THE TRIALS OF JOB - BEGINNING OF LENT

 

Satan Torments Job

It is expected, during Lent, to offer pains and sacrifices to God, "mortify the flesh," give alms, eschew extravagances, and offer up one's time to extra prayers and religious observances. People 60 and over have fewer requirements during Lent in the Catholic Church, probably because we have enough illnesses, aches and pains from just being old!  I know I do. But still, I love Lent for some reason.  I think it is because it gives me some encouragement to put more energy into my spiritual practices.

This year, I am meditating on The Book of Job because my life, in the last 20 years, looks a lot like his: one crappy circumstance after another.  Chronic daily pain, mobility challenges, blindness, the death of my father, being written out of my father's will AFTER he got Alzheimer's, betrayal and theft by the one close relative I had left, the death of my only child, dropping into a poverty-level socio-economic strata, and losing friends as a result of all the above. 

First, I lost nearly all of my support structure, and then I started getting attacked by various people. I became the object of harrassment by belligerant, angry apartment management. Church ladies started gossipping about me, spreading unkind criticism. Neighbors started spreading lies about me. Hindu friends dropped me when I became Catholic. Parish friends dropped me when I refused to support Trump, forcing me to change parishes. And temporary friends, flitted in and then right back out again when it was found how very useless I am.

I relate to Job because the more devoted I become to God, and the more assiduous I am in practicing my spiritual disciplines, the longer and more calamitous my litany of tribulations becomes!  The moment I add a new religious prayer to my daily routine, without fail, something miserable happens in my life - and it isn't usually something temporary, either! When I become more reliable in my practice of a promised meditation or prayer, BAM! I am rewarded with some new woe. When I do a kindness for someone and deliberately avoid telling anyone else about it, WHAP! Some new financial circumstance arises to create chaos with my already unsteady bank balance.

My litany of woe has been noticed by the small circle of loving friends that remain, and they are wondering what is up with that? One situation after another befalls me. Is God punishing me for something? But, like Job, I don't have an answer for them because, while I don't pretend to be God's MOST reliable devotee, I do my best to avoid evil, do good, obey Him and love Him.  Ever since baptism, I have increasingly repented and repaired. I just do not see a correlation between all the good I do and that dark litany of mishaps.

But it's a good question, isn't it?

AT FIRST, I considered the situation in strictly worldly terms, rather than a spiritual test, because I have experienced a considerable amount of society's enmity in the form of discrimination and contempt against the poor, the elderly and the disabled, which is something that is an entirely new phenomenon for me, since I spent the first half of my adult life in much better circumstances.

I've talked with many disabled and poor old ladies who have also grown used to being treated like pariahs at home, at church, at the grocery store; it's all the same. We meet irritation and disdain, wherever we go, cripping along on our canes or walkers - sometimes zipping past on our battery-powered mobility scooters! The bullies who abuse us will only restrain themselves from rudeness if the disabled old lady has a companion to witness the treatment - something that is rarely available for those of us who are independent and/or without family.

I tell better-situated folk that I am not alone in this and that, especially in the case of single women who have to make their way in the world entirely alone, this condition is quite common, but since they have not experienced it themselves or seen it in the lives of their other well-married and well-housed friends, they have a hard time understanding how this could be true - and who could blame them? I'm the only one in their circle who suffers like this!

Society, in general, does not care about this trend. There is a lot of gossip about the poor: unflattering hearsay that serves to defend the actions of the bullies. Insults about the poor abound. Social media is full of it. Fabrications about poor people pretending to be disabled float like discarded shopping lists on waves of blather.  Cliches that accuse the poor of widespread drug and alcohol abuse flourish, completely ignoring the aspect of inherited illness that causes much of whatever such illnesses exist. All these accusations are free of proof or detail.

I will admit, however, that I have recently discovered that, at least in the town where I live, there are at least a dozen people who have responded to my advertisements for a caregiver who freely tell me that I have to pay them cash because they are living on disbility. My reply, of course, is to tell them that since they are already breaking the law, I do not feel comfortable having them in my home - but that does not go over very well because, you see, they feel entitled to cheat the system. I blame this on the widespread disbelief of God, Heaven and Hell. Some of these people might tell you that they believe in God, but they think he is going to make an exception in their case - or some such nonsense. They also do not believe in the Devil.  I tell them, "that's ok, Satan believes in you."

