BACK YARD

BACK YARD
Watercolor Painting of my back yard in Northern California

Saturday, September 6, 2025

THE END OF AN ERA - THE HERMIT LEAVES THE HERMITAGE

 



Ending the hermit phase to support my disabilities;

For more than 20 years, I have lived as a religious hermit. I originally intended to devote myself to a daily cycle of prayers and some practices which you can read about in my previous blog posts. I thought perhaps a few people might follow my example but, at the very least, I would come into contact with other monastic types living similar spiritual lives. I assumed I would eventually have the spiritual support of my church. None of it worked out the way I thought it might, but it has been an eye opening experience!

The overriding problem is that my disabilities have increased and worsened. I am in an electric wheelchair half the time, and I am blind in one eye. Global physical pain is my constant companion, and it is increasingly difficult to be on my feet at all.

The time it takes to do anything has multiplied in a ridiculous fashion, and I am not able to pay for anyone to relieve me of these duties.

I HAD planned on getting through my final sufferings with a large inheritance I had been promised by my father, and I was in his will for many decades, but then he got dementia and someone else wrote me out of his will. I kept writing and calling him, but he did not answer and I did not realize what was happening. I was too poor to go to California to check in on him. He died under very suspicious circumstances and I was not informed of his demise until his body had been cremated. Long after that, I was told by a co-conspirator to the inheritance theft that he'd had dementia for some time. It was only then that I learned just why he had not responded to my letters and phone calls. The people who were plotting the theft of my inheritance did not want me to know that he had dementia.

After he got dementia, All of my father's life-long attorneys, doctors, and accountants were fired by the thieves so they could hire "friends" of the thieves who would do whatever the thieves wanted.

Meanwhile, I was in another state, far away, without the resources or the medical capacity to travel to California in order to see what was happening.

The doctor who supposedly signed his death certificate was sent to prison for 7 years for being a Hollywood pill doctor who wrote prescriptions to patients he had never seen. The medical records that I received from my sister describe the distinctive appearance of one of the thieves as being my father's appearance.

It was clear what had happened.

Other people have been living on my inheritance, while I struggle. 

Although it was bad news for me, it is even worse for the the thieves because there is a good chance they will go to hell when they die. I am suffering temporarily because of what they did. They will suffer for all eternity because of what they did. They may fool other people with a pretense of goodness, but God will never be fooled.

If I was not physically disabled, I could easily dispense with the inheritance, but with my disabilities, it has proved to be quite difficult for my monastic plans. When you don't have much money, one has to spend a lot of time getting one's needs met, and when your needs are exacerbated by the physical disabilities, it is nearly impossible to find room for the monastic lifestyle I had envisioned.

I spend a shocking amount of time on the telephone, just trying to get my insurance to work as it is supposed to. The public has this idea that old folks on Medicaid have all these benefits, but it is a charade. Everything is arranged so that you don't actually get all those benefits because the insurance companies make it too damn hard to access them. 

For instance, eyeglasses are supposedly paid for by my Medicaid insurance. They SAY that they pay $400 toward them - but just try and make that work!

New Mexico Medicaid does not allow me to shop for my glasses online, once I have a prescription, except for one or two providers whose choices of frames is SO limited (and so ill-fitting) that I cannot find anything that will actually be accepted by the insurance AND fit my face. 

In my case, I have an extremely narrow bridge between my eyes but a REALLY WIDE face at the point where my eyes sit. One ear is placed considerably lower on my head than the other.

I need to know the actual measurements of each part of the eyeglass frame because of my crooked and uneven face, but even when the approved vendor does sell online, they do not include this information! Also, I need the metal nose-pads on the bridge because of my weirdly skinny nose and narrow bridge. So far, I have not been able to find even one style that includes them in the approved vendors!

MOST of the approved merchants require that I actually go to their office, which is a huge issue for me because I am in an electric wheelchair and Medicaid Medical Transportation, though it is SUPPOSED to be providing that transportation, is currently telling me on the day of the ride that they do not have a ride for me after all! And this is after spending HOURS on the phone setting up appointments to begin with.

Zenni Optical, an online company I have used for many years, is not approved by Medicaid, even though they are less expensive than their allowed vendors, and they have a much bigger variety of frames than Medicaid's vendors. In addition to these attractive factors, they also give exact measurements for each portion of the frame, such as the bridge, the arms, the height of the lenses and the width of the frames. Once I find a frame that has the right measurements, the website has a function where I can try them on virtually.

I have given up trying to get eyeglasses through the approved vendors and have used Zenni instead. I spent a large portion of my food budget this month on a pair of computer glasses and a pair of progressives that automatically turn dark when I go outside, which is a crucial feature because of my eye disease. I shopped carefully and spent only $202, which is very reasonable, but it is half my food budget! 

So, you see, while Medicaid CLAIMS they will pay $400 toward eyeglasses, they end up paying nothing for people in my situation. Anyone who has mobility issues due to disability is not easily able to take advantage of the supposed benefit.

I am also having trouble even getting to my doctor appointments. Sometimes they just don't show up the morning of the appointment. Other times, they have me waiting an extra hour before and an extra hour after the appointment, eating up half the day for an appointment that is less than 3 miles from my apartment, and causing me a huge amount of extra pain, despite the strong pain pills I am taking.

Sometimes I am stranded, with no one to ask for help except for one saintly friend whose close family member is deathly ill and who I really do not want to bother with my problems unless I absolutely must. 

When I DO get a ride from the insurance company, the driver is almost always someone who refuses to wear a mask (though required) because they have conspiracy theories and, if I make them do it, they get angry, and they treat me with a cold fury that is, at times, frightening. (These conspiracy theorists are far more numerous than I ever could have imagined, and they're so involved with their theories that they are unable to recognize how wacky they appear to the rest of the world.)

It has become obvious that I really need to have my own transportation but if I were to purchase what I really need, which is a van onto which I can drive my wheelchair, it would cost tens of thousands of dollars, just for the van itself, what to speak of the car insurance and other expenses involved!

