JUDGE NOT

In one context, Jesus said, "Judge not that ye be not judged.  For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again." (Matthew 7:1-3) This is the one Bible phrase some people have committed to heart, and they frequently use it to condone sinful actions in an attempt to shut up anyone who points out that their behavior runs counter to the Christian faith. People who use this tactic are obscuring the meaning of the verse.

Judgment, such as the rabble that judged the woman caught in adultery, is the process of deciding a person's guilt and punishment.  In this instance, the rabble were going to act as executioners and stone the woman to death for her sin.  It WAS sin, and Jesus did tell the woman to "go and sin no more." So what is meant by not judging someone else?  Jesus did not opt for punishment, but neither did he tell the sinner to "go and sin some more," or "what you are doing is OK."  He never condoned sin.  He spoke against it.  Speaking against sin is not "judging" someone.  Behaving as judge and jury and telling a person that they are going to hell, i.e., deciding on their ultimate fate and punishment, is the type of "judgment" being spoke about.  Only God knows the ultimate disposition of each soul.

Part of the good news of Christianity is delivering with clarity the message about those things which are deemed sinful in the eyes of God.  To tell a person that fornication outside of marriage is a sin, i.e., not the highest good that God has in mind for us, is to deliver part of the good news.  We are required to do it.  Our focus is on relaying the information about the act, and not in castigating the person who may be practicing that sinful act, i.e., not judging the person.

When instructing the apostles in how they were to behave if their words were rejected by the people to whom they brought the good news, he said to "shake the dust from" their feet and leave that place. Shaking the dust from one's feet was a way of strongly saying that you reject those people just like dirt.

"As you enter the house, give it your greeting.  If the house is worthy, give it your blessing of peace.  But if it is not worthy, take back your blessing of peace.  Whoever does not receive you, nor heed your words, as you go out of that house or that city, shake the dust off your feet..."  (Matthew 10:12-14)

This sounds harsh to the ears of the people who believe in the unicorn-and-fairies Jesus that they have invented, but, practically speaking, what else could the apostles do?  Jesus had told them that when people hear and accept the words of the apostles, they are hearing and accepting Jesus and thereby hearing and accepting the words of God.

Unicorn and rainbow Jesus

Invented by Anti-Christians

"Whoever hears you, hears me.  And whoever despises you, despises me.  And whoever despises me, despises Him who sent me."  (Luke 10:16)

If the people did not accept the good news, the apostles were to move on to people who would.  God created us as creatures with free will, after all, and we are free to choose evil rather than good.  It is only our love freely given that God desires.

When Paul is instructing the church in his first letter to the Corinthians, he points out that "the spiritual person, however, can judge everything, but is not subject to judgment by anyone." (1Corinthians 2:15.)  This is because "we have not received the spirit of the world but the Spirit that is from God, so that we may understand the things freely given us by God.  And we speak about them, not with words taught by human wisdom, but with words taught by the Spirit, describing spiritual realities in spiritual terms." (1 Corinthians 2:12-13)

The New Catholic Answers Bible makes the point that "The spiritual person...is not subject to judgment; since spiritual persons have been given knowledge of what pertains to God, they share in God's own capacity to judge.  One to whom the mind of the the Lord (and of Christ) is revealed (1 Cor 2:11-12, they share in God's own capacity to judge.  One to whom the mind of the Lord (and of Christ) is revealed (1 Cor 2:16) can be said to share in some sense in God's exemption from counseling and criticism."

This "spiritual person" does not contradict the words of Christ because "the mind of the Lord (and of Christ)" has been revealed to the spiritual person and that person shares the mind of God (Christ) to some degree.  Those who refute the words of Jesus and of those He sent out to spread the gospel, those who speak against His church and its Biblical precepts, are obviously not in tune with the Lord (and Christ)  and do not share in the above-referenced "exemption from counseling and criticism."

Jesus warned that, in times to come, some people would call out to him "Lord, Lord" but will not be saved because they are not faithful to Him.  He will send them away and tell them that he does not know them.  In several places he comments that those who love him will follow his commandments.

"He who has My commandments and keeps them is the one who loves Me; and he who loves Me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and will disclose Myself to him."  (John 14:21)

The apostles spent time with Jesus Himself.  When Jesus was walking the earth in human form, they interacted with Him, watched Him and listened to Him.  He deputized them to go out into the world and teach what He had taught them.  He rose after death and again instructed them.  Afterwards, he sent the Holy Spirit to light upon them.  They were spiritual people, touched by God Himself, speaking for God, by God's authority.  They, in turn, transmitted their authority to the next generation of preachers, and it has been thus for the last 2,000 years.