I do wonder if the unfair wages and other systems that oppress the poor are enough to give God pause when contemplating the final judgment. Perhaps He will be blaming the rich folk who create these systems.

Many "Christians" think the poor must prove they are legitimately poor and have no character defects in order to qualify for the mercy of Christ. (Even though I became disabled due to inherited diseases, I've heard people claim I inherited them because I am fat, when it is actually the fat that is caused by the disease!) 

I got pretty tired of seeing those memes on Facebook complaining about people paying for groceries with "food stamps" while at the same time wearing nice clothes and carrying a cell phone.

Forget the fact that the person making this complaint has no idea where any of that stuff comes from. For all they know, someone gave it to them, or the cell phone is a government phone they got for free, or the "nice" clothes are from the thrift store where women who shop good brands donate their old clothes every season.  Who knows?

I don't see those complaining memes any more. Ever since a particularly critical set of Facebook friends "unfriended" me. Probably a good thing.

What initially brought me to consider the idea that there is a spiritual reason for my litany of calamities is that, while there are many poor folk who share the unfortunate triumvirate of poverty, seniority and disability - not all of them share the number and intensity of vexations as I have experienced. 

There ARE exceptions - so what is going on here, exactly? 

You may remember that, in the Book of Job, Satan claims that Job is only devoutly loyal to God because God is giving him nothing but largesse. He alleges that, if The Lord were to stop showering Job with good fortune, Job would immediately turn against Him.

The Lord, knowing Job's love and allegience to Him, allows Satan to torment Job, who ultimately proves Satan is wrong. Throughout the loss of family, farm, health and everything else worth something in worldly terms, Job continues to love God, praise Him, obey Him, and believe in His goodness.

At the end of the story, the Lord does not replenish Job's storehouses, bring his livestock or his family back to life, or repay Job in any way for his loyalty. In order for Job to love the Lord, he does not have to be paid for it. It is not a shopkeepers religion where the devotee expects benefits in repayment for devotion. He loves God for the sake of God alone.

God had confidence in Job's love for Him.

The idea that God may have confidence in my love for Him and that He knows that I will Love him with my whole being regardless of whether or not I have a litany of woe - THAT makes me very happy. It really does.

There is another aspect of the story of Job that I found helpful. Just as in Job, where Satan is behind the torment of the devotee of the Lord, it occurs to me that the people who abuse me are likewise under the influence of Satan. 

Satan is the source of evil - not God. 

In fact, the more sincerely I follow my spiritual disciplines, prayers and devotions, the more attacks I get from the anti-Catholics, the fake religious, and the like. 

I need not look for a reason why various friends, neighbors and actuaintances take advantage of my kindness (and anything else they can get their hands on), then shun me and spread gossip about me so they can hide their thievery. Fellow co-religionists who snub me without explanation, the ones who left me because I would not support their political candidate, and the ones who made disparaging comments about the poor while claiming to be a follower of Christ are those whose absence I need to celebrate instead of mourn. They were doing harm in the background, while I was trusting them.

"Not everyone who says to me, 'Lord, Lord' will enter

 the kingdom of Heaven, but only the one who does the 

will of my Father in heaven."

Matthew 7:21

Every prayer I say, every abstinence, every religious observance I offer to God is a slap in the face of Satan, and he will revile me for it. Through the hands of his peons, he will try to take my heart from God, just as he tried to do with Job.

In the end, if The Lord is the only well-wisher I have left, then so be it.  If He chooses to let me remain in a state of poverty and disability, so be it.  The litany of tribulations can grow longer and longer. It will be what it will be.

It also occurs to me that Satan has reason to be particularly furious that I am not on HIS side in the war between good and evil. He had every reason to believe that I would be "his" from the time I was born, because I was born into an amoral, Catholic-hating natal family. Both Mother and Father were unscrupulous, selfish, and depraved people.

A family of saints.

BUT in my genealogical research, I discovered that I am actually descended from quite a fair number of saints and also I am cousins to an even larger number! The holiness of that family line was broken at my grandparents' generation. They left the Catholic faith behind, and ever since I discovered it, I realized that I can help bring the family back to Holy Mother Church by offering all my pains and sufferings for reparation of my sins and the sins of the world. I must pray to my sainted ancestors and ask for their prayers for the rest of the family, and also pray for the family that left The Church.