So, you see, whatever time I DO have at my disposal really needs to be spent on those things I am able to produce for sale, and that is my writing and my art. I have been lamely writing a novel, during available hours (which have not been many.) I also paint and I make rosaries and wire-wrapped religious jewelry. This kind of work is done during the time I have available, on my own schedule, and I need to free up that time in order to put a better effort forward to finish the projects I have going.

One of the requirements of any kind of monastic life is that one has to have the time available in which to do the contemplative prayers, etc. I am no longer fit for it.

The typical cycle of monastic prayers takes many hours a day, and I have been gamely adhering to this cycle as best I can for more than 20 years, but it has become a real challenge for me to continue. A collection of circumstances, such as what I have described, above, has conspired to make it completely impractical for me to continue.

In my youth, I had been a nun in a Hindu convent that based its schedule on the customary schedule in a Catholic contemplative convent. So, when I became a hermit, more than 20 years ago, I had a pretty good idea of how to live this life and what was expected. I did fairly well in the first ten years, but then physical disabilities began to exert a pressure to the point where I am now too busy taking care of the mundane necessities of life to have enough time left for the contemplative prayers and meditation. So, instead of sitting in front of my shrine and closing my eyes, I am bringing God into my life, into my problems, and maintaining consciousness of Him at all times. It does not look like the contemplative monastic life to which I had committed myself, but I have the company of The Lord during all my hours, so I do have some personal satisfaction.


Disability can be a strenuous, noisy business;

Because I am unable to physically care for the hermitage, I am forced to host outsiders in my home so that they can help with the housekeeping. It is a noisy business, all around, and I am sometimes unable to get these people to stop yelling from room-to-room like fishwives in the marketplace. This is a real impediment to the maintenance of a monastic schedule.

The "caregivers" have no respect for the atmosphere of the hermitage because none of these people are particularly religious. Here in New Mexico, most of the folks that have been sent to me by the agency have been non-practicing Catholics who were not active long enough to learn anything about the silence of the monastic enclosure. When they are here, the cacophony is upsetting, but when I dispense with their services, the dust bunnies start to pile up around my ears. Having to choose between these two circumstances is frustrating.

For a long time, I imagined that I might find another Catholic who would comprehend my need for peace and quiet and who could follow directions for housekeeping, but that never transpired.

Friends abandon people who become disabled;

This brings up another depressing reality about my situation that I understand is quite familiar to those who are without close family and suddenly find ourselves disabled to the point of needing help to get around. No matter how kind we have been to others, no matter how many favors given or inconveniences endured for them, once we become disabled and start needing a bit of help to get through life, our entire body of friends and social contacts empties out like water from a sieve.

In addition, there is the problem of Trump and how some of the Catholic parishes have adopted this 34 times felon, rapist, slanderer, liar and manipulator as their new hero. Finding out that I do not support him has been enough to cause most of my Catholic friends and associates to drop me instantaneously. 

Occasionally, someone will show up and make noises about wanting to be friends of the monastery. They'll seek entrance to the premises and often come bringing gifts, initially, but it usually turns out that these people who show up, seemingly out of nowhere, are often more interested in my physical possessions. Several have stolen from me, and I have learned my lesson after the last one who recently asked to borrow a chair so she could sleep on it the night before she was to take a plane to the East Coast, where she was moving. It was all a lie. She wanted to keep the chair, and that is what she did. She hopes I am "not too disappointed" in her for stealing it instead of returning it to me in the morning.

Other friends have become disabled with dementia and have gone to nursing homes or to other states where they live with relatives. This is common for someone in my age range.

Given these harsh realities about the lack of family and friends, makes it imperative for me to become more self-supporting if it is at all possible.

While I had hoped that my efforts at the hermitage would be helpful to others, I find that I am not helping anyone, as I can barely help myself!

The Catholic Church has mostly abandoned me;

Another reason for my decision to put the hermit life behind me is that I had pictured a loving interaction between me and the Catholic Church that never materialized, partially because the people of The Church are suffering themselves through a fractious time in which political realities are causing an unusual amount of friction between Americans.

If I delve too deeply into how the Catholic Church in the U.S. became allied with an American political party, this blog post would have to evolve into a book in order to properly explain it, so I am limiting my comments to general explanations that do not target identifiable persons, but instead I will mention prevailing circumstances during this era.

Hermit life has traditionally been temporary;

It should be noted that it was common for Catholic hermits of the distant past to live this singular religious life for a temporary period of time, and then they have customarily moved on to different life paths, though equally committed to their spiritual life as before. 

Often, the hermits of old had attracted a group of followers who ALSO wished to devote themselves completely and wholeheartedly to the  spiritual life. Many times, formal groups formed themselves around the hermit. This was not my expectation, but I did think that I would have the occasional interaction with other solitary monastic associates from various contemplative organizations, but that did not materialize.

Most of the barriers are not within my control;

Some of the parishes I have approached with the hope of finding a spiritual home have simply been unfriendly. Lies have been told. Spiritual support has been withheld, and, in the first few years of my hermitage, at least two priests have been terribly unkind and involved in lying about, slandering, and publicly shaming me with ribald jokes about my body parts and other highly inappropriate behaviors, the motives behind which absolutely mystify me, but it seemed very evil.  I was alone, trying to establish myself in a parish that was ethnically specific, and full of large families, and the priest was targeting me for humiliation.

It is possible that the mere fact of my being a solitary woman with no man or other family attached to me made me a target for abuse. Other women have claimed the same. Without knowing any of the circumstances, being divorced can be the only factor necessary for supposedly spiritual people to feel justified in treating the woman with contempt.

Hostile Church environments prevail;

In some parishes, wealthy people predominate. In others, if you are unmarried, you are not welcome as a single female. Years ago, a woman who was bringing me the Eucharist accused me of pursuing a family member. It was entirely out of her own sick imagination, but this is a perfect example of how single women are treated in the parishes. We really are not welcome. In one parish, I was told I did not belong because I am not Hispanic. In another, I was told that I was not welcome because I am not Native American. These parishes have an atmosphere similar to an exclusive club and it feels impossible to find one's niche. 