Just as the Jesus and the Holy Spirit transmitted something spiritually tangible and authoritative to the apostles, they likewise transmitted this to those that came after them.  This is called "apostolic succession" and is of crucial importance to the faith.

We live in a world where, even those who claim to be followers of Christ and who call for him, "Lord! Lord!," are at the same time speaking against the teachings of the Church that have been carried forward, intact, for 2,000 years.  They despise the words of the Apostles, thereby despising Jesus and the One who sent him.  They despise His church, many of them from within the church. Like large tapeworms, they consume the church and its resources from the inside while encouraging others to attack it from the outside.

Are we to sit back while the worm destroys its host because, supposedly, we aren't supposed to object because it means we are "judging" people?  Ireland recently approved "marriage" between people of the same sex.  Jesus said that a man and a woman become one in the sacrament of marriage.  A man and a woman. The secular world tells us that we are being bigoted and hateful if we speak in favor of marriage between a man and a woman, which even nature tells us is the only intended purpose of male and female.

If someone claims they are Catholic and they proceed to tell me that marriage between two people of the same sex is perfectly fine, or that it is alright that abortion is legal, or that artificial contraception is the modern way to be and that Jesus would be fine with all of it, am I to sit in tacit agreement so that I can avoid being called "judgmental" and other names?

No.  I have a responsibility to carry forward the good news of Christianity.  If, however, I am despised because of it, I will kick the dirt from my sandals and move on.

Silver "Rose" Parnell
Copyright (c) 2015
All rights reserved

5 HINTS TO BETTER HELP THE POOR IN AMERICA

From www.nokidhungry.org

This blog post is for those who already acknowledge that helping the poor is a good thing to do. Christians are required to feed the hungry, clothe the naked, heal the sick and visit the prisoners, according to the words of Jesus.  I have to assume I have a tremendously large target audience, since there are so many self-identified Christian in America.  People of other faiths and no faith are also invested in helping the poor, so, for the tiny minority of people who think that helping the poor is not something they want to do, for whatever reason, please don't bother reading this.

For the rest of you, I want to say that it is important to get a good picture of what is actually happening with the poor of this country and how it is we came to have 46 million poor people in a land that is rich with resources.  While a certain portion of this problem is barely addressed by government programs that are being threatened with cuts or elimination, there remains a great need in this country for individuals of good will to step up and help those less fortunate than themselves.

The confusing thing is that poverty doesn't look like poverty in America.  The standard of living is so high that the poor live in apartments or houses that look nice, that have refrigerators and washers and dryers, but there's little or no food in the fridge, and there isn't enough money to keep ahead of the utility bills to pay for running the washer/dryer, the fridge and everything else.  Dental care and eyeglasses are beyond the reach of at least half of the poor and nearly poor.  Medical care is spotty, and sometimes they can't pay for the prescription and over-the-counter medicines they need.  They're living in a golden cage, but the seed dish is empty.

Before you decide how you as an individual are going to prioritize your efforts to help the poor, I would like to suggest 5 steps that you can take, in the order provided, to make it an activity that is informed, satisfying and effective.

1)  DO YOUR HOMEWORK.  Research basic statistics through reliable sources the provide source data and statistics. Ignore anecdotal stories from your friends and Facebook contacts, as well as opinion pieces about the great unwashed poor and what we should do about them.  Understand the overall picture by digesting the raw data.  See some of my own resources at the end of this blog.

I have found that reviewing comparative charts prepared from the raw data is a good way to visualize the issue.

If you see a conspiracy under every rock and you distrust every agency that collects statistics, I can't help you, because it is impossible to understand a situation that exists outside yourself if you refuse to recognize any authority but yourself or those persons whose opinions already jive with yours.

2)  Listen to and read the opinions of only those people who have expertise in the areas of economics and poverty demographics and who are authorities in their own right and who rely upon credible facts when forming their opinions and strategy.  Particularly ignore anyone who claims to have "secret" information that "the government" is trying to hide from us.  They're peddling the Brooklyn Bridge.

3)  Once you have digested the data, you will come away with a good picture of poverty in America.  There are about 46 million poor people in our country and several million who are nearly poor.  You can't help them all, aside from paying your taxes (a very tiny percentage of which goes to government entitlement programs), so you'll have to begin to focus on the subset you'd like to help the most.

Keep this in mind: You are not paying ANY taxes toward the upkeep of the poor, unless you are making more than $50,000 income per year. If you make $50,000, only $7 of your taxes will go to welfare. That's for the whole year. You aren't entitled to an opinion about the poor when you're only paying $7 a year to help them.