This is actually in line with a vow I made when I became Catholic.

When I became Catholic, I privately vowed to offer myself up in hopes of re-uniting the Catholic Church with the Orthodox, so that The Church could breathe through both lungs again - East and West. Bringing my family line back under that canopy seems like a harmonious idea.

While I do not pretend to be thrilled with an ever-growing Litany of hardship and headaches, I can hold onto the thrilling thought that God trusts me as He trusted Job. What could be better?

I would love it if things would return to the smooth path of earlier years - when I had enough money to live comfortably and enough health to do all the practical things. I really miss riding horses. It would be delightful to go shopping and wander between the book store and the cafe. I wish I had done a bit more world travel before I became disabled and could no longer manage it. I would gladly accustom myself to a much shorter litany of longsufferingness. In short: I'm not a masochist! But I accept the role that The Lord has laid on me, and I will do the best I can with whatever reserves of energy I am allowed.

So why am I writing this?

Well, I'm a writer and I can't help myself. But mostly I hope to encourage other folks whose lives are a bit in the ditch and they have begun to wonder what it all means. I am here to tell you that it does not necessarily mean something negative about YOU. I would like you to consider a wider point of view. Jesus loves the poor and downtrodden, you know. It's all over the Bible - so if the world has you looking down your nose at yourself, I suggest you change your perspective and adopt an elevated view. Look at your situation through the loving lens that Jesus uses.

I pray that my numerous sainted ancestors and other relatives intercede on behalf of us all; that they pray at the foot of Our Lord's throne and ask for the re-unification of the Orthodox and Catholic Churches, for the healing of my family line and its return to Holy Mother Church, for the reduction of my litany of sorrows and burdens, and for the intentions of my handful of readers.

God bless us all!

Silver Rose

FRA ANGELICO AND THE SPIRITUALITY OF ART - FEBRUARY 18

 

The Dormition of the Virgin

by

Fra Angelico

(born Guido di Pietro, aka Giovanni da Fiesole)

Painter and Dominican Friar

Fra Angelico, one of my favorite painters, was declared the patron saint of Catholic painters in 1984 by Pope John Paul II. He had a lifestyle that may be the envy of most religious painters, as his was a blessed balance between traditional conventual religious life and the spirituality of fine art!

He was called the "Angelic Friar" (which, in Italian, is "Fra Angelico") and of the several names by which he was known, this is the one that "stuck."  He was given this name because his paintings were angelic and depicted calm, illuminated religious subjects, while he himself was exceedingly pious.

The History of Saint Nicholas

by 

Fra Angelico

I have met and read about a number of spiritual personalities who were also deeply spiritual and talented artists. There is something about the enclosed life of contemplation that attracts the heart of the artist with a mystical bent. I was also attracted to it, but came too late to the Catholic faith to be of any use to a convent. Instead, this is exactly the lifestyle I have adopted at home, as a disabled lady, though I can't pretend to come anywhere close to this artist's talent!  Obviously, I am not dead yet, so we will see how I proceed with my novels and my paintings.                                                                              

The Deposition of Christ

by

Fra Angelico

Fra Angelico is obviously very famous and there is quite a lot written about him. His frescoes still contribute to the holy atmosphere of the monastery, and many paintings can be viewed in museums. The largest collection is at the San Marco Museum in Florence, Italy.

Fra Angelico began as an illustrator of missals and religious books sometime around 1418 when he entered a Dominican convent in Fiesole, Italy. After some time, Pope Eugenius IV summoned him to paint some frescoes for the Chapel of the Sacrament at the Vatican that is now, unfortunately, destroyed. Other frescoes were painted at the behest of one Pope or another, usually by his assistants, copying or filling-in his original designs.  

For about three years, he served as the administrative head ("Prior") of the Convent in Fiesole - a job I imagine he would not have enjoyed. Artists are typically uninterested in business and the organization of life. Their souls are usually occupied with The Divine. I don't know why it was such a short time, but perhaps that was the practice at that convent - to keep the duration of office short for the sake of the soul and to keep the person humble. If I can find the time, I will dig into it and learn more about that time period (1449-1452.) (By the way, "convents" are usually insitutions peopled by women in the modern West, and Monasteires are usually for men. Different times and countries used those terms in different fashion.)

