Of the dozen or so remarkable people whose feast day is today, Blessed Maria Cristina Brando is my easy choice because she and I have much in common, with one glaring difference. While she came from a devout family and already knew by the time she was 12 that she wanted to become "a saint," my family was rabidly anti-religious and anti-Catholic in particular. When I was 12, I felt the tug of desire for spiritual life but had no context in which to place it.
I have written in detail about my first experiences with religion in my previous blog post titled "SCIENTOLOGY, HINDUISM, BUDDHISM, CATHOLICISM AND ME." When you read that post, you see that, by the time I was 12, I was also yearning toward walking the path of perfection but while Blessed Maria Cristina Brando was supported by her early childhood experiences, mine were the type that have to be transcended and overcome over many years of investigation, study and experimentation.
My adoption by a spiritual father was crucial to this process, and I am forever grateful to Swami Swahananda of blessed memory, a celibate monk and swami who joined the Ramakrishna Math when he himself was only 13. When he originally initiated me into the meditation practices of the Hindus, he evidently saw my destiny and initially gave me a Christ mantra, despite my never having attended any Christian Church. I wondered why he had done that, and it only became obvious much later.
When I juxtapose the basic framework of my life experiences with those of Maria Cristina, it is glaringly obvious that early childhood education in faith is essential for the spiritual health of each individual so that they don't have to spin their wheels reinventing said wheels later in life.
Having studied and practiced major world religions and lived a curriculum of comparative religions, I have seen the remarkable similarities between them all. If the ground is prepared in childhood, any seed that is planted afterward more easily grows.
Maria Cristina used to say, "I must become holy; I want to be a saint." She kept trying to enter religious life but was turned back many times due to her poor health, a situation to which I can certainly relate. She was sent home by the Poor Clares AND the Sacramentine nuns.
This is what we have most in common - a strong vocation for monastic life, but having physical weakness and/or bodily disfunction that prevents us from being welcomed by any extant group we might like to join.
Most often when spiritual personalities encounter this difficulty (and many of them HAVE) they will typically form the center of a new organization that is formed when others start to follow, or they continue in a solitary state as a hermit or anchoress, which is my condition.
Blessed Maria Cristina Brando ultimately ended up starting her own congregation with her sister and a few others called the "Sisters-Expiatory Victims of Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament." Their focus was both contemplative and active, concentrating on the adoration of the Blessed Sacrament in the Tabernacle and also the education of young women. The work of the contemplative, inner life seems contradictory to the outward going and very busy engagement of teaching children - but it obviously suited these young women who were still in their 20's when this occurred.
This is the wonderful thing about a monastic vocation. There is a monastic expression available for everyone who desires one because, while it is oft-times easier to conform one's life to a holy purpose when in the company of others in a deliberately "spiritual" atmosphere, we do not have to join a group to live out that vocation. We can be like the desert fathers or desert mothers. Who is going to tell you that you cannot live your life for God alone or dictate what work or service project you may legitimately pursue as an expression of your vocation? While Blessed Maria Cristina and her fellow sisters devoted themselves to the education of children, I paint and write about religious topics. I have become convinced that God prepares the ground for a monastic vocation from the very beginning.
God sees the barriers that other people or circumstances may erect in our path, interfering with an easy answer to His call but He provides us with the ability to overcome them in some fashion. What many do not understand is that because He has granted all of us free will, He does not force our hand, nor does He force others to accept us.
There ARE miracles, to be sure. I certainly believe in those, but I have yet to see a miracle that forces anyone to accept it. Think about the Virgin Mary. The entire Christian story was dependent upon her willingness - her "yes."
There were people in Blessed Maria Cristina's life who didn't think she was "suitable" for consecrated life. They rejected her for entry into the convent and they sent her home from other convents and they nattered about her in the town - but she didn't give up what her heart told her to do. If none of the convents would accept her, she decided to start her own. Where there is a will, there is a way.
Although I have pursued my hermit-like vocation for more than 18 years, it is certainly not "perfected." That is a lifelong aspiration that can only be approached, but never accomplished. Even after all this time in this condition, I still require inspiration, and I am grateful to Blessed Maria Cristina for showing yet another example of a disabled woman who managed to live a life consecrated to God, despite the rejection or interference of others.
Ultimately, the monastic life is a conversation between the individual soul and the Lord. It is easiest to see this clearly when one is involved in a contemplative lifestyle, but it is true for all varieties of monasticism.
I derive great inspiration from this young blessed who simply did not give up on her dream to live for God alone.
May she and all the other holy people inspire us with their strength and determination!
Sannyasini Kaliprana
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