Often, when I mention the poor, people immediately make reference to panhandlers and the homeless, even though that group represents an itty bitty speck in the 46 million sea of poor people.  I myself require assistance from friends in order to struggle through every single month, but I also find myself helping the homeless in several ways.  Take it as a given that you'll do a little something to help them in addition to your other activities.  Theirs is a special situation that doesn't represent the rest of the poor.

This is the stage at which a great deal of prayer and soul searching are required.  Which demographic of the poor will you help?

In America, the poorest of the poor, people whose income is below about $700 a month, are the ones who get the government benefits and free health care.  They used to also receive dental care and eyeglasses, but in the numerous cuts to benefits over the last few years, dental care and eye care may have been eliminated from Medicaid.

I would say that, as far as survival is concerned, the poorest people who make up the bottom third of the spectrum are, in some respects, better off than the poor whose income is slightly higher because the bottom third are the only ones who qualify for government programs.  NONE of the poor are "doing well," however.  They are all scrabbling for survival.

I belong to a rather large demographic of disabled people who, because of their illnesses, have needs that are much more expensive than the needs of an able-bodied, healthy person.  Our disability income is probably half what we need to combat our medical problems.  For instance, due to various conditions, I am supposed to get regular therapeutic massages, eat organic food, use organic cosmetics, have a service dog, and a super commercial vacuum that eliminates dust in my environment, but I can't afford any of it, so I feel ill all the time and walk like an 80 year old.)

One of my neighbors once said to me, "Why aren't you working?  You look fine to me."  Big sigh. No human being can look at another human being and magically see everything that is wrong with them.  Consequently, no one can automatically anticipate another person's needs, which brings me to category number 4:

4)  ASK the poor what they need.  Don't decide for them and then try to thrust it on them.  Recently, an acquaintance texted me and said that she had gone to the food bank and was bringing me a box of food. Trouble is, I can't eat any of it.  My diet is restricted because of my stomach ailments and my numerous allergies.  I thanked her, told her I couldn't use it, and asked her to give it to someone else. She said she would take it to some agency and that THEY would be grateful for it (unlike me, who would not take it from her.)

I will be eternally grateful to my two Catholic friends who call me every month and ask me if I need something in particular from Costco or from a favorite grocery store or from the vitamin catalog. Without these angels of mercy, I would be in a much worse position than I am.

5)  Finally, don't forget the poverty of loneliness that infects our country.  There are a lot of isolated poor and sick people who rarely get a visitor.  Visit a nursing home.  Invite one of the church ladies to your house for a meal.  Take a lonely person to breakfast.  It will mean the world to them.

After you have done all the research and rubbed elbows with the poor and made friends among them, let all this education and experience help inform your voting pattern during the coming elections.

Here are some links of some of the reputable sources for statistics that I mentioned:

U.S CENSUS BUREAU

UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF LABOR - Bureau of Labor Statistics

U.S. DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES

POVERTY THRESHHOLDS TO RECEIVE ASSISTANCE FROM US DEPT OF HEALTH AND HUMAN SERVICES

ECONOMIC AND STATISTICS ADMINISTRATION - UNITED STATES DEPARTMENT OF COMMERCE

BUREAU OF ECONOMIC ANALYSIS

PEW RESEARCH CENTER - WHO IS POOR IN AMERICA?

WEB PAGES THAT LIST AUTHORITATIVE SOURCES ON POVERTY:

CENTER ON BUDGET AND POLICY PRIORITIES
Multiple sources, including U.S. Department of Labor, Dept. of Commerce, Census Bureau, etc.

BREAD FOR THE WORLD
Includes data from the U.S. Department of Agriculture

POVERTY PROGRAM
This website uses data from the U.S. Census Bureau, The Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, American Medical Association Archives of Pediatric and Adolescent Medicine, UNICEF, the United Nations, the Boston Globe, United for a Fair Economy, The Equality Trust, University of Massachusetts' Center on Social Policy, Report by Allen Greenspan ECONOMIC APARTHEID, Michael Gorman of the American Library Association

CENTER FOR POVERTY RESEARCH - UNIVERSITY OF CALIFORNIA AT DAVIS
Citing a report on Income and Poverty in the United States (2013), US Census Bureau, and other sources.