Much is written about Fra Agenlico on the internet and elsewhere.  I am willing to bet there are some stunning "coffee table books" of his work, so I won't reinvent the wheel and go into too much more of his life.  I would just like to say a little about the place of the artist and art, in general, with respect to religious life.

In 2012, the DIAKONIA OF BEAUTY was founded to encourage an "exchange between artists and the Church."  It offers education,  prayer, and spiritual and economic support to members. Membership consists of musicians, poets, singers, painters, architects, sculptors, actors and dancers."

"Artistic creation completes, in a certain sense,

the beauty of creation..."

Pope Francis

Divine love is the origin of the artistic gift - that impulse to bring into the world a thing of beauty, in imitation of and perhaps in concert with The Divine, and "authentic art" can "speak eloquently of the beauty and goodness of God." (Pope Francis.)

With Pople John Paul II, Pope Francis said that art must "make perceptible, and as far as possible attractive, the world of the spirit, of the invisible, of God."

The Ascension

I have found a couple articles about the Diakonia, and I offer them, below, for anyone who has interest:

VATICAN NEWS - FEBRUARY 2022

NATIONAL CATHOLIC REGISTER - FEB 2022

ALETEIA ARTICLE - MARCH, 2018

My personal theory is that when a person is born with a natural creative talent, this is not only a gift from God, but a message to the person. That gift is meant to be used for the Glory of God and His people. For me, art is a type of bridge of communication between the soul and the Divine that can be witnessed, appreciated and admired by onlookers.  It is communication in solid form.

As a creative person, I have seen what happens when I try to take as vocation a different path than ART. It does not work very well, Certainly, I was able to take various office jobs to support myself, but I would not say that I was terribly successful in it. It was what I needed to do to support myself, i.e., put a roof over my head and food on the table.  But it did nothing for my soul or anyone else's!

However, it occurs to me now as I write this that God's timing is perfect because, when I was younger, I doubt I had much of anything inspiring to contribute to the world, with either my paintings or my writing. 

The Annunciation

I was born into an anti-religious family of poor moral character, except for my beloved Grandmother who wasn't a saint, but was a very good woman, as far as I was concerned. She was opposed to organized religion, however, and she always used to say that "all you need is the golden rule."  The golden rule is fine, for as much as it speaks about our treatment of others, but it is missing a great deal as the sum total of one's personal philosophy of life. My mother, with whom I lived, absolutely hated Catholics. She eventually became a Jehovah's Witness.

My parents were hostile to religion and I was prohibited from continuing my communication with some Carmelite nuns I had discovered in the town where we were living for a while.  After leaving home during the "hippie era," it took me a long time to "catch up" with the cradle Catholics, having cycled through other religions before taking it up again.  

I have long ago forgiven my parents for the awful childhood they gave me, so there are no worries on that score, but, coming from this family, it was natural that, upon leaving home at age 17, I would start making a lot of mistakes, wandering here and there. I did not know how to "do" life. I did not have a clear picture of what I wanted because, rather than running toward something, I was running away from those people.

Christ Glorified in the Court of Heaven

by

Fra Angelico

My journey to Catholicism took a circuitous route, the details of which are not terribly interesting, except that it is important to note that, by the time I became disabled and had to retire on my small Social Security pension, I had seen a lot of the world, had many experiences, spent a lot of time in prayer and reflection, and was finally prepared to contribute art worthy of its Divine purpose, inspired by and infused with The Holy Spirit. Perfect timing.

There is no guarantee that the result will be a masterpiece. I can only pray for The Lord's assistance and apply myself the best I can.

Art is more than something pretty to look at. In 2018, Pope Francis met with a group of two dozen or so artists from around the world, leaders from the Diakonia of Beauty, and he told them, "the gifts that you have received are, for each of you, a responsibility and a mission." In this meeting, his aim was to ask them to help communicate the beauty of transcendence through their artistic language.

Everyone has a vocation, and those of us who are artists have a role as mediators between heaven and earth. Instead of searching for "vainglory or easy popularity, or the "petty calculus of personal profit," we must be dominated by the Divine consciousness.