The sex abuse crisis affected how the Catholic Church operates;

I have approached two parishes with the idea of a new parish ministry geared toward welcoming  new parish members, and I also presented the idea of advertising for caregivers on the parish bulletin so that Catholics might be encouraged to take up this type of career so that the solitary single disabled ladies in the parish might have the company and assistance of other Catholics.

Unfortunately, it was pointed out to me by one priest that, after the terrible sex abuse crisis of the church, particularly here in New Mexico, there is "no way" that any Catholic Church in New Mexico would involve itself in the "private lives" of their members. From this, I get the impression that the Catholic Church has been artificially truncated in a manner in which the people who need them the most are the ones who are least served.

If I was able-bodied, with my own transportation, and a certain income level, I might find a welcome at one of the parishes, but even under those circumstances, being a single woman of a certain age makes it more likely that I would be shunned.

Even the Archbishop has given me the cold shoulder;

I spent some time over the last five years trying to get a response from our Archbishop, and I was promised a return phone call several times, but this never happened. The Archbishop, whose job it is to decide upon whether he will have a "Diocesan Hermit," and which would have allowed me to have the eucharist on my shrine, in my home, simply ghosted me. Of course, one could say that no response is a type of answer to the question, and I agree, however I think it is a rude answer. Anyway, after a few telephone calls and some emails, I gave up.

I even wrote the new Pope but he did not answer either!

As far as the Church is concerned, I haven't written it off entirely. I have worked myself back to the parish where I was originally accepted into the Catholic faith a number of years ago. The priest is a very nice man. I am too disabled to attend, and I have no transportation anyway, so one of the staff brings the Eucharist every week or two. She hurries in and does a little ritual and then hurries out. That is the complete and total extent of my involvement with the Catholic Church, after all these years. I have given up trying to become part of my parish.

Fortunately, God has NOT rejected me and never will. He is with me at all times, and I talk to Him all the time, and I worship Him through my art.

I am quite sure that, if The Lord wanted me to continue to pursue this type of monasticism, He would have provided more spiritual and physical support from the Catholic Church. I will just take care of my physical problems as best I can, say my prayers and meditate when I am able, and put my monastic life behind me, except that I carry The Lord with me throughout each day. I carry him into  my art and my writing, and hope to sell some of these things so that I am better able to care for myself. There is really nothing else I can do.

But I trust that the Lord, his saints and the angels are with me constantly. I have many ancestors who have been declared saints by The Church, and I have faith that the entire Heavenly Court is looking after me and is with me always. The Lord Himself is listening for my entreaties.

"Before they call, I will answer;
and while they are yet speaking,
I will hear."
Isaiah 65:24

I have noticed that The Lord has often guided me by removing all other avenues of pursuit so that I know, for certain, what He has in mind for me. This is the current condition of things.

Anyway, while I was prepared to live as a hermit and devote myself to the Catholic monastic life and cycles of prayers, I am not equipped to live without any spiritual support from the Catholic institution because the picture I have been given is that one has to be healthy enough to get to church on one's own steam and The Church is too afraid to involve itself in the personal lives of its members. It is like a club. You have to go to the club house to be considered part of the thing.  But the guardians at the gate breathe fire at you if you don't vote for Trump, so, even if I was able to get to the parish building, the guardians at the gate might just make it too hot for me to enter.

For MANY YEARS now, I have been unable to get rides to church and have had to struggle to get the Eucharist brought to me. The help that I need as a result of not having any family is completely unavailable because the church is living for its own existence at this point.  

Because it wrongly gave assistance and shelter to perverts during the era of protected sex abuse, it is sheltering itself under its own very protective roof. EXCEPT FOR ONE SAINTLY WOMAN, none of the parishioners care about me. No one visits me. No one helps. Until Donald Trump came along, there were a  number of people coming and going, trying to be of assistance, but when I decided not to vote for Trump, all my Catholic well-wishers disappeared, except for that one saintly woman who, although she votes for Trump, will not abandon me, God bless her.

All of these circumstances have conspired to convince me that it is no longer possible for me to pray according to my monastic routines. Nothing has turned out the way I thought it might, and I have very little support for my spiritual life from The Church. I am SO GRATEFUL, however, that the entire Heavenly Court makes itself known to me every day. The Lord and Our Lady, the saints and the angels speak to me all the time. They know I am doing my best and have released me from my obligations.

From now on, I will be praying through my paintings, my poems, and my books.

I will use my time for art and writing projects;

Instead of a monastic prayer schedule, I am going to devote my time to my art and writing from which I have made money in the past. There is no guarantee, of course, but I have to do something toward improving my financial situation so that I can purchase a car and car insurance so that, at least, I can get to doctor appointments which, at this point in time, I am unable to do half the time. My disabilities are serious enough to where it is crucial that I not miss these appointments. At present, although I am mostly blind in one eye, I do have 20/20 vision otherwise and I am allowed to drive - which I am determined to do while I am still able. The world has shown me that there is almost no human being upon whom I can depend and I need to improve my ability to depend upon myself as much as possible.

The hermits of old were no strangers to physical work. That is part of the "ora et labora", but they weren't disabled. They were physically able to take care of themselves and they did quite a lot of hard physical work, typically. Anchoresses who attached themselves to a church were not so physically challenged, as their work was more as a person of continual prayer for that particular parish. I am able to carry out neither one of these scenarios.

I intend to continue my writing and my art during those fleeting moments when I have the ability and the time. I am in my early 70s and I have no idea how much longer I will live. I will take one day at a time from now on and hope to complete my art and writing projects before I die.

I hold no grudges;

I hold no grudges against anyone who has made life difficult for me or disappointed me during my time on earth because I do not take anything personally. Everything one does is done to and for The Lord alone, even if you do not recognize it. If you hurt me, you are actually hurting The Lord, and vice versa.

All of your struggles represent the fight between good and evil. It is not a fight with me.

God brings all things to the good;

I know for a fact that God brings all things to the good for those that believe in Him. Somehow, He will cause good to come out of all things, and I trust Him that this is what is happening for me as well!