SAMPLE CHARTS DERIVED FROM AUTHORITATIVE SOURCES:

Sources:  Office of Management and Budget,

U.S. Dept. of Agriculture, Dept. of Health and 

Human Services, Dept. of Labor, 

U.S. Census Bureau

Redistribution of Wealth between 1970 and 2005

Data from Department of Labor

One of the experts upon whom I rely for informed opinion and expertise gleaned from both education and extensive experience in the field of economics is Robert Reich.

Picture from ROBERT REICH OFFICIAL WEB PAGE

Robert Reich was the Secretary of Labor in the Clinton Administration.  He was named by Time magazine as one of the ten most effective cabinet secretaries of the twentieth century.  He is currently Professor of Public Policy at the University of California at Berkeley and the Senior Fellow at the Blum Center for Developing Economies.  He has written thirteen books, two of which became best sellers.  His new film, "Inequality For All," is now available on Netflix, iTunes, DVD and On Demand.

"INEQUALITY FOR ALL" movie trailer

I hope my suggestions are helpful to you.

God bless us all.

Silver Rose Parnell

(c) 2015

OPINION AS KING

Mr. Fuzzy Pants, king of the house and ruler of all he surveys.

His opinion, which he expresses QUITE loudly, is law....or

so he tells me.

I wish I hadn't read Facebook today.  The political season of crazy has begun.  The worse of it are the lies that are foisted off as a "difference of opinion."  Large numbers of people have LENGTHY "opinions" and will fight vociferously for their position.  The only problem is, in the course of championing their cause, they spew lies right and left.  I call them lies because, well, that's what they are.

So, with Christian charity, I initially assume that these lies are just a product of a lack of education, so I provide definitive sources that prove that what they've said is not true...and they continue to defend the lie and say that it is true.  For these people, their opinion holds more weight than facts.

So it is with Satan.  He, the father of lies, presents the lies as Truth and the Truth as lies.

There is a very good reason why "Thou shalt not lie" is one of the 10 commandments.  You have to admit that 10 is not a big number, right?  Every one of those 10 items is crucially important for our spiritual well being.  Even some Christians don't seem to take it seriously, though.  I have been very surprised by this phenomena, since becoming a Catholic.

Some months ago, I caught one woman telling multiple lies on the telephone in order to manipulate someone into doing something she wanted.  When I questioned her, she said, "It's not a lie.  It's just a story."  When I explained that I was concerned about her immortal soul, she said, "Oh, don't you worry about me, little girl.  I'm just fine.  I'll be going to heaven, don't you worry about it."

Well, first of all, she was younger than me, so I suppose the "little girl" comment was an attempt to discount me.  This person was so wedded to her opinion that she wasn't going to let facts get in the way of what she wanted to do.  In her exalted opinion, it is alright to tell lies if you call them "stories."

I know our God is a loving God, but he also expects that, if we love him we will do what he says to do.  If we don't, then we don't go to heaven.  Don't find fault with me for repeating Christ's position on this.  Take it up with Him if you disagree.

Still, this rainbows and lollipops and unicorns Jesus is all the rage among people who just do not want to make any effort to "become perfect as your father in heaven is perfect."  I am not talking about the people who aspire to holiness and fail now and again.  That's a different circumstance.

I had to block two people from my Facebook list today because they defended lies about the church that were obviously intended to manipulate people into choosing one political party over another. Even when faced with proof from the American bishops that they were lies, they staunchly defended their lies.  Their opinion could not be touched or changed by truth or facts.  Their opinion is king.  God save the poor wretches.  They need our prayers.

When we do not defer to God, but instead rely upon on our opinion, we are in big trouble.  I rather think the road to hell is paved with these self-referential opinions.  After all, that's how Satan ended up there.  In his opinion, he was as good as God, and look where it got him.

Silver "Rose" Parnell
(c) 2015

IS YOUR CALENDAR A MINEFIELD OF SORROW?

Grandpa Edward Joseph Shea II, Great Grandma

Mary Alice Merkel Shea, and Ruth E. Brewer Shea

(Grandpa's 3rd wife)

This time of year is hard for me because, even though I (ostensibly) live as a religious person and consider God the father MY father, and the Blessed Virgin Mary as MY mother, the secular calendar and its holidays assert themselves, not just on the calendar on the wall, but in all the advertisements around me, the entertainments, and the sales at the shops.  Inevitably, most of these holidays point back to family, and I have huge family issues.

The picture of my grandfather and great grandmother, above, was kindly forwarded to me by email by a cousin I found on the internet after YEARS of searching for my father's paternal family.  I never met that grandfather or great grandmother, although I could have, given that in 1977 (when this picture was taken) I was living in California and was in my 20's.  I was IN San Francisco, near where they lived, many times, because my mother's mother lived there and I visited often.