Coronation of the Virgin

by

Fra Angelico

I hope that this post inspires you to remain true to your Divine Mission and vocation, whatever that is, in artistic or other realms, because it is through this world that we express our gifts and return them as tribute to our Maker.

God bless us all!

Silver Rose

P.S. I have gone mostly blind in the left eye, with unreliable vision in the right, so if you happen to see a typo here and there, please do not hold it against me, but I WILL appreciate it if you would shoot me a message when you find a typo and tell me about it so I can go in and change it.  I will be SO grateful if you would!  Thanks so much.

Also, please do not forget that I am working very hard to finish my novel, and I need some research materials, mostly consisting of prize-winning books published last year that give me a picture of what is happening with modern literature at the moment. In addition, inflation has hit me hard when it comes to putting groceries in the cupboards, so if you could donate to my Paypal link, above right, I would be most grateful.

Anyway, Amazon has my address and can mail the items direct to me from my wish list. Help me to help myself, won't you, even if it is just a book or two from the list?  Here is the link:

AMAZON WISH LIST - HELP ME TO HELP MYSELF

SAINT ERMENGILD OF ELY, WIDOW AND NUN

 

St. Ermengild

Queen of Mercia,

Wife of King Wulfhere (widow)

Became a nun upon widowhood

Feast day: Feb 13

My 4th cousin, 38 times removed

I could not find very many pictures of Saint Ermengild, but she seems to be a worthy object of interest. She managed to convert her pagan husband, King Wulfhere, of Mercia, to the Catholic faith. 

Wulhere appears on the right

Lichfield Cathedral

Lichfield, Staffordshire, England

While I found little more than a mention and some bare facts about Ermengild, her royal and nobel family have quite a bit of information spread throughout the internet.  

Here are a few about her husband, Wulfhere:

Wikipedia of England

History by Nicklin

British History Podcast

There is a YouTube video about King Wulfhere that begins at the time when his father, King Penda, dies:

YOUTUBE VIDEO ABOUT WULFHERE

Her family tree was full of saints, of course, incluing her mother, sainted Queen Sexburga and her daughter, Saint Werburga (for whom there are a lot of photos of pictures, as well as some handsome statues!)

Saint Werburga

Saint Ermengild's daughter

Patron Saint of the City of Chester

in Cheshire, England

Feast day: Feb 3

My 5th cousin, 38 times removed

They are all descended from King Anna, all of whose children were either saints or royal rulers. Talk about a richly appointed background! These people are all related to me in some capacity or another - mostly saints. I find it interesting that we share some of the same blood becuase I hope to inherit as much of their good tendencies as I possibly can!

King Penda

Wulfhere's Father

Although she retired to the life of the widowed nun and managed two monasteries before she died, I am most impressed by Ermengild's ability to evangelize that pagan husband of hers. That is the real feat, as far as I am concerned! Husbands, especially in those days, are not famous for being receptive to learning from their wives. She must have been a remarkably influencial woman, and I would have loved to have met her!

Here are some links to websites that talk about her:

FROM THE ENGLISH WIKIPEDIA

CATHOLIC ONLINE

THE BLOG "THE HOLY ONES"

Her feast day is February 13th, which is also my dearly departed Grammy's birthday - the only relative who ever showed me an ounce of love and affection.

Lichfield Cathedral image

While the histories of this week's sainted ancestors are jam packed with tales of their influence on world affairs, as well as ecclesiastical, there is precious little real information about Ermengilda and the other sainted women, except that they were leaders of various numbers of convents and monasteries.

But that is exactly what I would expect of contemplatives and mystics. Sometimes, these monastics who have royal relatives will be found to make a mark on world history but, for the most part, their work is behind the scenes, hidden. You and I are living like that (and I am speaking to the other half-monastics and independent hermits here.) We know that, if we DO have any worth, it is only felt in the finest of spiritual realms. All of it is behind the scenes, somewhat clandestine and furtive. Meanwhile, the public face of our faith can be, at times, very grand.

Ely Cathedral

This Catheral had its origins in 672 AD

when my cousin St. Etheldreda,

daughter of King Anna,

built an abbey church here.

