation.

Saint Ælfflæd Of Whitby, my cousin

The saint I have chosen for today is a cousin of mine: Saint Ælfflæd Of Whitby. We are each descended from a long line of saints, mostly along the female lines.  The ancestor that she and I share most closely is Clotair I, a Merovingian King of the 5th Century, whose mother was Saint Clothilde, Queen of the Franks (the French, essentially.) 

Saint Clothilde

Queen of the Franks

My 42nd Great Grandmother

4th Great Grandmother of St. Ælfflæd 

Clotair and his wife Waldrada were my 41st great grandparents. Their family line is jam packed with saints, mostly female, but some male as well.

Saint Hilda of Whitby

Not only was my cousin well connected, spiritually, but she was also a member of royalty and her line is lousy with kings and queens. This is where it becomes obvious that our destiny is often hinted at within our family circumstances because, while I was enabled to become a hermit by virtue of disability that prevented me from working, Ælfflæd  was destined by another type of circumstance.  When she was barely a year old, she was given to Saint Hilda to raise in a convent at Hartlepool. When Hilda left Hartlepool to establish the Abbey of Whitby, on land given The Church for that purpose by Ælfflæd's father, King Oswiu, she took Ælfflæd with her. Ælfflæd was still a toddler at this time.

Picture of King Oswiu

King Oswiu is credited with convening the Synod of Whitby, out of which came the decision to adopt Roman Catholic ways rather than Celtic. I have found reference to him as a saint as well, but I have to verify that.

From her infancy, you can see that my cousin was trained in the way of the monastic saints. She was also highly influential in government.  Stephen of Ripon described her thus:

"...always the comforter and the best counselor 
of the whole kingdom."

~ Stephen of Ripon
Author of The Life of St. Wilfred

In fact, there is so much really fascinating information about the life and influence of today's saint, that it inspires me to read further and, rather than wait to publish this blog post and use information that would, essentially, reinvent the wheel, so to speak, I will just post a few really good links at the bottom of this post and let you choose whether or not you also have interest in Aelfflaed.  

Advice to parents:

Many times, I have heard parents say that they will let their children decide what religion to follow when they're grown up. I just wanted to point out that whether one becomes a monastic or a lay person is often determined by circumstances of family and education, and there is a bit of a whiff of destiny in the whole thing.  I do not believe in strict "destiny" per se, but experiences, environment and education do substantially mold or prepare a person for adult life. This is why I have come to believe that raising your children in the faith is important. 

I'm not saying that one should give one's child to the church to be raised as a nun from babyhood, such as what Aelfladd had done to her, but I am just pointing out that it is better to get an early start on religious education. Everything in Aelfflad's family and life circumstances were channeling her to the path of sainthood and she accomplished great things. (Read about it through the links, below.)

I did happen to eventually come to The Faith on my own, despite efforts on the part of others to keep me out, but it took a lot of time to get to that place. In the end, the options that remained were few. You don't want your child to experience unnecessary limitations. Fortunately, convents do accept applicants at older ages than they used to.  Formerly, you had to be no older than 25!  It isn't that way any more, thanks be to God. At least that is one limitation that is less daunting in this age.

Regardless of whatever limitations or difficulties I may have endured, I find myself feeling very grateful that I am not so sick that I cannot pray or that my pain is not worse.  I am grateful to have adequate medical care and a decent place to live with a wonderful view of the Sandia mountains that turn pink at sunset. I am grateful that The Lord does not abandon me in my golden years and that he has left me with at least ONE eye with which to read His Holy Word.

Often, there is not enough money for a proper healthy diet, or to repair the ancient chariot I need to get me around, or to take the service dog to the vet, and I am most grateful for any and all charitable donations given for those things. There is a "donate" button below my picture (above right) and any amount is most appreciated. I will also get an updated Amazon wish list done up very soon. I do get tired of asking for help, as you probably also grow tired of being asked, but I must endure the humiliation as I have no choice in it.

That's all I have for you today. Please pray for me during the month-long celebration of my 20-year anniversary, and I will pray for you, as always. Look for the list of interesting links about Saint Aelfflaed, below.

God bless us all!

Silver Rose

Links to Saint Ælfflæd of Whitby:

"Saints' Bridge" blog (very well researched)

Catholic.org post about her

Wikipedia page about Aelfflaed of Whitby