My father's mother, however, refused to help me find my grandfather and his family.  She hated him, and therefore she would not help me.   She herself had never been but vaguely interested in me or my sibling.  I think I met her twice when I was very young.  Likewise, her children (my aunt and uncles) with the second husband took no interest in us.  We were the product of the first husband's child.  This picture is the closest I will ever get to my granddad or his other children, my other aunts and uncles.

From my genealogy research, I have gleaned a long line of divorces in the family.  With each divorce, more brokenness enters the family line.  We lose our connection to relatives.

Edward Joseph Shea III

My Dad

My parents likewise divorced very early on, and my father proceeded to pursue multiple women, married a couple more, but used to brag that, "I have never been faithful to any woman and I never will be."  How much of that misguided bravado and immoral worldview was bred into him by a family line that could not manage to stick with one partner, for whatever reason?  His own father either abandoned him or was kept from him, or both.  How had that affected how he dealt with his own marriages and children?

I was horrified when my father showed up at my apartment once (the only time he had ever just dropped in on me) and announced that he was leaving his wife because she might have cancer and she might have to have a mastectomy.  He was very agitated.  I have no idea why he came to me, but I gave him a piece of my mind and sent him away, telling him he could not leave a woman just because she was sick and might not have a perfect body any more.  Where does this kind of thinking come from?

I think that, generally speaking, children of broken families just do not learn how to be whole.  They are always insecure as people and never see the benefit of an intact family...because they have never experienced an intact family.  At the slightest provocation, they run to the next mate.

When a father leaves a family, especially when the children are very young, it often breaks the father/child bond.  Subsequent mistresses and wives do not want the children of a previous wife to be in the life of the father and actively work to break the relationships, usually successfully.  It is nature to do so.  Females of the species are attracted to the security of a man's resources, money, etc.  Having no bond with the children of another woman, there is no interest in seeing to the survival of those children in any respect.  At least, this is the utilitarian, primitive perspective.

My sibling and I were raised in a tiny bubble, with a nearly insane, sickly mother, in poverty, while my father bought airplanes, spent Christmas in Aspen with some woman or another, and generally pursued his own pleasures without thought of the cost to his children.  I loved my father very much, as is natural for any child, and spent most of my life doing a frantic tap dance in my attempts to convey that love and get love in return.  But he grew more and more detached.

I went on to marry men like my father.  My first husband began an affair while I was pregnant and, when I discovered it, he told me, "I never promised you I would be faithful!"  How did I miss that?  My son was 2 weeks old at the time.  Then proceeded my own broken life, and my son was the one who suffered most.  He couldn't understand why Mom and Dad were not together, and I was not about to tell him about the mistresses that his Daddy would not give up.

My son at age 6, and me, about to

go to lunch with my Dad

My son later committed slow suicide with alcohol, drugs and ignoring a diabetic condition.  At age 40, he was gone, leaving an angry teenage daughter behind, as well as me, his dad, a stepmom, and many friends.  My son's wife had already left him, after 15 years of marriage, because living with a sick man was like living with her father.  At least, that is what she told me.  So she lost some weight, slapped a tramp stamp on her backside and moved 1,000 miles away to live with another man.

I fully expect my orphaned granddaughter to fall into the family tradition of broken relationships.  And so it goes.

What does this have to do with the calendar?  Well, this month was mother's day and is also the anniversary of my father's death 6 years ago.  In June, I have to contend with fathers' day, and in September will be my son's birthday.  In December will be the 2 year anniversary of my son's death.  Then there's Christmas, which is supposed to be about Christ, but in America is all about family...and there is no family here.  January is my mother's birthday anniversary.  February is my grandmother's birthday anniversary.  There's no end.

Each time an anniversary rolls around, my PTSD flares up and I have the fight of my life.  I throw myself on the mercy of the Lord and pray that the memories will abate and that I will not drown in sadness.

Yes, I wish I was a saint and could just sail through life unperturbed by the brokenness, but, at best, I can resist the urge to sink into a depression and despair, reminding myself that "...my father and my mother have left me; but the Lord has taken me up."  Ps. 26:10

Concentrating on the beauty of the present moment, the many gifts and graces with which the Lord constantly showers me, and the great good fortune of being able to live in a country that is not destabilized with war and violence, is a daily practice of mine.  It is how I fight Satan and the memories of his work in this world, in my life, and in my family.  He likes me sad and despairing and thinks that I will lose heart and follow him again, as I did before my baptism and conversion, but I am determined to avoid his clutches.  My walls are choked full of beautiful icons and crosses to meditate upon and remember the Truth.  I use the sacramentals of Holy Water and blessed roasaries.  I pray to the Lord.  I ask for Mary's intercession.  I feel the sadness, but I will not let it take me down.