I know that it can be discouraging to have our time eaten up with the mundane: Paying bills, struggling with health issues, cleaning and organizing our homes, etc. The human heart naturally seeks the embrace of a loving recognition of our spiritual labors by Our Lord, whom we adore. However, we must always keep in mind that our job requires that we remain a bit mysterious and obscure, despite being crucially necessary to the welfare of makind. 

"But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when

thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret;

and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly.

Matthew 6:6

I don't know how, exactly, our Father in Heaven will reward us "openly" for our hidden life of prayer, but I trust that He knows what is best for us and, one day, he will reveal to ALL what He means by this.

In the meantime, we can say to ourselves and to God, "ah! what a beautiful thing!" And we can hold a firm confidence that He will hear us and see the exquisite nature of our holy labors.

My living room prayer wall

We also have one another, and I treasure the correspondence I receive from each one of you that joins with me in our holy labor of prayer and work for the Lord, each in our own little prayer closet or sitting in front of our personal prayer shrines. I love hearing about the causes for which you dedicate your rosaries and chaplets, as well as your other spiritual routines and practices.

May Saint Ermengild, Seaxburga and Werburga, as well as all the other saints who intercede for us at the throne of Our Lord, watch over all of us, and may we all be blessed!

Silver Rose

Back Room Prayer Wall

Saint Ælfflæd of Whitby - February 8th - My 20-year Anniversary as a Hermit

 

The ruins of Whitby Abbey

Seen above the town, in modern times

My 20-year anniversary

Twenty years ago, on about February 3rd, I finally became so disabled by my various injuries and illnesses that I could no longer hold down a job, and I had to retire early on my Social Security retirement insurance into which I had paid for more than 30 years. At that time, I decided that I would dedicate the remainder of my life to God alone, and three years later I entered the Catholic Church, by which time I had decided to offer my pains and sufferings for the benefit of The Church, with the intention of supporting the reunion and re-integration of the Catholic Church with the Orthodox that had split from it in 1054.

Practicing the Presence of God

In the following 17 years, while wrestling with these illnesses and defects, I read as much as I could about the examples of the saints and, to the best of my ability, I keep my mind "at the feet of The Lord," practicing the presence of God in all of my mundane doings. In every moment, I make an effort to keep my mind attuned to The Lord. He keeps me company in all of my hours, and I maintain awareness of his presence in an intimate communion with Him. Whatever I am doing, I am conscious that He is accompanying me in all of it in a quiet embrace. He is both within me and around me. When keeping touch with Him in this manner becomes difficult, I speak to Him interiorly and/or out loud and ask for his help in short sentences, such as "Lord save me!" or "Lord help me!"  It doesn't take much to get my mind back on track.

The Offering of Pain

Because of the chronic pain throughout all the bones in my body, my acetic practices do not have to be artificially created. Old-time contemplatives had the habit of denying themselves food or causing themselves some other type of pain, such as with the infamous hair shirts of the middle-ages, but I have plenty of pain to spare that my body introduces on its own, without bidding from me. While the physical pains prohibit the use of customary forms of acetic practices, they are, actually, a replacement for them. Over the years, I have gradually come to realize that my disabilities are my blessings. They both bring me closer to the Lord and act as a type of spiritual currency to offer up in reparation of the sins of the world and especially the sins of those who create division, such as the division between the Roman Catholic and the Orthodox churches.

What is Most Important

I do not pretend to have anything resembling a proper monastic schedule, due to the inability to gain cooperation of my body. Indeed, for this reason, someone like me would be a burden to any institution, which is the main reason I remain at home. But if I have learned anything in the last 20 years, it is this: What is most important is the condition of the mind and the topics on which I allow it to dwell.

Although I also suffer from a persistent type of insomnia that refuses to be tamed, this condition forces me to accept the mantle of humility. After 20 years, I simply cannot bring my schedule into line with what I consider a proper monastic schedule.  I have substituted the practice of the presence of God in every moment, even though I often wish I was not forced to do it this way, however I try to be grateful instead of focusing on the downside. It is a challenge, and I often struggle to keep the mind "on the high road," but this battle also has its benefits.

Spiritual ambition

I have noticed some chatter on social media with regard to those of us who live as monastics at home, and it has become clear to me that there is a lot of confusion around what would be considered the basics of this life that are not negotiable. Celibacy is probably the one crucial observance that everyone living as I do must absolutely follow. I have learned that every major religion which has a monastic tradition requires the same thing. Our deepest affections and attentions belong to The Lord alone.