So, please do not make the mistake of thinking that I hold some kind of grudge or bitterness toward any of the people I have described in this final blog post. Their struggle with evil has nothing to do with me. If they are unkind to me, if they lie to me, cheat me and steal from me, it has nothing to do with me. It is their own struggle with their baser natures. I hope that The Lord helps them find the goodness within themselves so they can abandon the evil with which they have treated me and others - because otherwise it will make them suffer, and I would not want that for anyone. I hope they all come to blessedness, faith and hope.

“But to you who are listening I say: 
Love your enemies, do good to those 
who hate you, bless those who curse 
you, pray for those who mistreat you.
Luke 6:27-28


There is still time for all these people to repent, make amends, and be granted forgiveness. Even those people who stole my inheritance and kept me away from my father and did not tell me he had dementia during his final years and did not let him talk to me on the phone or read my letters. I pray that these thieves, liars and killers seek forgiveness for their own sake. They should remember that when they die, they will be faced with all these sins and will have to live with the consequences for eternity. I could only feel deep compassion for people who must endure such a sad eternal future.

Of course, the test of repentance would be to return my inheritance to me, and I doubt seriously that they will do this. The love of money is a hard addiction to overcome.

I may or may not return to this blog to add entries now and then. I may start another blog for the display of my paintings, but I have not yet decided. I only say "good bye for now!"

God bless us all.

Silver Rose Parnell

Tuesday, September 2, 2025

DON'T BLAME ME FOR NOT GIVING YOU THOSE GOOD VIBRATIONS





Jeffrey Epstein and Donald Trump
Best Friends


Some may have noticed a shift in my writing to political topics, but I feel I have to do this at this time because it is clear to me that Donald Trump and his enablers are the most dangerous threat to our American way of life that we have ever seen, and, If they are not made to adhere to our laws and norms, the entire future of all our descendants is at stake, as well as the trajectory of success - or failure - of that remarkable ark of freedom, the United States of America. Trump is rapidly turning our country into a completely authoritarian state, but this is the opposite of the intentions of the founding fathers. Eventually, as with all dictators, our freedom of religion will be at stake, and this is where my concerns really intersect with the topic of politics. I can see that time approaching very quickly.

It is ironic that we are going through this because our entire system of government was created largely in reaction to the ultimate of authoritarian governments: the oppressive monarchy of England, against which we raged in the Revolutionary War. After wresting our freedom from "The Crown," we created a government that was specifically balanced between three branches, all of them being co-equal with one another. But this was necessary in order to avoid ending up with an authoritarian model of some sort. Authoritarianism is SPECIFICALLY what we were trying to avoid.
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The balance of these three co-equal branches of government was drilled into us with a certain force in high school, as was the overarching idea that a lot of the organization of our system of checks and balances was a direct reaction and objection to the extant system in England and most of the rest of Europe, with the legally enforced supremacy of the elite families of the "nobility" that inherited all the rights, titles, land, money and recreation, but none of the labor.

The American ideal is an elegantly balanced scheme of cooperation between three branches of government, with each one having its own sphere of influence, the three of them maintaining, all the while, a stately, respectable tension with one another in a system that is, itself, majestic, rather than relying upon the whims of a single person who has been gifted with majesty as an accident of their birth.

Instead of a king, the founding fathers created the position of a president which is very restricted in what it is allowed to do. Our president is NOTHING LIKE a king. In fact, in many instances, the role of a president is very nearly ceremonial in function. Our president is not at the top of a power pyramid. NO. He is at the head of one of the three branches of government. He is NOT the head of all three branches, and this is something that Trump fails to understand. Trump is PART OF the Executive Branch.
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In America, authority is divided. CONGRESS has "the power of the purse," while the JUDICIAL branch makes the laws. The president is part of the EXECUTIVE branch, which was never intended to have more power than the other two branches. They are co-equal. The president does not have the power to dictate to the other branches, but apparently, this is what Trump expects, because it is how he is behaving. He is ruling rather than governing. He demeans the rule of law by misappropriating majesty to himself, while his boot-licking lackies throw hyperbolic compliments over him, like buckets of confetti showering a clown's head in a circus parade. 
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I watched one of his big announcements today, and it was a real snooze fest, especially since his flunkies spent half the time flattering him. It was sickening. The "big announcement" was that some part of the space program is going to be located at Huntsville, Alabama, and that Trump is changing the city's name to match that new role. Lord, save us all. The man is so besotted with every picayune opinion of his that he can't resist the allurement of giving in to every temptation to inflict his opinion on the world. He wants the Gulf of Mexico to be called the Gulf of America and Huntsville, Alabama to be called something very George Jetson-ish. In the meantime, all of the experts, and the entire Colorado Congressional Delegation is against this move. They have some legitimate and compelling reasons why they do not want this move, but Trump is ignoring what they need and giving in to his desire to make a big splashy announcement. (Anything to avoid having to discuss the Epstein files, it seems to me.)
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Of course, we have seen Trump break promise after promise and we know that he only says certain things to coerce people into voting for him, and then he reneges. It is typical of him to lie in order to con people. Think about all those poor Polish construction workers that he stiffed in at least one of his large building projects!
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Trump either does not know ANYTHING about government, or perhaps he is just disregarding it because he wants to do certain things and he does not care that they are either illegal in themselves, or effected in an illegal manner. He IS behaving as a dictator and has even recently mentioned that being a dictator is something that sounds good to him. A number of times he has said that we will not have to vote again, once he came into office, clearly meaning that he does not intend to leave office. I predict he will do everything he can to create an emergency and then concoct a reason why that emergency demands that he remain in office - forever, essentially.