There is a reason why Jesus hated divorce and remarriage.  Judging from the number of walking wounded in our world, I am surprised that most of us have not made the connection between what He advocated and what we do in our lives.  But that is a bigger problem than I can handle at the moment.

Right now, I am working on substituting religious holidays for the distressing family holidays.  Coming up in a few days is Pentacost, a beautiful holiday in itself, but also the anniversary of my entry into the Catholic Church.  I was confirmed on that day, with its beautiful imagery.  I am training my mind on THAT, with great difficulty.  Please pray that I am successful.

God bless us all

Silver "Rose" Parnell
(c) 2015
All rights reserved.

PRAY FOR NEPAL

I woke up this morning feeling very grateful that I was born in a country with amazing resources and a high standard of living.  Even though close to the poverty level, I have an adorable, clean, sturdy apartment; hot and cold running water; a fairly safe food supply; nice clothes in my closet; hobbies and friends; a wonderful church community.

As of this morning, the confirmed death toll as a result of the recent earthquake in Nepal is nearly 8,000 souls, at 7,912.  The utter devastation is due to a combination of factors, mostly a very strong quake combined with antiquated buildings.  About 298,000 houses were destroyed, and more than 10,000 government buildings collapsed.  About 8 million other people have been affected by the quake, but the U.N. reports that donations of funds have fallen well below that which is needed to help this nation rise from its knees.  They need $415 million, but have only received $22 million in response to last month's disaster.  Click the following link to get information about U.N. efforts and what is needed:

U.N. REPORTS FUNDS ARE WELL BELOW WHAT IS NEEDED

The clock is ticking because June is typically the beginning of their monsoon season which customarily causes floods and mudslides.  With millions of people homeless as a result of this disaster, it doesn't take much of an imagination to divine what looms ahead for this beleaguered nation.

If you can contribute any funds to help the Napalese, here are some links:

CATHOLIC RELIEF SERVICES
CAFOD - Just One World
TROCAIRE.ORG
CANADIAN CATHOLIC ORGANIZATION FOR DEVELOPMENT AND PEACE
CARITAS AUSTRALIA
CENTRAL OFFICE FOR CARITAS - In Rome, Italy
AMERICAN RED CROSS

If you are like me and have no funds to contribute, please join me in prayer for Nepal.  Do an extra rosary.  Take some time in adoration before the Blessed Eucharist.  Remember the Nepalese people when you say grace before eating, that they should also have food and safe water.

God bless us all.

Silver Rose Parnell
(c) 2015

BAIT AND SWITCH

Cheap cotton fabric on a garment that was promised to be

"butter soft viscose rayon"

Ordered online from Holy Clothing Company

Fraud and shoddy workmanship seem to go hand-in-hand these days, or perhaps it has always been thus.  I have had a week of disappointments in this regard.

Most recently, I had waited with baited breath for a "butter soft viscose rayon" skirt from my favorite clothing manufacturer, Holy Clothing Company.  I was particularly excited about these skirts because they were advertised as being 42 inches long, which would FINALLY be long enough to brush the tops of my feet, which is what I like in a skirt.  I am not super tall, at 5 feet 7 inches, but most clothes for women seem to be made for those who are several inches shorter.  (This makes NO sense to me because you can't ADD FABRIC to a skirt or pair of pants, but you can certainly hem them.)

I rarely wear anything but Holy Clothing skirts and blouses that have been shipped to me over the last few years and arrive by DHL delivery to my door.  Very handy for a disabled person, and the clothing has always been super.  I always get compliments on my many skirts, blouses, dresses and jackets.

Today when I opened the package, however, I pulled out two miserable, paper thin, stiff and scratchy skirts that were clearly labeled "100% cotton," which is NOT what I was promised.  This skirt was advertised thus:

Colette Simply Elegant Full Style Skirt

Price From: $34.99

Butter-Soft washed viscose/rayon breathes naturally for year round comfort.

[Fortunately, I had the foresight to copy this ad before they had a chance to change it subsequent to my vociferous complaints to them.]

I had already begun to develop a mistrust of this clothing company because I learned that, as a matter of policy, they remove all unflattering reviews from their website, leaving only the raves.  This is unethical, of course, and not the industry standard.  If you offer customers an opportunity to review a merchant's wares, the customary business practice is to include ALL reviews, not just the good ones.  When I questioned them about this, some time ago, I was given a thin excuse to the effect that complaints are rare and the problems can usually be fixed, so it isn't necessary to include them.  I disagree.