There are some characters who advertise themselves as "anchoresses" or hermits of some sort who are married and live with husbands and children and enjoy the typical comings and goings of relatives. They are devout and fervent householders, which is a noble path, but it is not monasticism.  Due to rabid clericalism, some women discount themselves and the holy vocation of wife and mother for some idea of a quasi-monastic vocation that they mistakenly believe is somehow superior to their own.  It is not. What comes out of this confused idea is a jumbled chaotic spiritual life that manifests in an inauthentic presentation to the world. They have an emotional need for validation and their attention is not on Christ.

It is a wonderful ambition to desire to become a saint, but it is a different sort of thing to have an ambition to be REGARDED as a saint by other people. I see a lot of this on social media when I have made the mistake of joining supposedly "Catholic" groups started by women who have not had enough validation in their lives and who immediately begin to slather new members with sickeningly sweet appellations, such as "my dear child," followed up by unasked-for spiritual direction and other nonsense. The craven need to be followed and admired is sadly obvious.

The vocation of an independent hermit IS a peculiar one to begin with and, for all I know, we have to be at least a little bit "odd" to embark on it, but most of us have had an attraction for monastic life since we were children. I, for one, discovered the Carmelites when I was 11 and carried out an intense correspondence with them, much to the ire of my mother who was not at all religious and who absolutely hated Catholics! She soon put an end to my correspondence with them, but the desire for the contemplative monastic life never left me. I experimented with it in various forms, from "New Age" religions to Buddhism to Hinduism, and eventually the Catholic Faith, where I happily remain.

When you live as an urban hermit:

Living in the world but not OF the world is in many ways much more difficult than being part of a monastic institution. In a convent or monastery, one is propelled forward by the rules and watchful eyes of your sisters and superiors. Everything in your environment is geared toward the spiritual goal, and it is placed in front of your eyes and in your ears every moment of every day. Unless you go out shopping or to the doctor, it is a rarified atmosphere.

But as an independent hermit in one's own home, it is all up to you. Other than what is forced on you by society or your landlord or your physical disabilities, every decision is ultimately yours to make. Your schedule, food, rising and sleeping, prayers and observances - It is all on you. You can't just surrender to the institution. You ARE the institution.

While the Catholic Church is FULL of monastic institutions of various orders, Catholic history is rife with independent monastics who either remained at home to practice their spiritual disciplines or they went out into the wilderness to find solitude.

Our history includes hermits that eventually attracted a following around them and drew other hermits into their orbit, which was the beginning of a cenobitic lifestyle, but this is less common today due to the complex organization required, as well as financial practicalities that make it very difficult to arrange.

I try to research a saint on each day, and am helped a great deal by the Catholic.org website that publishes the names and some of the life stories of all the saints who share the calendar day as their feast day, and it is rare not to find at least ONE saint who lived as a hermit. Often, there are several.

As an independent monastic, however, we have to be careful not to put ourselves forward as some sort of official personality. While I am Catholic and I am a hermit, I try to avoid claiming to be a "Catholic hermit" for the specific reason that I want to avoid the pretense that I am somehow affiliated with the official institution of The Catholic Church.  There is a provision in the catechism for something called a "Diocesan Hermit," and I do not know what sort of bona fides one needs to have for this particular title because every time I have called the bishop's office about it, I get crickets in response. After half a dozen phone calls and brief discussions with functionaries whose job it was to coordinate this activity, I gave up. 

My impression is that, unless they already know you, you are out of luck - probably due to the inordinate number of "kooks" (as one priest described them to me.) Several "cradle Catholics" have suggested to me that if I was wealthy, the Bishop would be calling ME. I don't have trouble believing that, but in any case it is irrelevant. Considering the ever-worsening condition of my health, I probably have little to offer them anyway.  I had been attracted to the idea of possibly having the Eucharist preserved on my prayer shrine and this is the one benefit of taking Diocesan Hermit vows that keeps luring me toward it. I do not have the opportunity to regard our Lord in the host under any other circumstance, as I am rarely able to attend church, due to disabilities and lack of transportation.

