When the news broke of the release of the report about the pedophile scandal in the Catholic Church in Pennsylvania, all hell broke loose on social media, and everyone seemed to be focused on lengthy discussions about how to punish the evildoers, and how to fix the Catholic Church so that this does not happen any more.
At first, I joined the conversations. As a convert, I was horrified by the revelations of the ever-widening scope of the pedophile ring. Then I realized that none of the posts I was reading made mention of the victims. The focus seemed entirely on the perpetrators, present and future. I found that odd.
After questioning many people about this remarkable lack of interest in the victims, and reading many weak and unconvincing arguments about why it was somehow 'right' to ignore them, I realized that there is STILL considerable squeamishness around this topic. WHY? Evidently, the fact that the victims were subjected to sexual abuse makes other people feel uncomfortable.
As a victim of several instances of childhood sexual abuse and rape, I am speaking out for the victims in the Catholic Church scandal. Rapes and assaults are not part of the "sexual history" of someone who has been assaulted, and there is no reason why anyone should be embarrassed about the fact that they have been victimized. Assault and rape are not "sex." They are crimes against innocent persons. Though my PTSD would flare dramatically if I was made to recount the details, I do not mind presenting my credentials as one of a huge group of people violated by adults when we were children.
I was sexually abused by my father when I was a toddler.
My first stepfather tried to rape me when I was 7 years old.
My second step father tried to strangle me when I was 11.
When I was 14, I was drugged, gang raped, and thrown into a river to die.
Instead of just jumping right into a vigorous discussion about how to punish the latest batch of perpetrators and their co-conspirators, I would ask, what would Jesus do? His first care would be for the victims, which is what I recommend.
Empathy, sympathy, kindness, emotional support, prayer vigils; these are all good things, but mostly I recommend that, instead of barging in and making pronouncements of the causes and cures of the pedophilia problem in the Catholic Church, we should first care for the victims.
While most of us will not have access to the actual victims of these specific crimes, neither do we have access to the movers and shakers in the curia. Our impact on the authorities at the top of the institutional hierarchy is no different than the impact we might have on the victims. There is really no good reason why we should be ignoring the victims and jumping on top of the "crime and punishment" aspect of the issue, nattering endlessly about what caused this and how to fix.
It is nearly hilarious the large number of people who behave as if their opinion about what the Church should do is very very important. Very. Never mind that none of us has any power over what the Vatican does! Their opinion is important, darn it! (Sarcasm.) There are fights breaking out. It is unnecessary, and I have the feeling that all the effort spent in arguing for one's personal opinion just rubs the emotional wounds raw. We are powerless in the grip of disturbing news about the government and about the church, and it is all too much.
Don't get me wrong. I have an opinion, but I'm not married to it. Basically, I think the cause of this widespread problem in the institution of the church is Satan. Satan loves to attack The Church. He infiltrates as a wolf among the sheep. He enters the seminaries. He rises in the ranks.
Putting aside the spiritual reality of the situation, I offer the observation that predators are attracted to any situation in which he or she will have access to their prey. You find them in the schools, in the support staff for team sports, in day care centers. Wherever there is easy access to the predator's preferred prey, they are there.
For instance, divorced mothers with young children are famously vulnerable to pedophiles who move into the home and, at night when the wife is asleep, or when they are 'babysitting,' they assault the children. Scores of vulnerable women have been fooled into letting men into their home and trusting these virtual strangers to have access to their children, based upon nothing more substantial than a bunch of sweet sounding words, a few expensive dinners, and some gifts. The man did not become a pedophile AFTER he moved into the home. He was always a pedophile. He targeted that home and those children.
Many people are saying that "The Church" created predators. In their mind, it is because of celibacy or clericalism or the lack of female priests. Homosexuality gets the blame by some, who mistakenly believe that abuse of boys by men assumes that the perpetrator is homosexual. (Some ARE homosexual, but if they routinely violate children, they are pedophiles! Homosexuality and pedophilia are two separate things!)
The Church, like schools and day care centers and young mothers with underage children, represent opportunities in which predators hope to enjoy close access to prey. Access to prey doesn't CREATE the predators. Predators are the wolves. The Church is a pen that holds the lambs. The wolves do whatever they have to do to get access to the lambs.
But, whatever the cause of these crimes, I would suggest that everyone stop wasting their time trying to figure it out on Facebook. The public at large is not in possession of all the facts necessary to come to a proper conclusion, no matter how convinced we are of our accuracy in diagnosing the causes and cures of the problems the church currently faces. It is way beyond our pay grade.
So, what SHOULD we do? First, I recommend continual prayers for the victims and, if you have the ability, donate your time and your money to agencies that help with mental health concerns because people who have been assaulted by predators usually grow into adults with considerable emotional and psychological baggage. Some commit suicide. MANY go on to become abusers themselves, and that's a real tragedy. We should stay centered in love, care and concern for these souls who continue to suffer for the rest of their lives. The damage of abuse can be ameliorated, but it is never eliminated.
This is the jumping off point where research into the agencies that administer programs for adult survivors of abuse can be helpful. We do not have to find those specific people who suffered at the hands of these particular priests. Anyone who has been violated is in need of our prayers, and the community of sufferers in our society is huge.
There are many possible avenues of help, and this little blog is not meant to be exhaustive. I am just trying to get people to give some attention to the victims instead of pontificating about punishments.
It is worth noting, also, that many people are using this opportunity to trash Catholic moral teaching on sexual matters, wrongly claiming that celibacy is responsible for the assaults. There is absolutely NO evidence for that point of view whatsoever. Many religions advocate for the restraint of the sexual urges as a means of accessing higher mystical realms.
We can only have faith that, somehow, the institutional church will repair itself. Like everyone else, I have many ideas about how that might be accomplished, but it would be a waste of my time and yours to prattle on about it here.
I know several people who are leaving because of this scandal. My approach is to stay and fight Satan, but I understand some people do not feel strong enough to do it. They will learn, in future, that "The Catholic Church" did not create the predators and that Satan and his minions are everywhere. Perhaps the disaffected Catholics will return, once the overwhelming reality of the situation is demonstrated to them.
OF COURSE we should let our feelings be known and heard at the highest levels in the church hierarchy, but effective change will not be easily made, because this problem has been known for many many years, and the hierarchy is so clogged with perverts, little has been done.
But let us not forget to care for the victims. After all, when we happen upon a terrible accident on the highway, we take care of the injured first.
God save us all.
Silver Rose
Amen!
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