I have to admit that I was apprehensive about this order because of their unethical approach to their reviews and because I'd had some delivery issues with a shipment I had received some time ago.  I should have listened to my gut.

This happens all the time these days.  You pay good money for something that you are led to believe is going to be a quality item of a certain manufacture, and later discover it is either misrepresented (as in the above case) and/or is so poorly made it barely lasts a minute.

I am a tea lover.  I love tea and all its accoutrements and I have several friends who are likewise inclined.  There is something about tea, its rituals and its decorative motifs that makes a certain kind of person swoon.  I can't explain it.  I think it's a girl thing.

Anyway, I really needed an electric tea kettle that would turn itself off when the water boiled, since this would save on electricity and since my stove-pot tea kettle has fallen apart.  I waited TWO YEARS to purchase this darling ceramic tea pot from Victorian Trading Company.  It took me that long to get the money out of my budget.  I was keen for this variety because there would be less of a metallic taste to the water.  The fact that it is beautiful was another feature I appreciated.

I purchased this tea kettle one year and one month ago, on April 3, 2014, after waiting two years to save up the money for this $50.00 kettle, tax and shipping.  It now does not work.  Of COURSE, it is made in China, like just about everything else in our markets.  Chinese goods used to have a cheap price for cheaply made goods.  Now they're just cheaply made goods at a high price.  According to the website from which I bought this kettle, it was a "$75.00 value."  Ha!

Now, as it happens, Victorian Trading Company has agreed to send me a replacement for this particular item only, in that they usually will accept returns for just 90 days, but this item should not have broken so quickly.  I think they are using good customer service practices for a customer who has ordered a lot from them over the last 20 years.  Something very endearing that they do in this company is that the women who answer the phones have pseudonyms of famous women from history.  Today I spoke to "Eleanor Roosevelt," which made me giggle quite a bit, and I think the customer service representative was confused as to why I was laughing.  Perhaps she did not appreciate how funny it seems, or maybe she just doesn't know who was Eleanor Roosevelt.  I can't say.

Holy Clothing Company is also more than willing to credit me for the disreputable skirts they shipped me, AFTER I return the lousy skirts, but they expect me to pay for the shipping FIRST and then later they will reimburse me.  Frankly, I can't afford shipping charges on my disability income, as I can barely afford to purchase the original items to begin with!  As usual, it will have to come out of my food budget or I will have to put off paying a bill or repaying a loan.  First, however, I will contact my state representative, congresswoman Heather Graham, whose office has been instrumental in helping me with previous Federal issues.

Holy Clothing is located in another state and ships clothing over state lines, so I believe it is a Federal issue, as is fraud and bait-and-switch scams such as this one.  I will see if her office can make Holy Clothing Company do the right thing.  Personally, I think they should change their name, since they don't behave very "Holy" at all.

My new cell phone

Just a month or two ago, I got a new cell phone and cell phone service.  The phone was on sale for only $20.00 - even though it is a supposedly "smart" phone.  Well, now everyone I speak to tells me that my voice is fading in and out and they can't hear me.  IMAGINE A BIG FAT SIGH RIGHT HERE...and maybe a swear word that isn't too naughty.

I hear that there was a time when manufactured goods were made to last and that people would take things into a repair shop or would fix it themselves and keep them for years.  Frankly, this was before my time.  I think I was born into the age of the disposable.  Anyway, I am not going to go into a senior rant about how we should not be throwing things away but should be fixing them instead.  I agree with that perspective, but it requires that the items in question would be WORTH fixing, and they aren't.  They're not made to last.

Then there are the food adulteration issues we have to deal with in modern society.  Last week I bought a quart of "rainbow sherbet" ice cream from Baskin Robbins.  Once a month, sometime around the receipt of my monthly income, I allow myself a treat like that.  Imagine my surprise when, after scooping out a nice amount into my bowl, I licked the spoon and a horrid, bitter, chemical taste came into my mouth.  Kind of like industrial strength cleanser with a lemon overtone.  No, it was not sweet either.  Not a trace of sugar, nor of the pineapple, orange or raspberry flavors that are SUPPOSED to be in it.  I gave instructions to my friends, in case I should die.  I want to be buried, not cremated, and I would like to be located near my son's position in the Virgin of Guadalupe crypt at Mt. Calvary Cemetery.  I'm just sayin'....just in case.  I am STILL waiting for Baskin Robbins (Now owned by the Dunkin' Donuts people) to get back to me.  Likewise the health department.  I called their Albuquerque office yesterday and left a message on their machine and I am STILL waiting for a return call.  Can you imagine?  What if some kids get into this bogus ice cream impostor and keel over?