Saint Ælfflæd Of Whitby, my cousin

The saint I have chosen for today is a cousin of mine: Saint Ælfflæd Of Whitby. We are each descended from a long line of saints, mostly along the female lines.  The ancestor that she and I share most closely is Clotair I, a Merovingian King of the 5th Century, whose mother was Saint Clothilde, Queen of the Franks (the French, essentially.) 

Saint Clothilde

Queen of the Franks

My 42nd Great Grandmother

4th Great Grandmother of St. Ælfflæd 

Clotair and his wife Waldrada were my 41st great grandparents. Their family line is jam packed with saints, mostly female, but some male as well.

Saint Hilda of Whitby

Not only was my cousin well connected, spiritually, but she was also a member of royalty and her line is lousy with kings and queens. This is where it becomes obvious that our destiny is often hinted at within our family circumstances because, while I was enabled to become a hermit by virtue of disability that prevented me from working, Ælfflæd  was destined by another type of circumstance.  When she was barely a year old, she was given to Saint Hilda to raise in a convent at Hartlepool. When Hilda left Hartlepool to establish the Abbey of Whitby, on land given The Church for that purpose by Ælfflæd's father, King Oswiu, she took Ælfflæd with her. Ælfflæd was still a toddler at this time.

Picture of King Oswiu

King Oswiu is credited with convening the Synod of Whitby, out of which came the decision to adopt Roman Catholic ways rather than Celtic. I have found reference to him as a saint as well, but I have to verify that.

From her infancy, you can see that my cousin was trained in the way of the monastic saints. She was also highly influential in government.  Stephen of Ripon described her thus:

"...always the comforter and the best counselor 
of the whole kingdom."

~ Stephen of Ripon
Author of The Life of St. Wilfred

In fact, there is so much really fascinating information about the life and influence of today's saint, that it inspires me to read further and, rather than wait to publish this blog post and use information that would, essentially, reinvent the wheel, so to speak, I will just post a few really good links at the bottom of this post and let you choose whether or not you also have interest in Aelfflaed.  

Advice to parents:

Many times, I have heard parents say that they will let their children decide what religion to follow when they're grown up. I just wanted to point out that whether one becomes a monastic or a lay person is often determined by circumstances of family and education, and there is a bit of a whiff of destiny in the whole thing.  I do not believe in strict "destiny" per se, but experiences, environment and education do substantially mold or prepare a person for adult life. This is why I have come to believe that raising your children in the faith is important. 

I'm not saying that one should give one's child to the church to be raised as a nun from babyhood, such as what Aelfladd had done to her, but I am just pointing out that it is better to get an early start on religious education. Everything in Aelfflad's family and life circumstances were channeling her to the path of sainthood and she accomplished great things. (Read about it through the links, below.)

I did happen to eventually come to The Faith on my own, despite efforts on the part of others to keep me out, but it took a lot of time to get to that place. In the end, the options that remained were few. You don't want your child to experience unnecessary limitations. Fortunately, convents do accept applicants at older ages than they used to.  Formerly, you had to be no older than 25!  It isn't that way any more, thanks be to God. At least that is one limitation that is less daunting in this age.

Regardless of whatever limitations or difficulties I may have endured, I find myself feeling very grateful that I am not so sick that I cannot pray or that my pain is not worse.  I am grateful to have adequate medical care and a decent place to live with a wonderful view of the Sandia mountains that turn pink at sunset. I am grateful that The Lord does not abandon me in my golden years and that he has left me with at least ONE eye with which to read His Holy Word.

Often, there is not enough money for a proper healthy diet, or to repair the ancient chariot I need to get me around, or to take the service dog to the vet, and I am most grateful for any and all charitable donations given for those things. There is a "donate" button below my picture (above right) and any amount is most appreciated. I will also get an updated Amazon wish list done up very soon. I do get tired of asking for help, as you probably also grow tired of being asked, but I must endure the humiliation as I have no choice in it.

That's all I have for you today. Please pray for me during the month-long celebration of my 20-year anniversary, and I will pray for you, as always. Look for the list of interesting links about Saint Aelfflaed, below.

God bless us all!

Silver Rose

Links to Saint Ælfflæd of Whitby:

"Saints' Bridge" blog (very well researched)

Catholic.org post about her

Wikipedia page about Aelfflaed of Whitby