So far, during the last 8 months, Trump is announcing every action by "executive order" and most of what he orders is illegal, either in its content or by doing it in this method. Trump's tariffs, for example, are mostly illegal and I was gratified to learn today that almost all of them have been disallowed by the courts. Thank God the courts are mostly holding strong and sticking to the law! (Unfortunately, the ill-equipped and unqualified members that he and Mitch McConnell shoved onto the Supreme Court have inserted some uncertainty into the equation and we can only pray that they grow a spine and some morals because their tenure will be long, as they are young, and they will outlive Trump for a long time and they will not be able to live down their reputation if they cater to him too much.) He is fighting it, of course, because he tends to fight everything to the death. But has any other president done EVERYTHING through executive orders? NO.
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The Republican Party, to its everlasting shame, has become "The Trump Party" and is allowing Trump to make a mockery of their profession. For instance, the Congress has the power of the purse and he regularly usurps that. Those cowards don't say a word however. They're all just letting him do it. It is reprehensible. They have sacrificed everything that is worthy or fine about their calling, and there are many of us who have vowed never to vote Republican ever again because of it. My votes have vacillated back and forth between the parties over the years, but now that I know the GOP can be bought so cheaply, I can never trust them again. They will never again have my vote.
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The surprising thing about Trump is that he does much of his illegal nonsense in full view of the general population. I suppose this is how he gets the uninformed to believe that all this is normal and legal and above-board. He announces it broadly and if anyone questions what he does, he immediately starts criticizing Joe Biden, as if that poor man had anything to do with it! So far, every Trump supporter with whom I have interacted on Facebook has made it obvious that they are ignorant of our laws and system of government. Thus, they are easily misled. 
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Political personalities, who DO know the laws, are OK with him disobeying the laws, apparently, because money, power and control mean more to them than the preservation of our way of life. They have no morals, no ethics, and no character. They want Trump in office, running roughshod over everything, flinging wide the doors to the wealth and power that is typically just beyond their reach, or which usually takes too long to grasp. Trump has announced the Trump kleptocracy and they have jumped on board in order to grab as much as they can get while Trump is in power. (I suspect the joke will eventually be on them, however, because, from everything I have read, Trump usually manages to stiff everyone he cons into joining him.)
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To say that Trump is a person of criminal inclination is not exaggeration. He came to the office already a 34 TIMES CONVICTED FELON, and there are further circumstances around which we have seen highly consequential LIES, MISREPRESENTATIONS, and very strong indications of further crimes that are hinted at but not yet revealed.
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For instance, after promising constantly that he would release the Epstein materials as soon as he took office, and then immediately refusing, once his goal was reached, this speaks volumes about his lack of honesty, reliability, and loyalty to his supporters (those poor suckers.) I never believed he would release those files. He was that pedophile's best friend for 15 years, and we have seen and heard for ourselves the type of moral turpitude to which Trump is inclined. He knows he is in those files. We have already seen many photographs, including some with very young girls gathered close around them. In years to come, nothing would surprise me, as far as revelations of Trump's involvement in Epstein's debauchery. We just do not know any of the particulars. Chances are, we may never know. I am guessing he would have had the material destroyed by Pam Bondi or some other obedient underling, if he was actually guilty of anything. I think it is far more likely that some of his friends and his sources of income are more likely in those files and he has to protect them or risk part of his power base.
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Of course, we have seen Trump break promise after promise and we know that he only says certain things to coerce people into voting for him, and then he reneges. It is typical of him to lie in order to con people. Think about all those poor Polish construction workers that he stiffed in at least one of his large building projects.
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Trump impresses me as a completely amoral person. His crimes run the gamut. His conviction for "sexual assault" against E. Jean Carroll was labeled as such by the New York judicial system, but the judge in that case indicated that, under any other circumstances, Trump would have been considered to be E. Jean Carrol's rapist. Trump further assaulted the poor woman by calling her all sorts of names and claiming that she was lying about the sexual assault in which he attacked her in a dressing room of a large New York department store. There was considerable evidence against him. He was convicted of SLANDER against her, lost that case, SLANDERED HER AGAIN, and was further penalized and now owes her more than 80 million dollars! It is my understanding that he hasn't paid a cent of the judgment, and this is typical of him, but I am not staying on top of this story, and I could foresee a time in which he might pay her to shut her up while he is in office, though I doubt it. Everything I have read indicates that he does NOT like to pay his debts.
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I have the impression that some of my Facebook friends are tired of seeing POLITICS in my news feed. I will not pretend that I am an expert on political realities. I am not. I am an artist and a nun at heart and I haven't had much interest in government or politics UNTIL this dangerous man took power. For me, everything has changed.
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However, I am disabled, poor and isolated, so there really isn't much I can do in addition to my prayers, EXCEPT to spread the word when I can, which is what I do, here, and on Facebook.
.
I will respect the fact that some of my Facebook friends and followers may not be interested in politics, despite the possible costs to all of us. Everyone experiences the pressures of life in their own way, and not everyone is MENTALLY ABLE to get their attention focused on this topic, despite the possible future damage to all our lives. Every person is differently abled, and I get that.
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But, while I respect all our conceivable differences and unique temperaments, this does not mean that I am going to stop warning everyone about the possible consequences, if Trump and his billionaire boys club continue to be allowed free reign, because it has been proven to me that many people are ignorant of politics to the point that, I am convinced, if they KNEW the full extent, would take more interest in it than they currently do. For some reason, every Trump fanatic with whom I have had a conversation online, none of them seem to have been educated about our system of government, and this is of even more concern than the problems with Trump himself. I am wondering what has happened to our system of education if so many people are so ignorant about the basic organization of our government and its three co-equal branches.
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The stakes are high.
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So, if it aggravates you that I am not entertaining you or giving you the good feelz that you crave, I would just say that "you do you," and I ask you to please find a way to endure your annoyance at being reminded of this topic, as best you can, because I am not going to stop until the danger has subsided.
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You can always take me out of your news feed until Trump's term is over and then return to following me when he has been dealt with and/or he leaves office. Until that time, I will not be catering to anyone's wish that I ignore these political realities because the possible results are far too dire. We HAVE reached a crucial turning point and I feel I have to do SOMETHING. It isn't much, but it is my part.
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Anyway, try to understand my motives and don't harbor animosity in your heart that I am not entertaining you and making you feel good. I just can't do it right now. I AM praying for you. I am praying for all of us, but I have a duty to warn, as well, and I intend to fulfill it.
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At any rate, I believe Trump to be the most dangerous and depraved government official that America has ever entertained in a position of power, and I cannot just pretend that life is proceeding "as usual," while I sit and meditate and pray. Too many people are underestimating the damage that this man can do to our country and to all who live here and the rest of the world that relies upon us.
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It looks as if we may be faced with a Constitutional Crisis - or perhaps several of them. Trump has already challenged birthright citizenship.

