SAINT ADELAIDE OF ITALY, MY 30TH GREAT AUNT

Saint Adelaide of Italy

(Sometimes called Adelaide of Bergundy)

931-999

My 30th Great Aunt

Most days of the year have quite a number of saints whose feasts we celebrate in the Catholic and Orthodox churches. Typically, the men are the most famous and get the most attention, while the women remain but a whisper in the background, which is why I like to concentrate on the female members of this august body, and I take great pleasure in the fact that quite a number of them are related to me. It is my hope that something of their holiness and sanctity travels down to me in our shared blood connection - our DNA. Wouldn't that be wonderful?

Saint Adelaide was the sister of King Conrad I "The Peaceful" of Bergundy, who was my 29th Great Grandfather. This family connection was researched primarily through history books and thepeerage.com, a thoroughly researched historical website that documents the families of the peerage of Great Britain and other prominent European families.

Of course, many of the women whose sainted reputations have been conveyed to us over the centuries, were also prominent figures in political history: queens and princesses. In fact, this particular saint is the patron saint of princesses, as well as abuse victims, brides, empresses, exiles, in-law problems, parenthood, parents of large families, prisoners, second marriages, step-parents, and widows.

I like to draw upon the power and dignity of figures such as these - women who sacrificed themselves for the greater good, usually for the sake of their country alliances as well as our God, and whose memory is retained in classical works of nonfiction.

Adelaide was one of those princesses who was offered up to a rival to create a more pleasing relationship with a competing kingdom, the first time at age 15, when she married Lothair II, the ersatz King of Italy, but this union barely had time to produce one child, Emma, before Lothair II died, probably of poisoning. Certain factions then tried to force Adelaide to marry the son of a Lombardy king who hoped to increase his power, but, after a few months of imprisonment, she fled to the protection of Otto I of Germany, instead, thereafter marrying him.

It is interesting to note that, breaking with custom, the Pope crowned her as Holy Roman Empress at the same time that her husband Otto was crowned Holy Roman Emperor. It says something about the esteem with which she was held in the hearts of the people of that day. They respected her, which is saying something, since women were typically nothing more than chattel in that era.

OTTO THE GREAT

Despite being used as a biological chess piece in the world belonging to men, it appears that Saint Adelaide's strong religious temperament had always been a feature of her character. She maintained a long and continuingly close relationship with Cluny, a powerful abbey in France, dedicated to St. Peter, and the center of ecclesiastical reform in that day.

CLUNY ABBEY

Saint Adelaide retired to a nunnery that she founded in 991, called Selz Abbey. She died on this date in the year 999, a handful of days short of the year 1,000 - the year that many hoped and believed would bring the second coming of Christ.  Yet, here we are, well into the 2,000 years, and no sign of Him. We could certainly use him now.

SELZ ABBEY

Even to this day, women who have discharged family responsibilities, outlived husbands (and sometimes children) are left wanting only God and, if they have money and can support themselves and a few other women, will start some sort of monastic institution and live out their days communing with the Lord. It reminds me of my current state in life, except that I live in an apartment because I am poor and can do little to rectify that situation, since I am also disabled.

While the typical trappings of the grand monastic life of a "retired' Holy Roman Empress are beyond my reach, a prayerful heart is not, so, like many of my readers, I continue on here, living the solitary monastic life of the accidental hermit.

As a person who has been subjected to abuse, I call upon the prayers of Saint Adelaide, the patron saint of abuse victims - which means that I ask her to intercede for me, just as I might ask you to pray for me, out of the goodness of your heart. I know that Adelaide was used as a pawn in the hands of the men, for the purpose of cementing political alliances and other considerations of earthly power, yet she maintained her devotion to the Heavenly powers above all else and, for this reason, she is inspiring to me.

Just this Saturday, I had occasion to call upon the sobriety and poise of a saint. I had to go to the grocery store.

Shopping is a generally traumatic event for me, mostly because of my physical disabilities and the pain and inconvenience they cause when I try to attend to my survival needs.

First of all, when I arrived at the Smiths Grocery on Constitution and Carlisle, I discovered that, although they had 3 or 4 battery-operated carts, one of them was completely dead and immovable and was blocking all the others. This is fairly typical of most stores that keep these handicap vehicles available for customers. You can tell by the manner of upkeep just how little they really care about the handicapped patrons and how little thought they put into our needs.





Since I was only purchasing 3 small items, I took the chance that I could stand in line with my cane and still make it back to my car. I was disappointed to see that, in that entire store, there were only two lanes that were open and had a human being at the helm. I am unable to deal with the computerized self-service checkouts and I also object to replacing human beings with machines, so I never get into those lines. Instead, I hobbled up to the closest line, which was clogged with people whose carts were overflowing.

There I was, leaning on my cane, carrying two bags of fresh cranberries and a tiny little smoked ham that fit in the palm of one hand. I smiled and commented to the man in front of me, "you'd think that on a Saturday they would open a few more lanes."

