FRIENDSHIP

"I understood that every flower created by Him is beautiful,

that the brilliance of the rose and the whiteness of the lily do

not lessen the perfume of the violet or the sweet simplicity 

of the daisy. I understood that if all the lowly flowers wished

to be roses, nature would no longer be enameled with lovely

hues. And so it is in the world of souls, our Lord's living garden."

~ Saint Therese of Lisieux ~

My standard of friendship is the same for others as it is for myself.  Honesty, kindness and other signifiers of good character are important to me, as well as a sympathetic nature. I mourn with those that mourn and rejoice with those who rejoice, and I appreciate the same treatment from those I gift with my friendship.

Social status, wealth or poverty have no bearing on whether or not I would choose to befriend a person.

In response to Jesus' commandment to love my neighbor, I actually try to exhibit love and friendship toward whomever comes into my field  of activity. I am not perfect, and I do fail to do as well as I might toward this goal, but it does remain a goal of mine.

I firmly believe that the motives of other people should not be impugned without significant evidence, so I make a practice of assuming that, with the exception of a small percentage of sociopaths and misanthropes, no one deliberately chooses evil.

Believing that someone is wrong about a topic is not the same thing as attacking their character.

"Nothing is sweeter than to think well of others."

Saint Therese of Lisieux

Even with regard to the current political climate, I do not reject friends because they voted for Donald Trump. Adherence to my political views is not essential for friendship because I do not live on that plane of existence.

I do not impute evil motives to people who voted for Trump. Because I am pro-life, I almost voted for him. Then I researched the matter. I believe that most of Trump's supporters, if they understood the truth about him, would no longer support him. I credit most of them with being well-meaning, but misguided. They believe what he and his representatives say. I cannot account for why they are unaware of or discount the facts that are reported widely by professional journalists. I often find this frustrating, but it still is not enough to dissuade me from being friends.

A category by themselves are those who are "one issue voters" who choose to ignore or avoid knowledge of Trump's defects because they feel that the abortion issue is more important than anything else and they believe he will appoint judges to the Supreme Court who will make abortion illegal again.

I don't believe this method will accomplish the hoped-for aim. I also don't agree with the assumption that making abortion illegal is more important than anything else, but I certainly understand why some people come to that decision. These issues are complex, weighty and difficult. I choose to believe that people of good faith are doing the best they can to do the "right" thing.

Although I have never rejected a friend because of their support for a political figure or party, I have been rejected by friends and acquaintances who are mad that I don't support Trump. They are mad when I write about his lies and criminal activities. They accuse me of hate, and they break off the friendship, even though it patently obvious that Trump's words and actions are hateful. Objecting to hate is not hateful.

It has surprised me that many of these fair-weather friends have been Christians of various stripes. I perceive that what Trump does and says is the opposite of what Jesus said to do and say, and yet some Christians tell me "the hand of God is on Trump."  I am flabbergasted by the cognitive dissonance. I really don't understand it, and probably never will.

While most people around the world are disgusted by our "president," there is an Irish reader of my blog, who has several times donated toward it, who has suddenly started writing me unpleasant emails, from Ireland, of all places, where she is a big "supporter" of Donald Trump, which puzzles me. She's known since 2016 that my research has garnered my disapproval of the liar-in-chief. She can't vote for him, and his policies will not affect her, but she is so invested in him that she is mad at me for not being likewise inclined and feels insulted by what I have written about him. The whole thing is very odd.

I suspect that my so-called "Irish" reader is actually an American posing as an Irish person to hide their identity. I don't assume that my suspicion is a fact. That would be wrong. But I HAVE often wondered why that person has such a strong investment in the president of another country on the other side of the planet.

We have written to one another, off and on, for the last few years, and I was enjoying the spiritual friendship, but I really don't know who she is, whether she has given me her real name, or even if she really is Irish because, while I am pretty much transparent, here in blogland, she is using a phony email address through a service that disguises your real one. Who is she, really?

I wasn't about to take back what I said about Trump, but she was disingenuously claiming those comments had insulted her so that she could lambaste me, on the one hand, with criticisms of Democrats (with whom I do not identify and to whom I feel no loyalty) and self-congratulatory digs about having donated money, on the other hand. The chastisements were exhausting.

While I won't drop a friend because of some political affiliation, I will send someone packing who is dishonest with me or harasses me, which is what I had to do with this "Irish" woman.

"One measure of friendship consists not in the number

of things friends can discuss, but in the number of things
they need no longer mention."

Clifton Fadiman

Stepping back from this particular situation, I note that this phase in our political life has created an overall atmosphere of harsh dishonesty I find alarming, because it is fracturing relationships and sowing a general discord - apparently, around the entire planet and not just in America!  I thank God that I have a handful of kindly well-wishers remaining who, though they may disagree with me on one issue or another, are people of sterling character who do not abuse me.

If I have anything of value to offer readers about this topic, I would encourage everyone to consciously develop a criteria for friendship, based upon the values that you hold in common, rather than befriending someone because they voted for the same guy you did last time around or because they have a pleasing personality.

Silver Rose

Sannyasini Kaliprana