Going from the mundane microcosm to macrocosmic thoughts, it occurs to me that "the world, the flesh and the Devil," ALWAYS promises a certain happiness that is never delivered.  For instance, when magazines, internet and television ads convince you that, when you have a house or a car or a someTHING as nice as what advertisers present, you'll be happy, content and satiated.  Some people convince themselves that promiscuity unfettered by the danger of creating children is just the ticket to provide the joy they crave.  Others find it at the bottom of a bottle of wine.  Some people search for it in their wardrobe.  You get the drift.

Anyway, these daily irritations that I've been writing about eventually lead me to think about the larger issues and the basic reality that God alone suffices.  God alone is perfect.  God alone infuses us with unalloyed joy and peace.  The world, the flesh and the Devil will always disappoint.  There is no point expecting anything different.

Silver Rose Parnell
(c) 2015

ACCEPTING GOD'S WILL

"Perfection is founded entirely on the love of God: 

"Charity is the bond of perfection;" and perfect love 

of God means the complete union of our will with 

God's: "The principal effect of love is so to unite the 

wills of those who love each other as to make them 

will the same things." It follows then, that the more 

one unites his will with the divine will, the greater 

will be his love of God. Mortification, meditation, 

receiving Holy Communion, acts of fraternal charity 

are all certainly pleasing to God - but only when they 

are in accordance with his will. When they do not 

accord with God's will, he not only finds no pleasure 

in them, but he even rejects them utterly and punishes 

them."  ~ Saint Alphonsus Maria de Ligouri

Yesterday I attended the local Lay Dominican Chapter meeting.  First, there was morning mass in the church, then we moved over to the parish hall and had our meeting, which was begun with daily prayer from the book of Shorter Christian Prayer, a truncated version of the Daily Office that is said throughout the Catholic Church in monasteries and convents and sometimes by individuals at home.

We had a light breakfast, a reflection, some discussion about future events, and then we broke out into three groups for a discussion of a recent paper on governance that was a preparatory document in light of upcoming elections.  After all of that, I met with a few people with regard to entering the "Inquirer" stage of the process of becoming part of the Dominican order.

All of this took about 4 hours, and by the time it was over, I was in agony of physical pain.  My back, legs, sciatic nerve, and arthritic tailbone were all screaming at me, despite having taken two strong pain pills.  The pain stayed with me throughout the rest of the day, which I spent in my recliner, some of it sleeping.  I missed my customary Saturday evening mass.  At 10:30 p.m., I was still feeling the pain, and I realized that I am not physically able to attend these Lay Dominican meetings.

The most I can do is attend mass once a week at my parish, where they supply me with a chair that helps alleviate some of the pain that comes from sitting for so long.  Becoming part of a third order is a fine and beautiful thing to do, but it has become obvious to me that, as fine as it is, it is not God's will for the trajectory of my life.  I love God, therefore I exult in learning His will for me, regardless of what it is, because whatever it is, it is an expression of his love for me and his deep involvement in my life.

Nothing happens in life that God does not either will or allow to happen.  

Cheerfully accepting the will of God when it doesn't happen to coincide with what I thought I wanted is something I am STILL learning to do!  The alternative just causes me unhappiness.  There is a certain joy in knowing that God has revealed a clear path for me by hemming it in with very tall barriers.  I told Him I wanted only to know his will and, having my explicit permission, given by my free will, He has obliged me.

I had envisioned a different sort of life for myself in my later years. For the longest time, I yearned to be a nun in a contemplative convent with other nuns, but, having spent many years in God's company, alone in my apartment hermitage, I have grown to love this life as an expression of God's love for me. Being an accidental hermit who is disabled and mostly home-bound had not figured into my plans, but this is the situation with which I am gifted.  Having faith in God that he knows what is best for me in the highest sense is a crucial part of my spirituality.

Cultivating gratitude and learning to say "thank you" for the obstacles has been a hard lesson that took me a very long time to learn, and I am still evolving along those lines.  I suspect that this type of conversion just goes on forever.  In this deliberate effort, the joy of surrender is gradually coming upon me.  I pray that one day this joy will be complete.

In the meantime, I have advised the Lay Dominicans that I will not be able to continue with them, until and unless my health improves.  I will continue on at home, praying, meditating, and practicing the presence of God.

God bless us all.

Silver Rose Parnell

(c) 2015