The man, who was about my age, turned to me with an unpleasant expression and informed me that, if I did't like it, I was free to stand in line at the self-serve. Perhaps he thought I was trying to get him to let me get in line ahead of him, when I was actually trying to make my waiting time in line as agreeable as possible and distract myself from the awful pain that was creeping up my legs.

Then again, I have turned into my grandmother, in some respects. When I was in my 20's, it used to embarrass me no end when she would turn to some stranger and strike up a conversation, but now I do it all the time myself. Everyone I run into in this world is my neighbor, either my neighbor in my apartment complex, my street, my grocery store or my town. They're my neighbors, and I am enjoined to love them, no matter how rude or inconsiderate they behave.

Typically, I will draw a slow, warm smile and continue chatting as if I do not understand or receive my neighbor's lack of charity, and that is exactly what I did this day. I didn't push myself on this man, however, since he was surly and I didn't want to aggravate him, but I DID call upon my sainted ancestor ladies for guidance and help getting through the line, with as much gravitas as I could muster. If I was a saint, what would I do? How would I behave? I ask myself questions like these during difficult times. I don't pretend to be successful in my efforts to emulate my sainted ancestors, but I do try.

I stood there, leaning on my cane, gamely smiling, for a good 20 minutes, while this man loaded a cartful of cans and boxes onto the counter. Not a vegetable in sight. It occurred to me that perhaps he was constipated, with a diet like that, and he was in a bad mood because he hadn't gone to the bathroom in 3 days. Then he handed the clerk a fistful of coupons. All of this could have been done with the computerized self-checkout that he recommended to me, so I also wonder why he did not avail himself of it. It's not like he had to weigh any vegetables!

It took a long time to get from the store to my parking spot. As I've explained before, there is not enough handicap parking at this location.

The pain was so great as a result of the physical challenge of standing in the grocery store, that I was unable to do anything but sit in my recliner the rest of the day. I could not cook a meal or clean my house, take a shower or  do anything on my feet. In fact, it was one of those days when I was unable to even change out of my clothing, and I ended up sleeping in the dress I wore to the store that day. I fell asleep in my recliner, exhausted, and woke early in the morning on Sunday.

Donald Trump mocks this disabled reporter

What is really needed is a low-slung van of some sort - a van that can be tricked out with a ramp onto which I could drive my electric scooter, so that I am not at the mercy of shop keepers and store owners. I cannot rely upon those people to meet my needs. I have begged for several  years now for funds to purchase a van and pay for it to be equipped for my electric scooter, but disabled old ladies without an exciting sob story get very little traction in the world of philanthropy. There are also a LOT of old disabled ladies living in little city apartments. America is not doing a good job of taking care of their elderly, and Americans do not care much about the poor, the disabled, the senior Americans, unless there is a great story attached. I am ordinary and therefor boring.






There is also the tendency of comfortable people to impugn the character of the poor. Whenever I talk about the poor, the first thing said is usually something about drugs, ignoring the fact that MOST poor people do not take illicit drugs and MOST poor people are NOT able bodied people who "refuse to work."

Then there is the Trump factor. I disapprove of Trump's lies, misogyny, and xenophobia, his prejudice against the disabled and other minorities; his criminal; unethical self-dealing; and his vulgarity. On top of all this, he is a terrible bully - mocking disabled people and others who are weaker and have less power than himself. He punches down, and I don't like it.

I have spoken frankly about this, at which point "Catholics" in real life, on Facebook and here at my little blog, have shunned me because of it. Even a donor in IRELAND took umbrage at my disapproval of Trump and withdrew her occasional assistance with increasingly passive aggressive, then angry emails. It is the first time in my life that people have snubbed me for a political purpose. I do not pretend to know the hearts or minds of people trapped in the Trump cult and won't venture a guess about motive or incentive, but it does seem rather small and peevish to me. Our American democracy celebrates our freedom of speech, among other things, and to retaliate against a handicapped woman for expressing a different political perspective is the antithesis of our democratic philosophy, and certainly does not comport with general Christian values.

Anyway, I digress. For whatever reason, my disapproval of Trump or my boring story, the point is that my efforts at begging have not been terribly fruitful and, although I am leaving the "donate" button on this blog, I have stopped flogging my GOFUNDME CAMPAIGN . It doesn't seem worth the humiliation.

For all these reasons, it is even more important for me to become better acquainted with the saints, many of whose lives were more painful, more stressful and more poverty stricken than mine (except for the empresses and princesses. THEY probably do not run out of food at the end of every month! Their sacrifices and trials were of a different nature.)  The saints typically offer up the difficulties - and many of them did, indeed, die much sooner than they would have if they'd had their survival needs met, but there is no indication that they did much, if anything, to take care of their health or longevity. I am usually pro-active about my health, but perhaps that is the wrong way to go.

My 30th great aunt, Saint Adelaide of Italy, whose feast day we celebrate today, may not have suffered privations, per se, but she was used as a pawn in a political chess match in which her body was traded for political power. I wonder if she really gave consent to either of her marriages. Her consent did not appear to be necessary at the time. Regardless, I look to her as an example of how to survive in this brutal world with a little grace and dignity, AND, especially, without losing faith! That is the most important aspect.

God bless us all.

Silver "Rose"