Of the greatest concern to me is the absolute cruelty with which he deals with out immigrant community. Even those who are in our country legally and pursuing citizenship "the right way" have become his target. Many people who are actually citizens have been targeted by his goons. The cruelty seems to be the POINT with him, and my heart is absolutely breaking for the children that he is damaging. I cried every day of his first time in office. I have kept myself from crying too much this time by speaking out against his atrocities. If I do not continue to speak out for the righteous path, the Christian path, the path that Jesus himself would take, I won't be able to live with myself.  
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So, you see, I can't afford to ignore all the potential emergencies in favor of enjoying my art projects, my meditation, and my incense. I don't think that my God would be happy if I abandoned my neighbors to their fates so that I could please myself.
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I do not want to regret, in the end, not being more vigorous in my warnings and end up having to take some responsibility for failing to even TRY to advise and alert the ignorant. I do not want to see the tears in the eyes of my fellow Americans and hear them wail, "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL US?"
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God bless us all, may the Lord save us, and:
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GOD BLESS THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA
.
Silver Rose




Sunday, August 3, 2025

PRAYING FOR THE VICTIMS OF CHILD SEX ABUSE BY GHISLAINE MAXWELL AND JEFFREY EPSTEIN


Epstein Victim, Virginia Giuffre
was 17 when she claims Prince Andrew had sex with her.
Her complaint alleges that Epstein passed her around to
his friends, such as the Prince.
She committed suicide in 2025.

 


I AM PRAYING FOR THE HUNDREDS OF VICTIMS OF PEDOPHILES JEFFREY EPSTEIN AND GHISLAINE MAXWELL, PROMPTED BY NEWS ARTICLES (LINKS TO WHICH ARE LISTED BELOW THIS POST.)

IN THE NEWS THIS WEEK:

(If you are already up-to-speed on all the news, feel free to skip to the PRAYERS section below!)

Trump reneges on his promise to release all the Epstein material.
After years of promising to release all the Epstein materials (of which there is quite a lot), Trump has reneged on it and, as if waving it aside and saying "there's nothing to see here, folks," he sent his former personal attorney to see pedophile rapist/trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell to speak to her in a highly inappropriate, solitary interview at which there were no witnesses and no transcripts. Immediately thereafter, pedophile rapist/trafficker Maxwell was moved to a cushy, luxurious, minimum security "prison" that doesn't even have a gate to prevent the inmates from leaving (which was not a legal move, by the way. This type of prisoner is not allowed in this type of facility.)

Victims still suffer.
Meanwhile, there are hundreds of victims of pedophile rapists/traffickers Maxwell and Epstein who are suffering in the extreme, except for some who have died, at least two of whom took their own lives, after decades of anguish.

Damage is permanent.
What many do not realize is that victims of this kind of crime never recover from it. They suffer the rest of their lives and the only relief is learning how to cope with it. There is no "cure." It will never go away because it changes a girl forever when this happens. Every one of those victims, to one degree or another, has been permanently altered.

BACK STORY:

Girls as young as 12 were preyed upon by Epstein and Maxwell.
According to victims and witnesses, Girls as young as 12 were targeted, hunted, groomed and raped by Ghislaine Maxwell and/or Jeffrey Epstein. HUNDREDS of underage girls were sought after by Ghislaine Maxwell, who "befriended" them, groomed them, then betrayed them, turning them over to a vile pedophile and, in some cases, joining in the sexual abuse.  One victim described how it was Maxwell who first took the girl's clothes off!   

Girls lured by promises of career advancement.
Initially, the girls were led to believe that they have made a friend of a very posh, upper class woman of style and grace who believed in them and their career aspirations, goals and dreams. In some cases, they were promised jobs as massage therapists for Epstein, and these promises included unheard-of benefits, such as free education and training, as well as the freedom to keep their own schedule, to spend time working at other jobs (such as dancing and modeling gigs) and also to be included in their new friends' jet-setting lifestyle, complete with world travel on Epstein's plane that was, horrifically enough, called "The Lolita Express." Maxwell and Epstein introduced them to a massively impressive coterie of famous wealthy people, some with quite a lot of prestige. Prince Andrew and former president Bill Clinton were among the people who had traveled on that plane, and it is reported that many "high profile" people, including Trump, were in Epstein's orbit.

Lured to Epstein's sex plane "The Lolita Express."
Many of the assaults took place when the victims were, essentially, trapped on that plane, which was decorated with velvet armchairs and sofas, mahogany or teak desks, a shower, galley kitchen and dining area. It featured a queen-sized bed in the back, which victims said was installed so that the girls he had lured into the plane could be made to have sex with Epstein's guests. All of the luxury seating could be laid out to become beds. Photographs of the interior that were were presented at Epstein's trial confirmed this description.

Epstein dies under highly suspicious conditions.
Epstein died in 2019, under highly suspect conditions while awaiting trial, in prison and, although it was claimed that he killed himself, many people who knew him say that this simply isn't possible. In addition, there are several circumstances that are suspicious: More than three minutes of video tape during the time of Epstein's death is missing, the rest of it having been spliced together. 

Prison rules violated, video missing time, and Guards cruise the internet.
Prison rules were violated in  a number of ways.  For instance, people at risk of suicide were required to have a cell mate. His cell mate had been moved out. Guards were not watching over Epstein's cell. Instead, it was reported that some were sleeping and others were browsing the internet for furniture and motorcycle sales. The required 30-minute checks that were supposed to have been done were NOT. INSTEAD, guards were found to have been wandering around the common areas when Epstein died. Later, guards were charged with falsifying records.

Ghislaine Maxwell was convicted in 2021 of 5 sex trafficking counts and given a 20 year prison sentence.



AMERICANS UNITED IN REVULSION
TOWARD THIS TYPE OF ABUSE

Americans of both parties mutually detest this type of crime.
Ordinary Americans on both the right and left side of politics are united in their loathing toward this type of crime, especially as it pertains to young people who are not equipped to deal with it and whose lives are forever damaged as a result of being victimized in this way. 

Trump often blamed the Democrats.
For many years, Trump and his followers have claimed that it was the Democrats who were responsible for the crimes and for the subsequent coverup, but Democrats have made it crystal clear that they ALSO wish for all the material to be released, regardless of who is mentioned or pictured. Most of the MAGA devotees also seem to be sincerely committed to getting to the bottom of this story and I have heard them say that to turn their backs on this would be a travesty to which they do not want to be a part. After so many years of saying they want the material to be released, there does not seem to be a legitimate reason to keep it hidden.

Trump Administration vacillates.
The only people who seem to want it hidden are those who were involved with Epstein and Maxwell and those whose slavish devotion to Trump is so intense that they do not truly care about these crimes and have only complained about them because they thought that it was a Democrat coverup. As soon as Trump sought to hide the material, they changed their minds about their importance. I have no respect for people who have no essential devotion to any values and I believe we should ignore their specious arguments in favor of keeping the stuff hidden, since they are only trying to protect and defer to Donald Trump.

Victims suspect a coverup.
Victims of Maxwell and Epstein are upset about Maxwell's release into a minimum security "country club" style prison and are making claims of a cover-up, an idea that has found purchase in the minds of many folks who, expecting Trump to release the Epstein materials, as promised, are infuriated that he now refuses to do so.


PRAYERS FOR VICTIMS OF MAXWELL AND EPSTEIN

Incentive for prayer:
The crimes for which Maxwell is convicted and further accused cry to heaven for justice. Young women and girls who were lured into a situation for which they were not in any way prepared have been permanently scarred - harmed for life. These are the type of crimes against the innocent which change the nature of a person's sense of self. No matter how many people are involved in this crimes or witnessed them, and regardless of who they are, our attention and compassion should be focused on the victims, not the abusers.


INTRODUCTORY PRAYER:
****************
God of endless love,
ever caring, ever strong,
always present, always just:
You gave your only Son
to save us by the blood of his cross.
Gentle Jesus, shepherd of peace,
join to your own suffering
the pain of all who have been hurt
in body, mind, and spirit
by those who betrayed the trust placed in them.
Hear the cries of our brothers and sisters
who have been gravely harmed,
and the cries of those who love them.
Soothe their restless hearts with hope,
steady their shaken spirits with faith.
Grant them justice for their cause,
enlightened by your truth.
Holy Spirit, comforter of hearts,
heal your people’s wounds
and transform brokenness into wholeness.
Grant us the courage and wisdom,
humility and grace, to act with justice.
Breathe wisdom into our prayers and labors.
Grant that all harmed by abuse may find peace in justice.
We ask this through Christ, our Lord. Amen.

U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops - web site

✞ FOLLOW UP THE ABOVE PRAYER WITH THESE:

OUR FATHER...
HAIL MARY...
GLORY BE...
FATIMA PRAYER...
JESUS PRAYER...

*************
FOR THOSE WHO DO NOT KNOW THE "OUR FATHER" THROUGH JESUS PRAYERS BY HEART, I OFFER THEM HERE:

OUR FATHER:
Our Father, who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come,
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us,
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from Evil.
Amen

HAIL MARY:
Hail Mary, full of grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of our Death.
Amen.

GLORY BE:
Glory be
To the Father,
And to the Son,
And to the Holy Spirit,
As it was in the beginning,
Is now, and ever shall be,
World without end,
Amen.

FATIMA PRAYER
Oh, my Jesus
Forgive us our Sins.
Save us from the fires of Hell,
And lead all souls to Heaven,
Especially those most in need of thy mercy.
Amen.

JESUS PRAYER
Lord, Jesus Christ,
Son of God,
Have mercy upon me,
a poor sinner.
Amen

Friends, if you have any comments, please feel free to contact me and, if credible and respectful, we will print them here. Likewise, if you have information you feel should be included and for which you would like us to pray, please let me know and I will take care of it.

In the meantime, I pray for all of you as I hope you pray for me.

God bless you all!

Silver Rose

P.S. Below this blog post, I am collecting links that give information about this topic. If you would like to add something that is pertinent and helpful, please forward the information to me and I will read it for possible inclusion here.


LINKS TO
INFORMATIONAL VIDEOS & NEWS ARTICLES













SUBSTACK - The Actual Conspiracy Theory Surrounding Trump and Epstein (NOTE: This article contains links and also descriptions of Katie Johnson's accusations against Donald Trump, that he raped her AT THE HOME OF JEFFREY EPSTEIN when she was a 13 year-old virgin, complete with horrible dialog that sounds like the way Donald Trump speaks. Although her story came out many years ago, it was BEFORE Epstein was convicted and the whole thing blew up. It has the ring of truth to it, but she was hampered in her efforts to be heard by the fact that her attorney was a sleazeball, which she had no way of knowing at that time. I have no trouble believing that Trump raped her. He has already announced to all of us that he is a rapist in several widely seen and heard interviews and depositions. He was also convicted of "sexual abuse" which is what they call it in the civil court under the type of case that was filed.)



Friday, August 1, 2025

PRAYING FACEBOOK FOR THE SUFFERING AND STARVING CHILDREN AROUND THE WORLD - UPDATED AUGUST 10, 2025)








LET US PRAY OVER THE NEWS AGAIN TONIGHT, BELOVED FRIENDS. 
.
The news about starvation deaths, mostly of children in GAZA, as a result of conditions of war, primarily caused by Israel's blockade of food aid into Gaza, is grabbing more and more of my attention and disrupting my typical prayer schedule and duties at the hermitage.

LINKS TO NEWS ARTICLES ABOUT STARVATION IN GAZA:





I had already been following the effects of the cuts made to humanitarian efforts by the Trump administration. "[T]he Trump administration has shut down the U.S. Agency for International Development (USAID) , which funded the majority of U.S. humanitarian and development assistance worldwide to people in some of the worst crises." (OXFAM) 

The United States halted humanitarian aid around the world during Elon Musk's slash-and-burn campaign that was advertised to eliminate "waste, fraud and abuse" but which succeeded only in sacrificing crucial functions of our government, which included the prevention of starvation around the world.

LINKS TO NEWS ARTICLES ABOUT TRUMP'S SHUT-DOWN OF USAID:





Every time I think about it, I try, in vain, to hold back tears and I end up weeping for some minutes. I feel I am being called to take control of my attention span and focus a portion of my prayer time for the benefit of the starving and suffering people.

I OFFER UP MY TEARS FOR STARVING AND SUFFERING CHILDREN AROUND THE WORLD.

CHILDREN IN GAZA ARE STARVING TO DEATH WHILE TRUMP RIPS UP THE ROSE GARDEN FOR THE SAKE OF AN EXPANSE OF CEMENT AND UNMOCKS THE WEST WING TO BUILD A GROSSLY TACKY BALLROOM.

BEHIND THE SCENES, CHILD RAPIST AND TRAFFICKER GHISLAINE MAXWELL HAS BEEN MOVED TO THE CUSHIEST PRISON FOR WOMEN THAT IS MORE LIKE A RESIDENTIAL RESORT FOR BAD ACCOUNTANTS, WHILE THE FBI HAS REDACTED TRUMP'S NAME FROM THE EPSTEIN MATERIALS, AND TRUMP IS OBVIOUSLY POSITIONING HIMSELF TO PARDON VILE PEDOPHIHLE  / RAPIST / CHILD TRAFFICKER GHISLAINE MAXWELL IN EXCHANGE FOR PROTECTING TRUMP FROM EXPOSURE IN THE EPSTEIN FILES.

AT THE SAME TIME, IT HAS BEEN REVEALED THAT THE "GIFT" FROM QATTAR OF THE LUXURY AIRPLANE (THAT TRUMP IS SAID TO BE PREPARED TO TAKE WITH HIM WHEN HE LEAVES OFFICE ) IS GOING TO COST A BILLION DOLLARS TO RETROFIT IN ORDER FOR IT TO BE USED AS AIR FORCE ONE. 

TRUMP JUST RETURNED FROM SCOTLAND, WHERE THE PEOPLE LOATHE AND DESPISE HIM. THEY PROTESTED AGAINST HIS VISIT (WHICH COST THE AMERICAN TAXPAYERS ABOUT TEN MILLION DOLLARS, EVEN THOUGH HIS ENTIRE PURPOSE WAS A PERSONAL ONE - SO THAT HE COULD OPEN A NEW PORTION OF HIS PERSONALLY OWNED GOLF RESORT. (THERE IS A VIDEO OF HIS CADDY HELPING HIM CHEAT AND THROWING A FAKE BALL ONTO THE GREEN WHEN TRUMP FAILED TO HIT THE REAL ONE INTO THE RIGHT SPOT.)

THE GRIFTING AND COVER UPS NEVER STOP.

OUR FATHER...
HAIL MARY....
GLORY BE...
FATIMA PRAYER...
JESUS PRAYER...
AMEN
***********************************************
NARRATIVE:

I watched WASHINGTON WEEK tonight. First I listened to their report on the children starving in Gaza and how Bibi Netanyahu is blocking food from entering the area. (I remember reading about how Musk crushed USAID, and the resulting starvation of the children in the Sudan and other areas, which continues.) THEN I watched/listened to how Trump is tearing up the grass in the rose garden and replacing it with CONCRETE.

AND THEN there was the piece about how Trump is closing down the West Wing and TURNING IT INTO A LUXURIOUS BALLROOM for big parties.

The contrast between the starving children and the gross, tasteless extravagance of Trump's rebuilds just kills me. I burst into tears and wept for several minutes. I can't remember crying for myself in that way. My heart is broken for those children, just like during Trump's FIRST administration, when he ripped children out of the arms of the parents and imprisoned them behind chicken wire to sleep on cement. (TO THIS DAY - about 1,000 of those children were NEVER RETURNED TO THEIR PARENTS because Trump didn't give a crap about making sure that the parents and children were reunited.)

THEN, on another program, I hear about how Trump is making noises that make it appear that he is on the verge of pardoning pervert Ghislane Maxwell, who groomed and then joined Epstein in raping school girls.

[MORE WEEPING ON MY PART.]

I am so unhappy about what is happening in our country. Trump and his vile toadies are doing everything evil that should not be done, and destroying everything good, wholesome and right.

CLICK ON THESE LINKS FOR SOME BACKGROUND FOR THESE STORIES:











Please pray for the renewal of our national moral fiber and the resurrection of our compassionate Christian heart. But, most of all, please pray for the Lord to save the world's children from people like Donald Trump, Ghislaine Maxwell, and the Right Wing Lie Machine.

God bless us all.

Silver Rose

P.S. FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT KNOW THE PRAYERS - HERE THEY ARE:

OUR FATHER:
Our Father, who art in Heaven,
Hallowed be thy name.
Thy kingdom come, 
Thy will be done,
On earth as it is in Heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread,
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive those who trespass against us,
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from Evil.
Amen

HAIL MARY:
Hail Mary, full of grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
And blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners,
Now and at the hour of our Death.
Amen.

GLORY BE:
Glory be
To the Father,
And to the Son,
And to the Holy Spirit,
As it was in the beginning,
Is now, and ever shall be,
World without end,
Amen.

FATIMA PRAYER
Oh, my Jesus
Forgive us our Sins.
Save us from the fires of Hell,
And lead all souls to Heaven,
Especially those most in need of thy mercy.
Amen.

JESUS PRAYER
Lord, Jesus Christ,
Son of God,
Have mercy upon me,
a poor sinner.
Amen




THE HEAVENLY COURT